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Search Results for: Pick up

The Real Truth About the Pickup Game

by Filed Under: Family Life

The pickup game is fondly remembered for its hours of unsupervised play.  Those halcyon days when we played outdoors until dark when we were expected to come back home for supper.

Every once in a while Chuck and I reminisce about how good we had it as youngsters.  Some of our best experiences were those without the intrusion of parents.  We both were allowed to experience life and freedoms that kids today don’t seem to have.

Chuck was raised in cities, like Richmond, Knoxville and Jacksonville; and I was raised in a small rural town in Florida. But both of us ran free.  We were just expected back home in time for supper; and if we were wandering out of our range, we had to check back first with our parents.

It was a wonderful sort of freedom.  We spent hours making our own forts in the woods, fishing in ponds, playing in pick up games, and just generally hanging out with the neighborhood kids.  Those were special times.

Chuck said that the pick up games are what he remembered most fondly.  The pick-up game is a game spontaneously started by a group of kids. Chuck said that the kids in his neighborhood knew that generally there would be a game going on when the kids were out of school.  Sometimes it was in a local park or a school playground within walking distance.

He said that there was no referee or adult present, so the kids made their own rules and refereed themselves.  The total number of players was always different with sometimes more than normal and sometimes less.  They played baseball, dodge ball, basketball, and football this way.

Kids were chosen for each team, and he remembers being chosen last and working harder to be chosen earlier in the lineup.  He said that he threw many a ball at a concrete wall in the neighborhood just to get more practice.
We did the same in my neighborhood in Monticello, but we did it in an old pecan grove across the street from my home.  A couple of the trees died, and we used the large open area to play.  There was always a gang of kids over there.

Children at play

Photo from Pixabay

I just read a rather long, but good article from a young woman who had the amazing opportunity of growing up in both the US and Estonia. She experienced two types of parenting cultures and talks about their differences. Chuck and I wondered if growing up in Estonia was a little like growing up in the 50s and 60s here in the US.

Read here what she had to say.  It is entitled “What Living in the USSR as a Kid Taught Me about Parenting.”

So how was it in your neighborhood?  Did you have helicopter parents or were they stealth parents like mine?  Mine were always there, but they just mostly watched from afar.

Super Simple Recipes for the Garden’s Bounty

by Filed Under: In the Kitchen

I’ve had a bumper crop of various vegetables from this year’s garden, and we gave away as much as we ate. Because some of these are new vegetables or vegetables I don’t often buy, I’ve had to come up with some new recipes.  You can read about the garden here.  Below are my favorite recipes.

Vinegared Cucumbers

The variety of cucumbers I planted is called “Jumbo”, and they got big. We prefer them, though, not quite so big so we harvested them a little smaller and more tender. The vines bloomed and produced now for almost two months. Those three vines gave us a bumper crop of cucumbers.  Maybe this is why my Grandmother Hamrick put up so many pickles.

So I wanted to try and replicate her vinegared cucumber recipe. Vinegar wakes up the flavor in foods, something I learned from my her. I can still see her in my mind’s eye pouring a little vinegar into her vegetables as she cooked.  She lived to be over 99.

Vinegar brightens up a dish. It cuts the richness of the food and wakes it up, making it taste fresh and flavorful. If a dish is dull or missing something, add a little vinegar, especially instead of more salt.

I remember her using a product named Accent and I made sure it was in my kitchen when I married, but as I grew older I realized that it was the vinegar that she added to so many dishes that made a difference. That was her secret.

There was no measurement. She just opened the bottle and poured a little into the pot. She cooked a lot of vegetables, and vinegar was always added. I just don’t remember what kind.

Vinegar comes in so many flavors. Rice wine vinegar is tart, while balsamic vinegar is sweet. Try balsamic vinegar on strawberries. It is yummy. If you serve strawberries in a salad, make sure you use a balsamic vinegarette dressing.

For my cucumbers, I use white wine vinegar. Here’s the recipe. No canning needed. These are kept in the frig, and must be eaten before they get soggy.

Peel your cucumbers, enough for your container. It needs to be a container with a lid that can be placed in the frig. Slice the cucumbers about an eighth of an inch thick and almost fill the container with them. Next, take a measuring cup and fill it with 1/3rd cup plus two tablespoons of white wine vinegar. Then add 2/3rds cup minus 2 tablespoons of water. Next, toss in a tablespoon of sugar and stir well. I also add salt and pepper at this stage. About a half teaspoon of each. Stir again.

Next pour the solution over the cucumbers. Make sure you cover the cucumbers. You may need to make more of the solution to cover them. Then place a lid on it, shake it up, and put it in the frig. It will be ready to eat in a few hours. It can sit in the frig until the cucumbers get soggy, but don’t wait that long to eat them. They are too good to let ruin.

Custard Beans

Another bounty from the garden has been a variety of wax beans called Custard Beans. I think if General Custer had had these beans at home, he might not have run off to that fateful meeting on Little Big Horn Creek.

This recipe is super simple. I snap off the ends and boil the bean pods in water with some salt until tender. Then pour off the water and place them still hot in a bowl with a pat of butter. Let it melt and then add some crushed whole wheat Ritz crackers and stir. Add some salt and pepper to taste.

Yum! These are the best beans I’ve ever eaten.

Peppers Aplenty

Jalapeño Poppers

We’ve been getting a lot of peppers, four different kinds. For the jalapeño peppers, we have been slicing them in half, removing the seeds, and filling the halves with a cream cheese mixture of cream cheese mixed with a little liquid smoke. Wrap each in a slice of bacon and hold with a toothpick. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes or more if needed.  I got the basic recipe from the Betty Crocker website which you can find here.

This makes a great appetizer, and not too spicy either. The cooking and cream cheese take care of the heat.

Stuffed Banana Peppers with Curry Chicken

For the banana peppers, I bought a bag of curried chicken and rice by evol. Then I cut the top out of each pepper being careful to remove the top while pulling out its seeds at the same time. Just circle the pepper below the hard part below the stem being careful not to cut through the center under the stem. Then pull. Much of the seeds will come out, but you can rinse out the rest of the seeds. Or you can leave them in.

