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OLD AGE IS NOT FOR SISSIES

NOTHING IN LIFE IS TO BE FEARED

Digging Around in my Mental Attic?

by Filed Under: Books

“I’m so glad I’m not famous. I would hate to have this guy digging around in my mental attic.”

I’m reading the biography of P. L. Travers, the woman who wrote “Mary Poppins”. I found this quote in the book, “Mary Poppins, She Wrote: The Life of P. L. Travers” by Valerie Lawson.

Another quote was from a biographer…

“…biographer Michael Holroyd, who has said,

I discriminate between the rights of the living and the dead…When we are living we need all our sentimentalities, our evasions, our half-truths and our white lies, to get through life. When we are dead different rules apply.”

I have this book and am reading it myself. I’ll review it when I’m done.

Meaning Different Things to Different People

by Filed Under: Books, This & That

I believe that poems mean different things to different people. In fact I even believe they can mean different things to the same person at a different time in their life.

I’m reading “Mary Poppins, She Wrote: The Life of P. L. Travers”. T. S. Eliot is quoted with a few lines from his poem “Little Gidding,” from “Four Quartets”. It spoke to me as a writer, but you must draw your own conclusions. The poem is below.

“What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning.

The end is where we start from.
And every phrase and sentence that is right
(where every word is at home,
Taking its place to support the others,
The word neither diffident nor ostentatious,
An easy commerce of the old and the new,
The common word exact without vulgarity,
The formal word precise but not pedantic,
The complete consort dancing together.)

Every phrase and every sentence is an end and a beginning.
Every poem an epitaph. And any action
Is a step to the block, to the fire, down the sea’s throat
Or to an illegible stone: and that is where we start.

We die with the dying:
See, they depart, and we go with them.

We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”

T. S. Eliot,
“Little Gidding,”
Four Quartets

I found that this is just an excerpt from the end of a much longer poem. I also found the following on Wikipedia when I looked up the poem to find out what others thought it meant. Wikipedia says, “The end of the poem describes how Eliot has attempted to help the world as a poet. He parallels his work in language with working on the soul or working on society.”

Meditation w/ Anusara Yogi Bridget Woods Kramer – omshop.com

by Filed Under: Health

Meditation w/ Anusara Yogi Bridget Woods Kramer – omshop.com

One of my favorites. This 7-8 minute Yoga video leads and explains meditation better than anyone I’ve worked with. “Breathe out thoughts, emotions, desires. Let your thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky. There isn’t a single moment when God disappears.” You can find it on You Tube. Love this video

How My Fitbit Helps Me Keep Moving

by Filed Under: Electronics & Technology, Health

Fitbit and other devices can help us keep moving, and moving is our best line of defense against aging.

I’m sure all of you have heard about Fitbit by now.  I actually had not heard about it, until one of the kids a few years ago said that she wanted one for Christmas.  I said, “What’s a Fitbit?”  She said, “It is an activity tracker that keeps up with how many steps you make in a day.”  The cheap part of me told her that I had a step device that could do the same thing.  She said that the Fitbit did so much more.

So I checked it out, and she was right.  It was the perfect Christmas gift for each of our children and their spouses.

The Fitbit gives each an opportunity to challenge one another.  Then it keeps up with what each is doing and displays it.  Shortly after Christmas, all of them were involved in these challenges.  They kept talking about who was ahead and who was lagging behind.  I just couldn’t stand it, because I felt left out.

So Chuck got me one for my birthday, not too long after Christmas.  Immediately I was challenged daily by several of the kids to keep up.  I actually liked it a lot.

My Fitbit recorded several of my daily activities, including the number of steps taken, the distance traveled on foot, number of floors climbed, calories burned, the number of active minutes, sleep efficiency, movements during sleep, number of wake-ups during sleep, etc.  It is a wireless-enabled wearable device that is always measuring data.  The company who makes it made the first generation in 2010, I believe, and they are located in San Francisco.

ge” href=”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Fitibit_Flex.jpg”> Fitbit with Accompanying Wrist Band

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It seems, though, that my lifestyle is doing well for me.  I’m coming in second or third in each of the challenges, and the kids do things like 10K’s and half marathons and ironman types of activities. They belong to gyms and run and walk in their neighborhoods.  They are the hares.
Me, I’m just a turtle, but I move continuously throughout the day.  For example, on my computer is a 20-minute clock that is always running.  It is called Workrave 1.10; and if I work nonstop for 20 minutes, it lets me know that it is time for me to take a break.  It says that I should stretch and relax, but I always find something else to do.
Workrave Screen Shot

isnotforsissiesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/z.jpg”> Workrave Screen Shot

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Breaks for me include activities like washing clothes, washing dishes, gardening, straightening the house, etc.  These are activities that I need to do, and it takes lots of steps to do them.  My Fitbit just keeps gathering the “steps” data.
Also, when I watch TV I skip the commercials, nor do I watch more than an hour of TV a day.  It is amazing what you can get done during TV commercials.  I jump up and wash a few dishes or carry a load of laundry upstairs to put away or sweep the front porch.  And my little wrist Fitbit just keeps gathering data.
I seem to have a lot of energy, and I believe it is because I keep moving.  Just moving slowly but always moving.
And sometimes the turtle wins!  🙂

One Stunning Parental Role Model

by Filed Under: Family Life

Every child needs a role model, and so do parents. Harry Connick, Jr. the former judge on “American Idol” is in my opinion a good parent’s role model.

