A Cure for Social Isolation

July 21, 2017 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology, It's Not For Sissies

It occurred to me that we seniors suffer from two types of isolation–social isolation and technological isolation. I personally don’t have a problem with the former, but I do suffer from the latter. Many seniors, though, have a problem with the social isolation, and our statistics reflect this.

According to the latest census, more than a quarter of us over 65 live alone. Unfortunately the percentage will only rise as we age, due to a natural progression of life. While not all seniors living alone are socially isolated, living alone certainly predisposes us to the condition of social isolation.

Photo from Pixabay

Preparation for this Phase of Life

My mother-in-law must have instinctively known this. She was in her late 60s when Chuck’s father passed away.

By the time she was in her mid 70s she moved closer to two of her children, leaving behind a vibrant community of friends and neighbors. She explained that she thought it better to do the move at that age instead of later when she might be unable to make new friends as easily. I believe she knew that social isolation would be a problem as she aged.

Her fortitude amazed us. Within a short time after the move she joined the local Woman’s Club and Tallahassee’s First Baptist Church. In no time, we were being introduced as Dody’s son and daughter-in-law. She made friends quickly and remained as active as she had been back in Fort Lauderdale.

Dody prepared for what she had to face, but losing people is a fact of life for all of us.

Losing Loved Ones–A Fact of Life

My Grandmother Roe used to lament about how she was the last one left in

her rather large immediate family. One of the older siblings, she was the lone survivor of eight brothers and sisters. Also, her husband passed away 38 years before she did.

It is a fact of life that if we live long, many of our loved ones and friends will pass before us. This is another predisposing factor for social isolation. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is an inevitable occurrence either for ourselves or someone we love.

Sometimes They Just Move Away

Sometimes, though, it doesn’t take a death to create the conditions for social isolation. This same grandmother was another case in point. She lived next door to us my entire childhood, so she had lots of social interaction coming from right next door.

But that all changed in the mid 1970s, about the time I left for college when the rest of my immediate family moved to central Florida. My father’s company promoted him to a company-wide supervisory position, but it required the family to move away. It left my grandmother by herself. She was in her mid 70s.

Back then she was considered a “shut in”, a term we no longer use. She did not drive, so she depended on others; otherwise she was totally independent.

Mom and Dad came back to visit once a month, and I drove over from Tallahassee every other week. She also had other family members and friends nearby who helped with her more pressing needs.

What I remember her talking about, though, was the loneliness. She became someone she had never been before–a real talker. She would talk your ear off, where before she was a fairly quiet woman. She just needed someone to talk to.

I realize now that she was socially isolated during this six year period. By 1980 I moved back next door with my husband and toddler and another child on the way.

TeleConnect4Seniors May be the Answer

In May a company called TeleConnect for Seniors contacted me and asked if I would try out their new service recently launched in May. Their service is a US-based call center designed to be used by people like you, me, and others like my grandmother who might need help.

It is a subscription-based service, but they offered me a year’s subscription to try them out. They were obviously very trusting because they set up the service with no signed contract and no strings attached. Teleconnect offered me the third (Premium) level so I could try it out fully. This has been my only compensation.

The service runs 24/7, 365 days a year. So it is always available to help, always there when I need to call.

Not only are they there to answer general questions, but they can also conduct online research for me, provide help with my appointments, and best of all provide help with computers and mobile devices. They can even serve as a “wellness check” service, calling you or a loved one to periodically see how they’re doing and if they need anything.

How TeleConnect for Seniors Can Be Used

Can you imagine what kind of help it may have provided for my grandmother Roe, especially when combined with today’s companies that deliver groceries with only a phone call? She might have had trouble with the technology but not TeleConnect making the order for her.

I can envision someone calling her and asking her if she had any needs for the week. She might have said that she was running low on milk, which she often did. Or maybe Anacin. She took Anacin for arthritis like it was candy. What a relief it would have been to my dad when a stranger on the phone took care of her grocery order for the week.