Then carefully stuff each pepper with the curried chicken and rice mixture. I try to stuff them more with the small bits of chicken than just the rice and vegetables. Place the stuffed peppers in an oiled Casserole dish and add the rest of the mixture on top. Next, add small lumps of either paneer or cottage cheese on top and bake for 20 minutes at 375 degrees. This makes a great dish, and it is simple to make.  I’ve also used evol.’s Chicken Marsala.

I also stuff the bell peppers and tomatoes the same way, except I leave out the paneer. I remember my mother stuffing tomatoes with hamburger helper. The point is that you can use all types of pre-prepared frozen or even canned foods. I sometimes sprinkle bread crumbs on top of my stuffed tomatoes.

So there you have some of my favorite recipes for produce straight from the garden. You’ll notice that I didn’t give you exact measurements.

 

For years I always cooked exactly from the recipes, until about 15 years ago when I realized that I was unable to find recipes for several of my grandmother’s dishes. So I went experimenting, and the experience made me a better cook.

So what you have here are the ingredients and some instruction. Experiment and figure out the flavor you like best. You just about cannot mess these up, and you’ll become a better cook for it.

Grocery List

Cucumbers
White wine vinegar
Sugar
Salt
Pepper

Custard Beans
Butter
Ritz Crackers, whole-wheat
Salt
Pepper

Banana Peppers
Frozen Thai Style Curry Chicken by evol or another brand
Cottage Cheese or paneer

 

 

Please do share, because the garden is still producing. What recipes have you discovered for these vegetables? Do you remember your grandmother’s cooking? What was her secret ingredient?

What’s Better? Supervised Play or Unsupervised Play?

by Filed Under: Family Life

Did you know that the time that today’s children spend playing is far less than the time we spent at play? How can that be with so many overwhelmed mothers who spend their time running children from one event to the next?

Siblings Wrestling in the Grass When They Thought No One Was Looking

Meanwhile, in our schools, there is a decline in recess. And at home, there is an increase in screen time. Altogether, this means there is an overall decline in unsupervised play.
From time to time, my husband Chuck and I reminisce about our childhood experiences and compare them to those of our grandchildren. The one that we feel is the most different is playing outdoors unsupervised.
Neither of us would trade our experiences for our grandchildrens’. Not only do we see fewer children playing outdoors, but we also see that those who do are almost always involved in some sort of competitive, adult-supervised play.
T-Ball

We feel that outdoor play is important to the development of children, but we also think that unsupervised play is equally important.
I learned in October while at the Type-A Parents Blogging Conference that we are not alone in our beliefs. Researchers say that free play significantly improves kids’ problem-solving skills. Play is also one of the best ways to stimulate children’s brain development. Active kids are more likely to be active adults.
Girls Playing

But is free play the same as unsupervised play?
Chuck likes to talk about the traditional pickup game and how he feels it helped him develop into an independent adult. I wrote an earlier blog that described his experience. You can find it here.
I like to tell about my and my sister Pam’s imaginary world of playing house, using a stick to draw our homes in the dirt road driveway leading down to our home. They didn’t pave the driveway until I was much older.
Also, many of us in the neighborhood liked to play down in the woods behind our houses. We built forts and dammed the stream back there. Those were wonderful days, and there wasn’t an adult in sight for hours at a time.

Teenagers hanging out.

At the Conference, I found the expo a kiosk about a movement called, “The Genius of Play”. This is a national movement whose mission is to give families the information and inspiration to make Play an important part in every child’s day. You can read about it here.
Their research says that play is more than fun and games; it is essential for child development. Their mission is to “give families the information and inspiration needed to make play an important part in every child’s life.” It advises playing tips and ideas based on a kid’s age and developmental stages.
Since the conference, I found other groups with the same purpose, such as PortlandFamily.org and www.Care.Com.
The Genius of Play and the other groups feel that there are six key benefits of play that are crucial to healthy child development. I’ve taken the liberty to regurgitate what they said, melding it all together below.

Key Benefits of Play
1. Play Improves Cognitive Abilities – There are studies that show a correlation between outdoor play and a reduction in ADHD symptoms. Outdoor play requires children to use their brains in unique ways. Also, it helps them to incorporate concepts learned in the classroom.
They may have learned about the parts of an insect in school, but in the outdoors they can study an insect up close, by themselves, and experience it in a hands-on way where they can see it and touch it, bringing to life the lesson they learned at their school. My daughters used to bring me rolly pollys and would also let the little green lizards bite their earlobes and wear them as earrings until they let go. Scientists tell us that outdoor play also decreases anxiety.
Exploring New Ground

2. Play Hones Communication Skills–Unstructured play helps with honing our communication skills. Not everyone can be chosen first nor can everyone take a turn on the slide first. Kids who take part in unstructured play with each other learn these communication and behavioral skills on the playground.
They also learn to change and enforce their own rules. Chuck and I both were involved in unstructured, unsupervised play. His story is about the pickup game you heard about earlier. Mine, though, was in a big field across the road from my home. It was surrounded by houses, as we lived at the edge of a small town. Kids from the houses met in that field and played football, baseball, or whatever was in season. As a girl, I loved football the best. I think it had something to do with getting tackled by the boys.
3. Play Increases Creativity–Outdoor play helps children use all their senses, such as insects to see, rustling leaves to hear, freshly mown grass to smell, rabbit weed to taste, and acorns to touch and throw. TV only gives them hearing and seeing, and it can seriously affect their perceptual abilities.
For example, biking develops self-confidence and satisfies one’s exploratory interest, and playing outdoors provides opportunities for imaginative play. Children invent things like Pam and I used to do with the imaginary houses we created. And it was dirt that presented limitless opportunities to invent our world as we pleased.
Building Creativity