My Chuck better watch out, because he’s got some competition. I used to watch American Idol, and I fell in love with Harry! Harry Connick, Jr., that is.

He’s certainly easy on the eyes; but I really noticd him when he began to be honest, forthright and constructive with the young contestants. He wasn’t brutal like Simon; nor did he sugar coat it like Randy. He seemed to have just the right touch. When they added him to sweet J. Lo and wonderfully authentic Keith, the mix between that year’s judges seemed just right.

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Speaking Honestly

Later I noticed that Harry was a family man. Or at least that is how he appeared. But he really won me over when someone said that the judges needed to resist being cruel. I guess Harry thought they aimed the comment at him, because he said that he wasn’t being cruel, just honest.

Hooray for Harry! Finally, someone who speaks honestly.  With all this PC talk, it seems as if no one speaks honestly anymore.

When Parents Don’t Deal Honestly

We all just shake our heads, when these clueless, tone-deaf young people come to “Idol” to auditioon. Surely someone in their family noticed that John or Mary cannot sing, and yet there stand the parents to comfort him or her when the frustrated kid walks out crying.

Some really act up, as if they were still toddlers. This type of “stand by your child no matter what” type of parenting doesn’t really help these kids.

I also wondered who paid to get them to the audition in the first place. What happened to talking honestly with your kids, even about their shortcomings?  What happened tomrefusing to fund a shortcoming?  And come to think of it—what happened to honest parenting?

We are doing our kids a disservice when we encourage them to win for the sake of winning, when we give them trophies just for trying, or when we look the other way when their behavior is inappropriate. Many of these kids never quite understand why they don’t fit into social circles.  And to make matters worse, some are taught to have an attitude when they don’t as if that makes it all ok in the end.

Be a Parent First and Foremost

It might be considered cool to parent like this in some circles; but from where I hail, it is simply considered lazy parenting. It is so much easier to be your kid’s friend, than to be your kid’s parent.

There are no perfect parents, but there are those who really try–who consistently try. They know that parenting is hard, around-the-clock work. One of our kids was more difficult to raise, and there were many times that we wanted to give up and say “what’s the use.”   We kept trying though until she finally left home for college, and even then it wasn’t quite over.

Strive to be a Good Role Model

Please America, wake up and teach your children well. How many young adults do you know who have messed up their lives, due to poor judgment. How many chances have they missed?

How many are still living with their parents, instead of gaining independence and reaching for their own ambitions? How many are floundering in a sea of debt from college loans–another example of poor judgment passed on fromall of us parents?

My mother once said that as a parent my number one job was to raise my children to be independent adults. She didn’t have to tell me to love them. She knew I would fall hopelessly in love with every one of them. No, she reminded me that it was my job to make sure they survived; and she wasn’t just talking about food, clothing and shelter.

If we really want our kids to succeed, then we have to be their role models. We have to remember that we are not only teaching them to mature and become functioning adults, we are also teaching them how to teach the next generation. It is an awesome responsibility.

A Role Model in the Entertainment Industry

Thank you, Harry, for saying what everyone else in the entertainment industry isn’t saying. The entertainment community is littered with young people who feel hopeless and out of place in life. What a breathe of fresh air to have one of their own who publicly exercises good judgment and talks about it honestly.

Thank you for being a role model–maybe even  a good role model for parents.

So I was already in love with Harry, and then he performed last night! I loved it! What an entertainer. Good looks! A good character! A Role Model! This renaissance man is hot!

Harry Connick

What’s the Difference Between a SAHWM and a AFHWM?

by Filed Under: Family Life

I learned the meaning of a new acronym SAHWM.   A blogger named Anna at In Honor Of Design used it in one of her posts.

SAHWM means “stay at home working mother.” I have three in my family–two daughters and a daughter-in-law; and they don’t have it any easier than I did, though I was a mostly an AFHWM “away from home working mother”. All three of my daughters either have businesses that they operate out of their homes, or they are bloggers. One does both. All three struggle to balance their child-rearing, work, and housekeeping.