And can you imagine how helpful it would have been to have someone call her a couple of times a week just to talk? For her that might have been the best service of all. It could be a tool to combat social isolation.

TeleConnect for Caregivers

TeleConnect for Seniors can also work very well for those of us still in the workplace who have to care for a senior parent or spouse that is less mobile but wants to remain independent.

My parents and grandparents (mother’s parents) were all ill at the same time back in 2003. I just about went crazy dealing with all the insurance and Medicare forms and issues for the four of them, a job that my Dad did until he was stricken with pancreatic cancer.

I would have given anything for this service then–someone to help me wade through the endless paperwork, the forms, the lists of medications. I used to lose a few brain cells every time I had to figure out which medications to change to when their meds fell off the “accepted insurance” lists. ??

TeleConnect for Myself

But what about my needs today? After all I am 63. Well, a few weeks ago, I found myself in a technologically-challenging situation. I have one of those newfangled routers that has nodes throughout the house for more even coverage. So the technology is new.

But it wasn’t a problem for Cynthia, who answered the phone at Teleconnect for Seniors. I found Cynthia respectful, patient, and understanding. To fix my problem she worked directly with the company who sold me the router. I earlier tried to reach them with no luck.

After I turned my problem over to her, Cynthia was friendly, helpful and promised to get back to me in 15 minutes. And she did! Wow!! She told me that they would call me momentarily, and they did. Double Wow!

TeleConnect for Seniors offers three different levels of service, starting at just $29.95 per month. For more information about TeleConnect For Seniors, call 877-271-9599 . Or go to www.teleconnect4seniors.com.

How it works

All of us wish to age with independence and our dignity intact. I believe TeleConnect for Seniors might be able to help with this process. Most seniors I know do not want to be a burden to their families. Having a company to help them cope might be the answer.

Does Facebook Suck Up Your Time?

October 24, 2016 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology, Family Life

I love Facebook. It allows me to keep up with friends who I’ve lost contact with over time. Friends relocate. They change jobs, and life in general always seems to get in the way.

Best way I know of keeping in touch, though, is through Facebook. But it comes with a price.

Did I say that I love Facebook. Its best feature is that I can keep up with not only my long lost friends but with my kids and grandchildren. I see pictures almost in real time.

Hear that sucking sound?

But let’s face it. Facebook sucks up time like a vacuum cleaner. All of a sudden you’ll realize that a couple of hours have gone by, and the house looks like hell…

or the trash never got put out or the clock struck midnight and you have to get up by 5:30 the next morning. That swooshing sound you hear is Facebook sucking time out of your day.

So a couple of years ago I realized that either Facebook had to go or I had to get stronger in my resolve to limit its use. The latter option is where I began.

Round 1: Trying to Get Control

At first I went in every morning and allowed myself only 20 minutes to check my news feed. Every night I did the same, but I would still slip off the wagon and find myself at midnight as happy as a clam commenting back and forth with whoever was still up.

Or a Saturday morning would slip by and there I would be sitting in my pjs glued to the screen as time sped toward noon. An entire morning lost.

Round 2: Success

Finally, I had to get real and cut it out or drop my page; and that is when I discovered the “close friends” feature. If you check your friend as a ‘close friend’, then you get an email every time they post.

I automatically check my emails every morning and every evening anyway, and there they are–my close friends’ emails waiting for me to check them out.

I have all my family members (children, in laws, husband, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc) checked as ‘close friends’ and my truly closest friends, too. I have a few of my old high school buddies, college buddies, and former career colleagues checked, as well.

These are the ones that usually post only the important events in their lives like pictures of their children and grandchildren or when something truly important is happening to them. These are the ones that don’t post every day.

A few years ago when we planned a high school class reunion, I checked everyone in my class who was on Facebook. It was fun to keep up with their lives just before we got together. By the time of the reunion I had things to talk to them about, such as how their daughter was getting along in graduate school or how was little Timmy doing.