4. Play Increases the Ability to Process and Express Emotions – Remember how excited we all got when someone made a touchdown or someone jumped across a wide ditch. Well, this is how we learned to process and express our emotions. We were challenged by the other kids; and that was a good thing, because we learned how to cope.
5. Play Develops Physical Skills – Did you know that children who play outdoors have better distance vision? A study by Optometry and Vision Science found this to be true. Also, outside play is relaxing and destressing for children.
Research shows that third graders who get 15 plus minutes of recess a day are better behaved in school. Playing outdoors also helps kids develop muscle strength and coordination. For example, the simple act of swinging requires a child to engage all their muscles to hold on, balance, and coordinate their body to move back and forth. Skating requires balance, too.
Climbing Trees

6. Play Enhances Social Skills – Outdoor play requires kids to learn to get along with each other. Unchaperoned play requires it, too. It also helps kids gain self-confidence. Children invent rules and negotiate their way through play. This increases their creativity, intelligence, and negotiation skills—all social skills that we need to function in society.
But I would like to add a seventh benefit.
7. Play in the Outdoors Develops Good Health – Lots of children suffer from vitamin D deficiencies according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. This vitamin is important to future bone and heart health, but too much sun is a problem as well. My mother and I both made our kids come indoors during the hours of 10-2 p.m. Florida gets quite hot during the middle of the day anyway. But children need to play outdoors without sunscreen for some part of the day, and I don’t remember using sunscreen as a child at all unless we were swimming or out all day on the beach. I can remember playing outdoors without my shirt until I got to be about 6 or 7 years old. I believe outdoor play for children is vital to their good health.
So grandmothers, encourage your children to read this. They need to understand that unstructured play is as important as school and adult-supervised sports.
Nothing like a sprinkler on a hot summer’s day.

Kay Redfield Jamison, a psychologist noted for her work on bipolar disorder, says it best, “Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.”

An Update on the Book: Mary Hobnobs with Some Washington Elite

by Filed Under: Books, Genealogy, Palmetto Pioneers

About the book I’m writing, I apologize that you haven’t heard from me since late January.  Problem was, though, I got myself involved in the Family History Writing Challenge, which asked me to pledge how much I would write daily.  Since I’m a fast writer, I signed up for 500 words a day.  No problem writing that many words a day, but I did struggle with acquiring the needed research for the exercise.

By the end of February, I compiled 28 different scenes for the book.  However, the research still isn’t complete; and I’m sure I’ll have to rewrite every one of those scenes.

Also, each morning I received an email with suggestions on how to proceed.  These emails were entitled, for example, “How to Find Your Focus”, “Creating Your Authentic Ancestor”, and “How to Begin Your Story:  A Checklist”.  These emails were like workbook pages, and I was unable to go through the exercises that quickly.  So this past month I’ve been going back to each of these emails and filling out the information.  This exercise has been so helpful.

One of the exercises required some thought into the process of naming the book.  It strongly encouraged picking out a name, even if I plan to change it in the future.  So I picked out a temporary name.  I chose this name because Mary came to Florida from the South Carolina low country southwest of Charleston near the Little Salkhatchee River.  South Carolina is also known as the palmetto state.  The family moved to Jefferson County in Florida and settled west of the Aucilla River, an area where palmettos grow thick, especially on the river’s flood plain.  They arrived there around 1828, so they were Florida pioneers.  From here on I will refer to the book as the “Palmetto Pioneers”.

Oak Hammock with a Palmetto Floor

Oak Hammock with a Palmetto Floor

Hopefully, I will do better at keeping everyone posted more often.

Below is another scene from the book–a first draft.  First, though, here is a little information to give a little setting.

One reason I chose Mary for my main character was because of her station in life, which changed dramatically when she married.  As mentioned earlier, she was raised the daughter of a South Carolina/Florida planter/cattleman.  Her family settled in the wilderness in eastern Jefferson County.  She had lived in Florida since she was six years old.

Mary married, though, the son of a Washington, DC merchant.  William Andrews had joined the army with his friend Robert Gamble when they were both in their earlier 20s.  Robert Gamble and William first came to Florida to fight Indians in the 1820s, but they went back to Washington, DC/Baltimore, married and later returned to Florida with their families to settle.

William’s spouse died and left him with four children.  That is when he married Mary, whose family lived nearby.  Mary and William’s first years were spent living near her father, but by the mid 1850s they had moved into Monticello where William became a sheriff of Jefferson County.

Below is a scene from when they lived in Monticello.  We know that they lived near the Cuthbert’s house which was next door to the Episcopal church.  Today, the Cuthbert’s house is the house where the attorney Mike Reichman used to practice law.  It is still standing.

The scene is a first draft, and it is meant to reflect the differences in the ladies, including Mary and her guests.  Robert Gamble’s wife Letitia and her niece Laura come to visit Mary.  Laura’s complaints are authentically hers.  In real life she kept a diary, and this is what she thought of the area.  Here is how it goes.

 

Mary listened to Laura Randall complain and kept silent. She couldn’t quite understand why the woman was so unhappy. “Mary, I don’t know how you and your family stood it all those years. The mosquitoes scarcely retire in the morning before the yellow flies begin. This is certainly the country for studying entomology. There is an infinite variety of insects.”

Laura Randall was wearing a gown of lilac cotton trimmed in burgandy. It was beautiful, and Mary had never seen one so beautiful up so close. No one from where she lived out in the country dressed like this. She knew that Laura’s father was federal Attorney General William Wirt and that Laura’s family was from Baltimore.

All of this was so new and so very interesting. All the talk from William about these big cities and their beautiful buildings. The information spun around in her head like the setting of a fairy tale, and yet here was one of the fairy tale princesses sitting right here in her living room.

Mary looked around her and was immediately embarrassed. Her living room was sparsely appointed with four wooden chairs, a fireplace, a desk where William worked at home and a small table where she kept her sewing.  In one corner was a weave, and on the floor was a new woven rug that she had made herself.  Laura was obviously used to much better than this, and yet this was so much roomier and better than what Mary was used to having.

Laura continued “and there is not a piece of rope to be had in this place, but what we really need is a tavern. Just yesterday five men rode up to our door and gave their horses to the servant as if he were an hostler of an Inn. Then they walked right in to breakfast, which was just ready; and we had to make room at the table.”