IMG_6415.JPG Jamie, Tracy & January

 

I Was a AFHWM

By the way, I was not a SAHWM most of my child-rearing days; though, I did it for three years with my first child Jamie, who is in the top photo. I owned a florist, and she was there day in and day out as a toddler. During the first years, the florist was downtown; but I finally moved it into my home for the last year and a half.

My days were at least ten hour days, as florist work is long and demanding. I finally sold the florist and took a full-time job just to get back to regular hours and to make more money. We wanted to go on vacations and belong to the country club and play golf and tennis, so I felt I had to go to work.

At my new job I worked at the end of a 30-minute commute each way. The hours were 7.5 a day, but I made a good salary. I had sick leave and vacation leave and other good benefits. I kept the kids in daycare and enjoyed those precious kid-free hours away from arguing, crying, and general house wrecking.

Dinner was cooked as soon as I walked in the door. I house cleaned at night after the kids went to bed and got up an hour before anyone else to exercise and have a few minutes of peace and quiet while I enjoyed my breakfast. I lived on about six to seven hours of sleep a night for many years.

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Me and my girls, Tracy & Jamie

My commute was almost a meditation. I remember the solitude of my car. There was a point in the road halfway between Monticello and Tallahassee that held significance. On my way from work to home, I realized that I left the hassles of work behind by the time I reached that point. The opposite was the same. The pressures of home seemed to melt away going the opposite direction.

Finally, my kids entered those special years of teenage puberty; and I needed to be home more, so I worked jobs that allowed me to work from home. I was then a SAHWM. As they got older and began driving I went back to college, eventually getting my Ph.D.

So as you can see, I was the flip side of the SAHWM for most of my kids’ years at home.  I was a AFHWM, an “away from home working mother.”

We Are All WMs

Our commonality is that all of us are still WMs.  We are all working mothers.

I believe, though, that my mother had it the best. I grew up next to my grandmother, a wonderful role model and provider. My mom went to work full-time when I was about 3-4 years old, but I never went to daycare. My grandmother watched after me.

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Me and my Grandmother Roe

She home preschooled me. I can still remember the blackboard on her sleeping porch. She taught me my numbers, my abc’s, and how to tie my shoes before I ever got to kindergarten. I wish she had lived long enough to see me get my Ph.D.

She was super old fashioned having been born in the 1890s. She taught me etiquette and how to play in a dress without ever showing my panties. I’m sure I slipped up, but not without embarrassment if I knew it.

Yes, she even taught me guilt, something that I resented when I was younger because I thought it held me back. Now, though, I welcome it as a comfortable barometer–a good part of growing older I guess.

I never resented Mom’s work. We grew up knowing that her salary paid for vacations, dancing and piano lessons, cheerleading uniforms, 4-H camp, and much more.

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Pam, Mom & Me

So you see, I had the best of both worlds–two moms. Grandmother was my SAHWM, and mom was my AFHWM. Still, both of them were simply working mothers.

What kind of mother did you have, a SAHWM or an AFHWM? What role if any did your grandmother(s) play in your raising?  What kind of mother are you today?

The One Concealer That is Affordable and Travel Friendly

by Filed Under: Beauty

Are you always looking for the next best concealer?  Well, you certainly are not alone!

Ladies, I found a new concealer that covers well without being obvious. If you read my earlier posts, you remember that my favorite concealer up until now was made by Hard Candy and was called Glamoflauge Concealer by Hard Candy. I bought it through Wal-Mart. I still have a tube of it, though; because it is the best thing for covering some broken capillaries on my right thigh.

My new best friend, though, is made by L’Oreal; and you can probably find it at Wal-Mart, though I bought mine at CVS for about $8. It is called L’Oreal True Match Crayon Concealer. That’s right! It is a crayon, but it goes on so smoothly.

True Match Concealer

In fact, I just pat mine in. It glides easily over my under eye circles and hides the little barely-visible scars from my plastic surgery. No tugging on the delicate skin there. It covers beautifully without looking cakey. It comes in different shades, and I found one that matches me perfectly.

The My new BFF is also easily packable, as it is a short, chubby pencil. It fits in my purse, in my makeup bag, and anywhere else I need it to travel. It comes in a twist up design so you don’t need a sharpener. That means less to carry around.

Other Concealers

Most of the makeup crayons up until now haven’t been my favorite products, but I guess I need to go back and try some more. This concealer glides on so smoothly. Maybe, they’ve figured out the formula for blendability. Blendability? Is that a word? Probably not, but it fits what I’m trying to say here.

I’ve read some of the reviews from others, and some of them say it is not good for dry skin. I’m glad I bought mine before I read these particular reviews, because I may have never given it a try.

I go a long way to make sure I stay hydrated, so that may be why this concealer works so well for me. I also think the secret is in patting it in instead of rubbing. It covers well.

Love, love, love this product!  Oh, and just so you know. No one sent me a trial or is paying me for this post. When I find something I like, I just like to share the news.