You can check them (a friend) as a ‘close friend’ for a short period of time and then uncheck them later if needed, which is what I did after the reunion.

A note about my friends is in order here, though. I’m still very careful about who I friend. If I don’t know them, I don’t accept their request. It keeps my numbers down.

And if one of my close friends keeps posting offensive comments or posts too often such as a Candy Crush player, I uncheck them but keep them as a regular friend. I’m truly interested in what they have to say, but time is precious. I would rather spend it writing my book or even more important visiting with my family.

So if you are having Facebook separation anxiety, but you know that something has to change? Give this a try. I think you’ll find that it helps tremendously.

So How Do You Set Up Your ‘Close Friends’ on Facebook?

All you need do is go to ‘their’ Facebook page, then click on “Friends” in the top box to the right of their name.

Next, scroll down the options and click on “Edit Friends List”. Then click on “Close Friends’.

Or go to your list of friends. You can check and uncheck friends in bulk here.

I tried it on my immediate family members first, then added more later as I got used to the feature.

I have friends who were afraid to use Facebook because they were afraid of the time lost. This has helped them use Facebook just to keep up with their offspring.

The ‘Close Friends” feature has worked amazingly well for me over the last couple of years. I finally got control of my Facebook addiction.

Life is a Rough Draft–We Don’t Get to do it Over

July 30, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology, Family Life

I just read an interesting article in the New York Times entitled “Screen Addiction Is Taking a Toll on Children” by Jane E. Brody. You can read it here.

Photo Found On Pixabay

I had no idea that they were now giving guidelines for the amount of time children should be allowed to watch any electronic media, including television, hand held devices, video games or computers of any kind. Below is a paragraph from the article.

“Before age 2 children should not be exposed to any electronic media, the pediatrics academy maintains, because “a child’s brain develops rapidly during these first years, and young children learn best by interacting with people, not screens.” Older children and teenagers should spend no more than one or two hours a day with entertainment media, preferably with high-quality content, and spend more free time playing outdoors, reading, doing hobbies and “using their imaginations in free play,” the academy recommends.”

I remember when we decided that our girls needed to watch less television, but with both of us working it was almost impossible to regulate their TV use. One of the girls was having trouble in school, and we noticed that she watched television nonstop, like a zombie. Her attention span was very short.

So I was especially appreciative when Chuck found something called Time Slot. It was a little machine that sat on top of the television that used a credit card system to regulate television time for each child. He heard about it on public radio, and I believe we bought it through the North Carolina Public Television System. You can read an old newspaper article about it here.

For a little over a year the girls were allotted one hour of television a day that they could use anytime they wanted. In other words they could accumulate their hours and watch an entire movie after several days. Chuck and I both had a parent card each, which had unlimited time of television use. They would ask for the parent card when their friends come over, when they wanted to watch a movie with them. As long as this didn’t happen too often it was not a problem.

The system worked well; although there were funny moments. For example the first time Jamie had friends over to watch TV, she forgot how much time she had on her card. All of a sudden during the movie her card ran out, and the television turned off. She said the boys in the room said, “What happened to your TV?” She yelled upstairs, “Mom!” I came down with the parent card and fixed the problem, but there were lots of questions from her friends. Jamie was so embarrassed.

For over a year Time Slot worked like a charm, until their brother Jeff came home from college one holiday and showed them how to secretly bypass the machine. I guess he thought they were old enough by then to watch as much television as they wanted.

After that, they were careful not to let us know how much television they were watching. For a while we didn’t realize that they knew how to bypass it. All in all though there was still the advantage of them watching less television, because they didn’t want to get caught.

Now it seems like my grandchildren are watching some type of media non-stop. We’ve mentioned it from time to time to each of their parents, but I get the feeling they just think we’re outdated.