She shook her head and added, “They had all stayed the night before at Colonel Gadsden’s, riding up at nine o’clock just when the family was going to bed. I really think our neighborhood would do well to support a tavern for these intruders.”

Letitia Gamble added, “I thought a lot of that had stopped. I guess we are too far off the main road now.” Letitia, as if she knew what was on Mary’s mind said, “I do remember though how hard it was in those early days after we first arrived. The house at Welaunee was a double log cabin, daubed with mud and surrounded by dead trees. We finally replaced it moving farther away from the road, and though this land was difficult at first, we finally learned to adapt. Robert was certainly never disappointed. He loved it from the first time he laid eyes on it.”

Then Laura said, “Well, I have to admit that it finally grew on me, too.  I do love my garden, and thank goodness we started butchering cattle and hogs and learned to share with others so the meat never spoils. This seems to always put good meat on the table.”

Mary remembered what William had told her about these families, that they were all raised high on the hog, and they didn’t seem to know what to do or how to live in such difficult surroundings. Laura added, “I even learned how to make beer, thanks to you Aunt Letitia.”

Letitia said, “I guess if there is one good thing about this country, it is that it made us all realize the importance of sharing and taking care of each another. One can afford to be an individualist when one is wealthy and live near the finer things of life, but out here with only ourselves and nature, it is an entirely different situation. One must learn to share and to rely on others.”

Laura was looking off in the distance. “Laura, a penney for your thoughts?” said Mary.

Laura looked back at her Aunt Letitia. “Do you remember when I had to nurse your Cecily.” Letitia smiled at her neice, “I sure do.”

She turned to Mary, “That was something unheard of where we’re from, but now we know that it is a commonplace thing down here.” I was depending on a milch cow to feed Cicily, and Laura was visiting. Well, anyway, that afternoon we discovered that the milk supply had spoiled, and Cicily was screaming and wouldn’t stop. Laura, here, just said, ‘Give me Cicily’, and she disappeared. The crying stopped. I knew right then that this country was going to be totally different from anything we had ever witnessed.”

Laura added, “The last time I went to visit mama in Baltimore, we had to take along two milk goats to help me nurse Jonathan. Those goats sure didn’t like that ship and the bleating was horrible.”

 

So there you have a brief scene from the book.  It will change a lot over the next few weeks.  The transitions from one person to the other need a lot of rewriting, which will help the reader follow who is talking.  Each of these characters will be fleshed out so one gets a better picture of what they look like and how they are expected to act.

 

 

An Update on My Nutrition Lifestyle Change

by Filed Under: Health, Nutrition & Diet

As many of you know, I made a lifestyle change back in February.  I needed to lose about eight pounds, and someone told me about a book called, “The Skinny Rules”.  I embraced it and lost all eight pounds in less than two weeks.  I have since been using the rules I learned to maintain my weight.  I’ve blogged about some of the simple, but very successful rules like drinking water.

Well, I would like to share with you another great rule that has become a part of my life.  I’m talking about the chapter, “Eat Your Vegetables–Just Do It.”

Image

I love fruit and vegetables, and this is a good thing because we’re learning every day about the health benefits of a healthy diet.  We also know now that variety is as important as the quantity we eat.  USDA encourages us to eat plenty–at least five portions a day.

So, I love vegetables now, but this was not always the case.  As a child I was known as the “picky” eater in my family.  Mom used to say, “Ann’s afraid she might get a vitamin.”   I was that little kid in the cartoon who stood by his first planted garden and upon seeing the cabbage, broccoli and carrots said, “I never thought my seeds would turn on me like this”.

The health benefits of vegetables and fruits are massive.  A diet rich in fruits and vegetables can lower blood pressure, reduce risk of heart disease and stroke, prevent some types of cancer, lower risk of eye and digestive problems, and have a positive effect upon blood sugar which can help keep appetite in check.  All of these attributes are important as we age.

Also, vegetables when prepared correctly are low in calories, which brings me to how I was raised to cook vegetables.   Good southern vegetables are not necessarily low in calories.  They are wonderfully laced with bacon drippings, ham hocks, and all kinds of fatty wonders.

Image

“The Skinny Rules” showed me another way to cook my vegetables.  It included recipes on how to roast several different kinds of veggies, and it had weeks of menus prepared which gave me an opportunity to eat up to nine portions of fruits and vegetables daily.

Roasting vegetables in a very hot oven gives them a caramelized exterior, and it adds a burst of flavor while keeping the inside moist and tender. This showy cooking method easily feeds a crowd or just a couple, and it lets you choose the vegetables. It is easy, but a little time consuming, so once a week I roasted three or four vegetable dishes, stored them in the refrigerator, and ate on them for the remainder the week.  They keep well in the refrigerator; and Harold loved them, too.

Here’s are others related changes that I made.  I keep some fruit and vegetables where I can see it. I’m more likely to eat it, plus many like tomatoes taste better if they are never refrigerated.

I tried new products. Variety is the key, and I like to try new things. I discovered Jerusalem Artichokes doing this. Just google to see if roasting is a possibility. Some vegetables roast better than others, but most vegetables will do.

Here is some basic information.  Roast your vegetables at high heat, about 450 degrees.  This way, they will caramelize on the outside. This adds to the taste.  Just line the pan with foil.  It helps with the cleanup.  Toss the vegetables with olive oil and lemon juice.  This will keep them from drying out, and it adds to the flavor.  Add some herbs, such as thyme, rosemary, oregano, or sage.  I google to see which herbs go best with which vegetables. Don’t crowd the vegetables in the pan.

Image

Betty Crocker bhg.com has a good page for this,  Roast about 30 minutes turning or stirring at least once.  This is so simple to do,  love it!  And I love the flavor too.

Image

Now back to “The Skinny Rules”.   Here’s the best part of all!

I was literally unable to eat all the vegetables I was allowed to eat.  Not enough room in my tummy.

Is this the Day and Month that will be on your Tombstone?

by Filed Under: Family Life

Just about this time of November, I find myself making note of the days on my calendar—of days long gone. Somehow, November hangs in the balance, because several dates hold special memories, both happy and sad.

November 1st is my mother-in-law’s birthday. Dody was special and if she were still alive, she would now be 105. We called her the energizer bunny. She had amazing energy right on up until she passed at the age of 93. I can still hear her say, “And that is all I am going to say about that.”

Between Dody’s birthday and Veteran’s Day, my mind turns to the veterans in my family. I never got to meet my granddaddy Roe, because he was killed in an accident four years before I was born; but there is a banner hanging downtown to honor his service during World War I. There is also one for my dad, who I lost on November 13 in 2003, due to pancreatic cancer. Daddy served in the Korean War.

There is a new banner on the courthouse square this year to honor my Grandmother Roe’s brother Duff Smith. Uncle Duff and Aunt Eva had only one child who died at birth, and they were never able to have any more. They left my dad and my uncle their farm, so this year we made sure his banner was added. He served in World War I in some of the worst fighting in the trenches of France.

Next year, we will add Chuck’s father’s banner. He never lived in Monticello, but his son Chuck does. Charlie Littlejohn participated in the second wave on Omaha Beach during the Normandy Invasion. Chuck was born during that invasion in 1944. I never met my father-in-law, because he passed away just as Chuck and I began dating over 35 years ago.

November 11 quickly turns into November 13, the day my dad died, and with it come my own thoughts of mortality. This year, I’ve pondered which day will be my death day.

Think about it! One of those 365 days will forever be your death month and day. Will it be November 15 or March 18? Or it will be December 25th! Every day of the year has a 1 in 365 chance of being the month and day on your tombstone. I try not to dwell too much on that one.

My next special date in November is the 16th, the month and day my parents married. I was their first born and probably you could find my essence that day somewhere behind my mother’s smile. I was born two years after their marriage.

Finally, the month culminates in Thanksgiving. Christmas might have been my favorite holiday when I was a child, but as an adult, I treasure Thanksgivings more. My memories overflow with decades of wonderful family get-togethers—of mama, Aunt Sandra, and grandmother Hamrick preparing a feast for a king. All three women were fabulous cooks! I can still smell the wonderful aroma of my grandmother’s chicken and rice.

My memories overflow with family stories, laughter, and pick up games like the Gobbler Bowl at the high school football field, where the entire town showed up. The Sunday after Thanksgiving, at the baptist church days later, the auditorium was full of injured church goers—broken bones and sprained limbs.

And all through the month, football reigned supreme. My high school then was one of the winningest football teams in Florida. I always thought it was due to the watermelon fields where the boys worked during the summer. It made a great weight room.

November was always a special month in this household, and now it holds so many memories. I now live in the house in which I was raised.

Thankfully, I learned early how to count my blessings, and by doing so I now lean on those wonderful blessings and let the sad parts go.

I feel fortunate that I was brought up to believe in a higher being and to lean on his everlasting arms! Through thick and thin, something inside of me holds stead when times go low.

And I can’t help wondering if this may be the reason so many young people give up today and take their lives. Are there correlations between family, spiritual teachings, and their happiness and ability to cope. Have they learned to depend on themselves more and do they have someone else to depend on when things spin out of their control?

But that is all I have to say about that!

Everyone Listen: Here’s Why I Must Say Goodbye

by Filed Under: Family Life

It is with a heavy heart that I must discontinue posting to my blog; why I must say goodbye.  I find that I have less and less time for this endeavor as Chuck’s condition continues to decline.

If you remember, a little more than a year ago I posted a description of my initial reactions to Chuck’s diagnosis of mild cognitive impairment.  You can read about it here.  

We entered into a long line of tests feeling confident that they would find an answer to his short-term memory problem, a diagnoses that could be reversible.  We were wrong.  It appears Chuck is part of the 65% who worsens over time.

 At the time I thought I could continue the blog and maybe even share moments of our life with all of you. I even thought it might be therapeutic.

But I was wrong on so many levels.  As Chuck’s condition deteriorates, I have less and less time for the blog, book, the garden, or any other hobbies that I had.  It’s time to say goodbye.

 

One Wild Ride

It has been a wild ride.  He completely stopped paying bills back around Christmas of last year, and it was a relief at the time because I never knew whether all the bills were getting paid or not.  Since then I have had to pick up that chore myself. For the first time in 30 years I’ve had to sit down and pay bills.  On the bright side I haven’t had to worry about our finances in a very long time.

On the other hand when things break, I no longer have him to depend upon.   In fact the situation has reversed and is worse than ever.  He still thinks he can fix it. 

For example, a few weeks ago one of the toilets at the coast malfunctioned.  We don’t stay there all the time, and we noticed an odor each time when we arrived—an odor that disappeared after a short while.  Then a couple of weeks ago we arrived but this time the odor did not disappear right away.   Instead Chuck flush the toilet and water poured out of the seal just above the floor.  

We immediately called the plumber but it was Friday afternoon and the plumber could not get to us until Monday.  We decided not to use the toilet until he came. He told us that the toilet had been re-sealing itself after each long period of non use until finally the gap got so large that it released water.

However on that Saturday Chuck called me into that bathroom and proudly announced that he fixed the toilet.  He had a bucket of water and had taken the lid off of the back of the toilet whereupon he demonstrated how he could pour the water into the tank and then lift the bulb to flush the toilet.  I tried to explain that this wasn’t the problem but he would have none of it so convinced was he.  I’m learning to just agree and move on.  By that afternoon, he broke the bulb off.

The next Monday I had a doctor’s appointment and was away when another plumber came who did not know exactly what was wrong with the toilet. So he fixed the broken bulb and left without fixing the seal. I had to call the plumber back to fix the original problem.

Two Steps Forward and One Step Back

This is my life now, one step forward and two steps back.  And now Chuck is having fender benders—at least five that we know of in the past several weeks. Two totaling almost $5,000. He is having a driving assessment. Meanwhile we have to try to keep him out of the car…and the boat. 