All I know is this. These are precious little lives, and life is simply a rough draft. None of us get to do it over–not the parents or the children.

So What is a Blog Anyway?

June 5, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology

I have a 94-year-old uncle who is in a rest home and who I send hard copies of my blog posts. The other day he asked me “What is a blog?” and “Why is this called a blog?”

I have lived so long in this blogging world that I was surprised when he asked, though I shouldn’t have been. It hasn’t been around that long, and there are still elderly Americans who have never even used a computer. My uncle retired before desktops were commonly used.

So here’s what I told him, but not without first googling it. I found millions of answers to the question “What is a blog?”, and I learned a little myself in the process.

The word blog can be used as both a noun and a verb

When used as a noun it means that it is a regularly updated website or web page, typically run by one person or a group of persons. When used as a verb, it means to add new material to or regularly update a blog. For example, “I blog about once a week on my blog.”

Photo by Victor Hanacek and picjumbo

A blog is usually written in an informal or conversational style. This reminds me of PR school when we were instructed to write in a conversational style because people were more likely to read it.

I told my uncle that a blog is somewhat like a web journal or diary, but that today some blogs are more like online journalism. Some blogs are so popular that company’s pay to advertise on their site.

The word blog originally came from the word “weblog” or “web log”. Of course, the web is simply another name for the Internet.

A blogger is someone who blogs or writes for a blog. Blogging is the act of writing a post for a blog. A post is an entry or story. Posts typically are posted in reverse chronological order, thus the most recent post appears first. Blogs are made up of many posts.

Blogs are updated when the blogger wishes to add a post, but if the posts are not added frequently enough, they are called a slow blogger. There seems to be no strict definition of what a slow blogger is, but I would probably be a slow blogger by some bloggers’ standards. I try to post about once a week. I know bloggers who post daily, but they wear me out trying to keep up with them.

Photo found on picjumbo

Most blogs offer a way for people to subscribe to new posts via email. It is a free service.

This means they can receive new posts via email without having to visit the blog itself. The email has enough information so the reader can decide whether they want to read more or not. This gives the reader a way to never miss a post if they are interested enough.

Photo by Victor Hanacek and picjumbo

So there you have it! My uncle now understands a little more about the web world; and I do, too. I had no idea that the name “blog” came from “web log”.

Can We Put Out a Fire With Sound Waves?

May 1, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology, This & That

Actually, it is a valid question that engineering students are already asking themselves.

I live in a part of Florida where prescribed burning is a way of life. Prescribed fire safely reduces excessive amounts of brush, shrubs, and trees. It encourages the new growth of native vegetation and maintains the many plant and animal species whose habitats depend on periodic fire. Many of Florida’s native plants are used to periods of fires, and they have adapted.

Florida gets a yearly average of almost 60 inches of rain. Yet, it often comes all at once in buckets, while we still have our droughts during other times of the year. Look at a map, follow our latitudinal line, and we are on line with the Sahara Desert. Thankfully, though, we have the Gulf Stream; and our afternoon thunderstorms are a blessing from the heat. Problem is, though, they can also ignite a wildfire–a very natural occurrence in Florida.

Wikipedia Map Florida and the Sahara Desert

Florida is home to over 16.7 million acres of forests. 11.7 million acres are private land, and 5 million acres are publicly owned by our local, state, and federal governments. Most of the forests are in north and central Florida. With our droughts, thunderstorms and vast woodlands, we are a state at risk when it comes to wildfires.

My family, who has been in Florida for eight generations, have had several experiences with wildfires. My great-great grandparents William and Lavinia Hamrick lost their home to a wildfire near a little town called Aucilla, Florida; and my grandparents Tom and Lucy Roe lost theirs to another wildfire somewhere around Lamont, Florida, in the mid 1920s. William and Lavinia were farmers, but Tom and Lucy were in the forest industry and lived near a sawmill in the woods.