He is angry about it because he doesn’t understand. He keeps telling us that he feels fine and that nothing is wrong and that we are all blowing this out of proportion.  Yesterday he angrily accused us of treating him like a child.  

Time to Reorganize

And so my time is consumed by phone calls, appointments, and general minutia.  It is time for me to re-organize my life so that I begin to have more time for Chuck as well as myself.  I also have to realize that I cannot do it all.

So I won’t be posting anything new and will probably not continue updating any of the old posts as I have been doing since the first of the year.  I will keep the website up and I may give everyone an update from time to time but nothing will be regular.  For now I owe it to my sweet, sweet Chuck to try to maintain calm and carry-on the best that we can, to bask in the fleeting golden moments of time together.

It has been a wonderful five years writing to you. Thank you to everyone for all the supportive comments and feedback and all the best to each of you.  I may be back when life changes again, but for now it is goodbye.

Why It is Important to Understand Frailty—Part 2

by Filed Under: Health

Earlier I did a blog post about how our bodies begin to lose muscle mass while we are in our 30s and that loss of muscle mass is how we become frail as we age.  You can read it here.

This is part 2 of the two-part post on frailty. In the first part we discussed the definition of frailty, how it affects us as we age, and the very important symptom of muscle mass loss. In this part, we’ll talk more about muscle mass, what to look for, and how to reverse its loss. We will also discuss how doctor’s measure frailty.

What I’m Doing Now

As mentioned in part 1, the primary treatment for loss of muscle mass is exercise, mostly resistance training or strength training, so I joined a gym and bought weights for my home.  If I failed to make it to the gym, I tried to lift weights at home in the evening.

I also tried to increase muscle strength and endurance by other means, such as carrying bags of grocery instead of using a cart and by unloading them myself instead of asking for help.  I tried to pick up my own bags of fertilizer, straw bales, etc. when gardening.

The other night I moved my own furniture like I used to do.  I compete with my husband to handle my own luggage.  He’s always worried I’ll hurt my back. I try to take stairs and ride my bike twice a week on the hills of Tallahassee.

At the next appointment, Dr. Emhof noticed an increase in muscle mass in my arms and chest, but I was still lacking from the waist down.  I had to do all this and do at least four exercises just for my hips and thighs.  Finally, my legs responded.  Dr. Emhoff is pleased, and I don’t have to go see him every three months now.

But Frailty is More Than Muscle Loss

Our fifties trigger lots of problems. When we get to our fifties, the risk of heart disease increases along with problems such as cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes.  If you are a smoker, this is when it really catches up with you, holding your body back from repairing itself as it did in the past.

Degrees of Frailty

Remember the discussion earlier about how frailty increases about the time we get to be 75?  That downward spiral accelerates if we don’t begin to worry about our muscle mass and our heart by our fifties.

Doctors Use An Index to Determine How Frail We Are

So frailty is when we have many things wrong with us. When your doctor notices this, a geriatric assessment is made and he counts the number of things we have wrong or the number of deficits. It shows how fit or frail we are. There is a frailty index to help them determine to what extent one is frail.

The medical community measures frailty several ways, but two stand out.

Fried et al in “Frailty in Older Adults: Evidence for a Phenotype” defines frailty as an imbalance of the “physiologic triad” of sarcopenia, immune, and neuroendocrine regulation. The latter is a big word, but our nervous system and our endocrine system work together to regulate the physiological processes of our body, otherwise known as homeostasis. It regulates reproduction, energy utilization, blood pressure, our metabolism, and much more.

Using this index, patients are considered frail if they have three or more of the following:

• Reduced activity; maybe even a slower gait

• Slowing of mobility

• Weight loss, such as an unintentional loss of ten pounds or more during the past year

• Diminished handgrip strength

• Exhaustion

Someone who has only one or two of these items is said to be “pre-frail”; someone with none is said to be “robust”. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t plan to get anywhere near my doctor when I’m having a bad back day.

The assessment takes about fifteen minutes.

Another way to measure is The Frailty Index which is based on the concept that frailty is a consequence of interacting physical, psychological, and social factors. It was developed by Dr. Kenneth Rockwood and Dr. Arnold Mitnitski at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Frailty Index (FI) = (number of health deficits present) ÷ (number of health deficits measured. These deficits include diseases, signs, symptoms, laboratory abnormalities, cognitive impairments, and disabilities in activities of daily living.

As these deficits accumulate, people become more vulnerable to unfavorable outcomes. In short, this frailty index is based on a comprehensive geriatric assessment. It includes functional dependencies as deficits, such as say the patient needs help dressing.

My Cousin

I have a cousin, an octogenarian, who took to her chair and later her bed due to rheumatoid arthritis. She looked as if a puff of wind could blow her over.  Her gait was slow and unsteady, and later she hardly rose from her chair. On my last visit she took to her bed–never getting up again. Hers was a classic case of frailty.

So as you can see and as I learned, the word frail means so much more.  It is important to realize that the whole person is in a process of aging, and it is a very dynamic process.  Some of us will be helped by knowing and will try to keep ourselves from going farther down the index.

For all the rest of us.  It is good to remember what one doctor said–that there seems to be a natural order of life. When we are well, we walk around a lot. And when we get sick, we move around less.

When we really get ill, we may take to our bed. And at some point, we might not get out. And finally just before we die, we hardly move at all.

Another doctor noted that people fail in predictable ways.

Confessions of a Woman Who Wears Hearing Aids

by Filed Under: Health, It's Not For Sissies

Not many people know it, (and now everyone will), but I occasionally wear hearing aids.

Not for everyday use, but for when I am in a crowded situation where people have to talk and listen to each other.

I got my hearing aids about two years before I retired, and I’ve been retired a little over three years now.

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A Pixabay Photo

Why Hearing Aids

I noticed that I struggled to hear everyone, especially in a meeting with 15 to 25 people sitting around a large table or in a noisy restaurant. It was imperative at the time that I be able to hear the conversations in order to respond, in order to do my job; but I was losing that ability.

Since then I’ve learned that anyone older than 45 has a one in five chance of suffering some degree of hearing loss. That increases to one in three by the age of 65. By 75, it is one in two. All of this is according to the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders.

I finally went to see an audiologist to have my hearing checked. She put me in a booth and asked if I could hear an entire range of frequencies. Finally, I was fitted for a pair of hearing aids, and my hearing aids were ordered.

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A Pixabay Photo

I learned that my hearing loss was in both ears, although my right one is worse than the left.

Two Types of Hearing Loss

Most hearing loss is sensorineural or caused by damage to the tiny hair cells that line our inner ears. These cells convert sound waves into electrical signals for our brains to decipher into meaningful sounds.

Aging plays an important role, but so could exposure to loud noises. Other reasons can be medications, illnesses, and a family history of hearing loss.

My Grandfather Gillespie lost his hearing as a child due to a childhood disease. All he could hear using hearing aids was vibrations. He used them and lip reading to understand us.

Sensorineural hearing loss is usually not reversible, but using hearing aids can help by selectively amplifying sounds. My hearing loss falls in this category. I shot guns for most of my life, first hunting with my father and later being a part of a Trap and Skeet League for competition.

We were encouraged to wear hearing protection, and required to do so during training and competition; but being young, immortal, and basically stupid, I ditched the requirement as soon as I was away from the referees. I shot a shotgun right handed and my biggest hearing loss is in my left ear, which is normal for a right-handed shooter.

I also loved my rock and roll loud. And I think you get the point.

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A Pixabay Photo

The other type of hearing loss is conductive. It occurs as a result of a physical blockage or malformation of the middle or outer ear. Something like impacted earwax or a fluid buildup from infection can block sound from reaching the inner ear. Most of the time this type of hearing loss is reversible.

Is Sensorineural Hearing Loss Reversible

The answer is no. I found out that once the hair cells in my inner ear were dead, there was no bringing them back. My hearing aids were fine-tuned to match my specific hearing-loss. I did not pay, though to have them syned wirelessly with my smartphone. They were expensive enough without this feature.

Mine is a mini-behind-the-ear model. It has a receiver in the ear canal. It attaches to the ear via a thin wire and an earmold or piece of soft material made to fit snugly in the ear and to channel sound. I find it comfortable and barely visible even with my short hair.

The only drawback is that wax buildup does occur on the earmold. I simply remove most of it with my fingers. This type of hearing device works best with my problems for hearing higher frequencies. The earpiece allows some sound in, which is good because I do not need help hearing the lower frequencies. Thankfully, I must have not turned the bass up on my car radio.

Buying Hearing Aids

Most insurance does not cover hearing aids. In the US Medicare Advantage, though, may cover them.

My aids came with a contract that allowed me to return them and get most of my money back if I was not satisfied. Ask about economy hearing aids and ask your provider to compare your performance on speech-in-noise tests using both a premium aid and an economy aid. Also ask your provider to check if your health insurance policy will pay. Some of you may even have a homeowner’s policy that will pay. Check yours.

See if your audiologist carries more than a few brands. It won’t hurt to ask for a lower-priced model. You can also ask for a price break by negotiating a lower price.

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A Pixabay Photo

Costco offers free screenings at select locations, and their prices are competitive. Did you know that 16 percent of all Americans buy their hearing aids from Costco? Certain Costco stores have an on-site audiologist or hearing specialist.

Buying aids online can help you save, too. I didn’t go this route, though, because I wondered how the adjustment phase would go. I also wondered if I would have to find a local hearing specialist to help me.

There are organizations that may offer help–governmental, state or independent groups like the Lions Club.

Finally, it is possible that the US Congress may help. According to a New York Times article Congress is considering an “over the counter” option. It reads, “That, at least, represents the future envisioned by supporters of the Over-the-Counter Hearing Aid Act of 2017, which would give the Food and Drug Administration three years to create a regulatory category for such devices and to establish standards for safety, effectiveness and labeling.” If this passes, the marketplace should kick in and prices could drop as low as say $300 per ear.

How Often Do I Wear Mine?

Now that I’m retired, I don’t use my hearing aids as often; but they stay in my purse, waiting for when I do need them. Normally, I get them out in noisy restaurants or when a person’s voice is at a frequency that I can’t hear well. I’ve gotten really quick at inserting them. I do it publicly and most people don’t notice; or if they do, they do not inquire.

 

I am also super careful about my hearing now. I don’t wear my hearing aids to concerts or to watch TV. For concerts, I wear good quality ear plugs. Guess what? They play the music so loud that I can hear them just fine. Amazing! I also make sure I wear protection when I work with firearms, as I still do from time to time.

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A Pixabay Photo

Here’s what I’ve noticed most about wearing my hearing aids. I get a lot of background noise that I’m not used to hearing. It’s amazing what sounds I pick up that I never noticed I lost. With my type of hearing loss it is the metallic sounds that I no longer hear well.

Also, if all the noise in a room is coming from one side, I only put a hearing aid in the other ear. I find that I can hear people better that way. Most hearing aids cannot completely remove background noise and allow you to hear people selectively. I guess you can surmise that using hearing aids is different for everyone.

Love the Quietness of Growing Old

There’s actually a positive side to hearing loss. My own has created an atmosphere that is overall quieter. I have to admit that I’m more comfortable without my hearing aids, but like the other day when I was at lunch with a table full of former lobbyists, I quickly realized I was having trouble understanding people so I got them out and inserted them in my ears. I could hear everyone just fine.

In closing there is a Hearing Aid Buying Guide that I found helpful. You can find it here. Good old ‘Consumer Reports’does it again. I’ve turned to them for help with all manner of our purchases.

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A Pixabay Photo

Morning at the Fair: A Sweet Spot for Retirees

by Filed Under: It's Not For Sissies

Want to go somewhere that is fairer, where it is entertaining and fun, where there is an older crowd much like you, where it is not crowded, where it is not expensive, and where we get to feel young again? Well, Chuck and I recently stumbled on just such an experience.