A fire can be good or bad. The bad occurs when the woods become overgrown with fuel. If a natural fire does not happen soon enough, the understory made up of brush and shrubs become overgrown and fuel a raging fire at some later date. All it takes is one good lightning strike during a thunderstorm, and all of a sudden the raging fire is pushed along by the winds burning miles and miles of woods and anything else in its path.

When my ancestors moved to Florida in the late 1820s, the Native Americans here were farmers and already used controlled burns to keep the woods from burning them out. It didn’t take the new settlers long to learn how to use and control fire. Today, our Florida Forest Service in the Florida Department of Agriculture works with land managers and owners to help them do controlled burns for the same reason.

A timely fire can burn through a forest and not only burn the understory but also thin out unhealthy trees. The new tender growth that returns is higher in nutrients for the wildlife who live there.

A Controlled Burn; Otherwise Known as a Prescribed Fire – Florida Forest Service

A raging wildfire though is different. Healthy trees are killed while shrubs that provide food and cover for wildfire become ashes. Even some soil nutrients are vaporized in the intense heat, and it becomes airborne in clouds of choking smoke. The woods become grossly changed.

The Aftermath of a Wildfire – Florida Forest Service

Yet, all across Florida, land managers struggle with whether to burn or chemically treat their forests. Some turn to chemical treatments because the risk of a multi-car pile up on the interstate or the risk of burning out their neighbors is too great. Yet, the risk of not burning is even greater.

If this new research works to the scale of a wildfire, imagine the possibilities! Could we actually fight a wildfire with sound?

Here is an article about the possibility of this new technology. Engineering Students Extinguish Fire with Sound

Don’t Take My Picture! I Hate My Photos!

March 21, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology, Family Life

I have a cousin who always ducks and dodges out of pictures. I worry that some day after our generation is gone that her children will miss having any pictures of her. I have a grandmother who felt the same way about her pictures, and I have so precious few of her now.

I can feel my cousin’s pain, though. I went through this when I was in my thirties. I just hated pictures of me. Now I look back on them and wonder why all the anguish? They just weren’t that bad.

I recently ran across a Blog named Peanut Blossom with a post entitled How to Look Awesome in Vacation Photos. Tiffany’s advice for us ladies was right on the money. She explains how to stand or sit and what angle to ask for when having our pictures made.

So ladies, let’s just suck it up and get into those family pictures. Our grandchildren will thank us someday.

Me, my girls and two of the grandchildren

How GPS Can Save A Marriage

December 2, 2014 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology

Someone directionally challenged Chuck. He chalks it up to all the southern cities he lived in as a child. His father’s job moved the family about every two years. For years after we married, I was still learning about other cities where he had lived—Knoxville, Jacksonville (FL), Richmond, Charlottesville, Gainesville (FL), Augusta, Greenville (MS), Opelika, Ft. Lauderdale, Scranton (SC)…

He can get lost quickly, but unlike many men, he quickly stops at a minute market to ask for directions. Of course, you know as well as I do that usually the person behind the counter at the minute market just moved to town last week and knows nothing about their surroundings.

Chuck thinks I’m a rock star when it comes to “finding my way.” He says that I have a sixth sense of direction. My gift comes from summer after summer of traveling by car all over the US with my parents, but Chuck thinks it is having lived in the same area all my life.

There are times, though, when my sixth sense of direction fails us. Usually, it is in a big city somewhere at night.

Before GPS, Chuck would drive, and I would navigate using a map. When Harold drives, his mind is all over the place. He spaces out, as engineers so often do. I may have said, “Turn left at the next intersection,” but we will pass it by if I don’t repeat it and sometimes yell it. To which Chuck replies, “You don’t have to yell.” Yes, I do. I really, really do.

One night in Atlanta, we visited one of his old fraternity brothers. We had been weaving through street after darkened suburban streets for almost an hour. The map was unclear about a coming turn, as it had been unclear many times before. I mentioned it again to an exasperated and tired Chuck, and he snapped back, “Well, it is right there, Cindy; just look at the map and figure it out.”

Well, I was tired and hungry, too, which is a combination that usually pushes me over the edge. When we married, my mom warned Chuck, “Sometimes Cindy gets hungry and tired.” At the time, Chuck thought she had slipped a little into “la la” land with all the wedding day dramas, but he quickly understood.

It probably came several days later when I moved my furniture into his home, and he tried to explain that there wasn’t enough room for all my grandma’s heirlooms. Chuck already had furniture of his own there.

Today, we still live in the same house; and Chuck tells folks that as far as he knows, there is not one stick of his furniture left. If he’s talking about those macrame yard chairs that used to sit in his living room, he’s right. They were about the only furniture worth keeping, but they went outside where they should have been all along. They finally rotted, so we threw them out. But I digress as I so often do.

So I snapped, shoved the map between him and the steering wheel, and said, “I’m done. You figure it out!” He was furious, and so was I. We finally stopped arguing while he belly-ached and tried to figure out the map.

Enter our first GPS system a few years later, and later while traveling in Colorado, Chuck and I realized it had been a long since we had fought over directions. In fact, we’re wondering if there will be a time soon when people will not know how to read a map.

The screen of our first Garmin.

So, GPS may have saved our marriage? Our earliest were several smaller Garmins and a Tomm, but the latest ones come factory installed in our car and truck. Thankfully, their screens are large enough that even I can see it, even with my progressive contacts and 2.00 readers.

Pixabay Photo

The Perfect Christmas Gift

October 12, 2014 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology, Family Life

Many of us spend a lot of time looking for the best Christmas gift for our loved ones. We brave Black Friday and shop on our lunch hours, while some of us spend hours online looking for that perfect gift.

However, this year I think I may have just the right gift for my family. I got the idea when I saw this video.

The video begins with a statement asking if I knew that the average person spends four years of their life looking down at their cell phone. “How these touch screens make us lose touch…”

It occurred to me that this young man has a good point, and I’m as much to blame as the next person. Every once in a while Chuck will ask me if I have my iPad with me before we walk into a restaurant; and since I almost always do, he reaches into the backseat to get his and says that he does it out of self-defense.

I think we all ask ourselves if we spend too much time with our social media and not enough time visiting face to face. I know I do.

Near the end of this young man’s video, I thought he was going to throw his iPhone into the sea. What he does, though, is simply put his cell down and gaze at the sunset.

To me this could have been a symbol to give up all our electronic devices, but instead it symbolized his understanding–that our technology has its place. He cautions us “to be balanced, be mindful, be present, and be here.”

So as I pondered his message, and I came to a decision. I am going to put down my cell, my iPad, and turn off my computer for Christmas. It is such a wonderful time for family and friends that I want to truly be in the moment.

Starting December 22nd and ending on the 27th, I will give the following gift to my family and to myself. I plan to turn off my cell phone and iPad and leave them in my office along with my computer. I plan to stop checking my Facebook or Twitter. I plan to turn off the TV unless it is to watch a movie with family.

So what will I do with the extra time when no one is around? Maybe I’ll read more (with an old fashioned book made of paper)…

…maybe I’ll ride my bike (after I air up the tires)…

…maybe I’ll take a walk or …

…maybe I’ll invite the kids over to decorate a Gingerbread house.

Christmas, 07 007

Otherwise, an old land line at home and a “not so smart” camera will have to suffice.

Voice Texting?

April 13, 2014 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Electronics & Technology

My kids and I do a lot of texting. We are constantly sending each other little thoughts and comments.

I hardly ever use the keyboard anymore. Siri does my typing for me, and it works really well.

It occurred to me yesterday that someone should give us the option of voice texting so we can simply listen to the recorded voice instead of having to read anything. It would be so much better and safer for texting and walking, texting and driving, texting and biking, texting and shopping, etc., etc., etc.

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