We spent Valentine’s Day at the Florida State Fair, but I think I need to explain the logistics. Because we found just the right time to go.

I worked for many years with the agricultural community, and over those years I probably went to the Florida State fairgrounds more than a dozen times for meetings and for the Agricultural Hall of Fame induction banquets.

In all those years, I never went beyond those meetings out into the midway. For the induction banquets, I walked in and walked back out afterward. For the meetings, the fair was always closed.

I even got a tour of Cracker Country one time when it was closed. I remember being told that I needed to come back when the characters in period costumes were there.

Fast forward to this year. Chuck and I were going to the Hall of Fame banquet again because my nominee was chosen, and Chuck had two of his Florida Land Council members chosen.

The banquet this year was on Valentine’s Day; but instead of dropping in and leaving, we came down a day early and really go the fair.

I loved the fair as a young person. I always loved the livestock barns and other competitions. I used to pick up pecans to pay my way.  Dad built our home in a pecan grove.   Mom and Dad always took me to the fair and paid admission; but if I wanted to spend money on other things, I had to pick up pecans.

I remember how crushed I would be when the market fell just as the pecans were ready. Also, when I was in my mid 20s I chaired the Arts and Crafts portion of our regional fair in Tallahassee.

But we quit going to the fair many years ago when our kids became teenagers. As a teenager, I remember when it wasn’t cool to continue going with your parents. So I wasn’t surprised when they no longer needed us to take them to the fair. Chuck and I just quit going, and the thought of the crowds made me not want to go as I got older.

So this Valentine’s Day, I got to go to the fair with my date; and we had a great time. We got there at 10 am when the gates opened. It was wonderfully uncrowded.

We casually strolled taking in all the sights and sounds. The fairgrounds were clean and neat, and this is a testament to the great staff of the fair’s executive director Cheryl Fulford Flood, who grew up on a cattle ranch over in Polk County.

Florida State Fair

First stop for us was the Craftsmen’s Marketplace. Chuck quickly started holding tighter to his wallet. Unfortunately, not tight enough. He bought red-skin peanuts from Virginia, and I bought sea salt scrub from the Dead Sea. I hit bonanza, though, when he bought me a beautiful 14 karat gold filled bracelet for Valentine’s Day. It was handmade by a man from New Hampshire.

Then we strolled down to Cracker Country, but got sidetracked by a trip to see the Arts and Crafts competitions. Loved the paintings, photography, flowers, furniture making, you name it.

Of course, I was drawn to the painting on the turkey feather.

Embroidery was my forte, and I still have in my cedar chest what I made back in my 20s that took first place at the North Florida Fair, so I enjoyed seeing what was Tampa’s best of show.

There was also a special exhibit on the history of candy, and Chuck bought those horrible horehound drops that one can only find every now and then…fortunately.

A Quick Concert

Outside, we heard a band playing, and we quickly investigated, taking a seat in the bleachers at the Tampa Bay Times Stage. The band was great, and within minutes it was standing room only.

Florida State Fair

The Tampa Bay Times Bandstand

Dennis Lee and his band, mostly from Nashville except for the lady fiddler from Lakeland, did a great job of working the audience mostly full of retiree couples just like us. That is when we realized that this was our crowd.

Florida State Fair

The last few times I went to the fair, it was in the evening, but what Chuck and I realized was that the daytime is “our” time. It is a sweet spot for seniors. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. The experience was nothing like going in the evening when the crowds of kids jostle you all about.

We stopped to eat at the Jerk Shack and had a heaping, enough for two, helping of Curried Chicken, boiled cabbage cooked like my Mama’s, and fried plaintains. At $10 for both of us, it was great.  I think I got the name right, but it is located directly across the street from Cracker Country.

We shared the meal. Restaurants serve such big portions, that we always order like this and are seldom disappointed. Plus the Jerk Shack had a shaded table next to them where we relaxed and ate lunch. The couple running the shack were very accommodating and friendly.

Cracker Country

Afterwards, we crossed the street and visited Cracker Country. Cracker Country was the dream of one of Chuck’s Land Council members named Senator Doyle Carlton, Jr.   Long since passed away, this wonderful old cattleman, politician, gentleman, and son of a Governor wanted to make sure that Floridians didn’t forget their history.

We loved visiting the old Okahumpka railroad station, built in the 1880s…

Cracker Country

Cracker Country

And the early 1900s school house.

Cracker Country

In them are volunteers dressed in period costumes to bring the whole experience alive.  The telegraph operator had interesting stories about his job.

Cracker Country

Inside are all kinds of displays.

Cracker Country

Settled in the canopied shade of an old oak hammock (probably called a grove for you non-Floridians), Cracker Country is a wonderful place to stroll, listen to a blue grass band,

Cracker Country

or maybe even buy some ‘log hogs’.  No, we didn’t.  I distracted Chuck and got us through there as quickly as possible.

Cracker Country

Chuck and I especially loved the Hall of Governor’s. There is a painting of each Govenor of Florida from the first territorial Governor Andrew Jackson to today’s Governor Rick Scott. I’m a Florida history buff so I added my own thoughts to what made them famous, such as how Gov. Fuller Warren gave us Florida’s first fencing laws and how I once saw Gov. Bryant from the back of a whistle-stop train platform, the last Florida governor to campaign this way.

Cracker Country

Hall of Governors

We also made a stop by the Agriculture Hall of Fame, where so many of those men and women who we had the pleasure of working with, are memorialized.

Chuck and I had a wonderful day at the fair. We left by 4 pm, because it was time to go back to the hotel to change for the banquet. Besides, it was a good time to leave anyway. The crowds were thickening.

The Mooternity Ward

We finished our fair exploration with a visit to the Mooternity Ward, where we got to see all the farm babies.

Florida State Fair

It was a great day. We plan to do it again next year, and maybe even ride some rides. Both of us want to go back and ride the new 155-foot tall Ferris wheel!

Best of all, though, admission was only $9 per senior person. What a deal.

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