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Movie Review: “The Way We Were” 43 Years Later

May 22, 2016 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Movies, Opinion 6 Comments

As a young woman of 19 in the 1973, this classic movie was one of my favorites.  I lusted after Robert Redford anyway, after all he was already the Sundance Kid; but nothing quite quickened my senses like Robert Redford in a Naval uniform sitting in a bar.  You just had to see the scene.

I saw the movie several times; but not in the past 15-20 years, so I decided to order it on Netflix.  Many see this movie as a chick flick, but I believe they overlook its depth.

My feelings about the movie are still the same, but they have deepened as now I’m a later middle-aged, if not a younger  elderly woman with different feelings and emotions.  My dear ladies, this movie is far deeper than I remembered.

I remembered that it was a classic romance of boy meets girl, boy marries girl and…well the rest would be a spoiler so I’ll leave it out in case you never saw the movie.  I was most moved by the difference in their look on life and the fact that they looked beyond this and became soul mates.

The real difference, though, is how I look at this movie now.  I now feel that it is right up there with some of the older classics such as “Casablanca” or “Gone With The Wind”. Surrounding this romance is college before WWII, the war itself (though it plays a very small roll), and those halcyon years after the war.

You get a peak at McCarthyism, and the role it played in the lives of those in Hollywood.  You get a peak at those moments before the war, when young people on America’s college campuses were either swimming easily through college or swimming upstream against war sentiment.

The backdrop, though, plays second fiddle to the magnanimity of the two stars, Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand.  They are cast perfectly, and there are some wonderful tender moments as well as strident breakups that they both play perfectly.  He’s a beautiful, good looking WASP; and she initially plays the part of a wall flower Jewish girl with bad hair. She’s strong, though; and he is never sure how to handle it, though that is what attracted him to her, initially.

I also have to admit that I’m much more conservative now than I was in the 1970s.  I still get on my soapbox about issues that I feel important and some of them are social, but there is a part of me that realizes that life is too short to argue all the time.  I also realize that sometimes we need to relax and enjoy each other and life in general.  Barbra’s character is the flip side of this.

I didn’t notice it as much then, but I do now.  I guess as I matured I realized that there is always a cause for negotiating and pushing, but one can overdo it.  I think Ronald Reagan may have helped me understand this better than anyone.  

I was afraid to vote for him in the late 1970s, but I did it anyway.  I was so tired of seeing the entire country bickering over so much.  I felt that we needed a change in leadership though I was a Democrat and didn’t think President Carter was that bad.  

But Reagan had a simple message that said quit worrying about everything and just live.  Boy did we ever in the 1980s.  It seemed like the whole country just lowered their heads and went to work. 

This movie made me remember all that.  I think this may be one of the best movies of the 1970s.  Do yourself a favor and see it again.  And besides ladies, you get to gaze upon that blonde hunk that we all lusted after so many years ago.

Grit: A New Year’s Resolution

December 29, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Family Life, Opinion, This & That 2 Comments

Meta Description:  <The “Greatest Generation” had grit, but do we and our children?  Will we be able to rise to the occasion if our liberties are threatened?>

 

Remember the John Wayne picture named “True Grit”?  In the movie, a fourteen-year-old girl Mattie hired Rooster Cogburn, played by John Wayne, because she heard that he had true grit. She needed someone with passion and resolve to track down and capture the man who had murdered her father.

Have you ever thought about that word “grit” and what it actually means.  What was it that John Wayne’s character had that was so special?

http://youtu.be/XTMeDBVknQY

Well, I decided to look up the definition, and here is what I found.  It means courage, resolve and strength of character.  Synonyms are bravery, pluck, mettle, backbone, strength of character, strength of will, steel, nerve, fortitude, toughness, hardiness, resolve, resolution, determination, tenacity, perseverance and endurance.  Kind of reminds you of the girl in “True Grit” when she crossed that river.

One example of use in a sentence was given by the online dictionary.  It said, “He displayed the true grit of a navy pilot.”

Which brought me to think about a generation that seemed to have these characteristics.  Many of us knew them as the “greatest generation”.  They were the men and women who carried our country through World War II.  As a whole, they epitomized this concept.

 

The Men of WWII    The Women of WWII

But their time was over seventy years ago.  And today is…well, it is today!  I can’t help wondering if our generation has this?  Do we have true grit.  I’m thinking, not.  I’m also wondering if we have raised our children to have it, too?

I’m concerned because whether we want to admit it or not, we seem to have an enemy.  Someone wants to take away our freedoms of speech, religion, and general happiness.  There are those elsewhere in this world who don’t like us the way we are.  They keep hitting us here on our own soil–a little here and a lot there (the Twin Towers).  Each time, the threat makes us realize that we may have to call on our young people to help us again.  And I’m not talking about simply air strikes in another country.
Attack on the Twin Towers

I guess I’m worried, because I’m wondering if we will have what it takes to rise up and do what is needed to be done when the time comes.  It will take much fortitude, courage and hardiness from not only our military but from all of us as well.

That word “fortitude” worries me, because it seems a little hard to maintain fortitude when we have such short attention spans.  I’ll give you a brief example that seemed truly insignificant at the time but may be an indication of a bigger problem.

As a family we celebrated our extended family Christmas on Christmas Eve.  There were 26 family members, including our children and their families, our sisters and theirs, a nephew and his, and even one mother-in-law.  As is traditional, we placed two of the grandchildren ages eight and seven in charge of handing out the gifts from the great pile under the Christmas tree.

There was one problem, though.  They would pick up two or three, hand those out, and then get distracted.  We would have to jump start the process again.  Their parents, too, were distracted and didn’t seem to notice the problem.  After about three times of this, I finally gave up and jumped in and handed out the gifts myself.

I thought of a quote I recently heard.  “People today have the attention span of a gold fish.”    Notice he didn’t say kids.  He said people, and I think he may be right.

 

The Attention Span of a Goldfish.

 

I’m wondering if we as productive members of society should be more concerned about teaching our children to have true grit–to demonstrate strength of character, hardiness and resolve.  It all goes hand in hand with “finishing the job”.  How can we have a “work ethic” if we never finish?  And again I’m not just talking again about the kids.  This is the job of parents and even grandparents, to maintain the effort through thick and thin.  To “finish the job”.  If we give up over and over, how can we expect our children to do otherwise.

Our nation’s schools of psychology are beginning to look more into this behavior called “grit”.  University of Pennsylvania psychologist Angela Duckworth defines grit as a child’s “perseverance and passion for long-term goals.”  She says that it is a better indicator of future earnings and happiness than either IQ or talent.

I found a blog post that explains how parents can teach their children grit.  It is entitled What is Grit, Why Kids Need It & How You Can Foster It?  Click on the name, and a link will take you there.

Also, this is the time of year when we re-evaluate ourselves to see what needs improvements.  It is the time of year when New Year’s resolutions are made.  A good focus for all of us can be to evaluate how we’re raising our children.  Subsequently, a good resolution might begin in 2016 that can teach our children grit and ultimately help themselves and ourselves.

I sincerely hope someone out there is listening.  These freedoms that we all cherish can only be maintained with diligence, attentiveness, and just plain “doing our part”.  We must maintain and finish the jobs that we’ve been given.

Grit may be a key ingredient to our liberties.

 

Grit May Be Key To Our Liberties

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What Happens to a Type-A Parent When the Kids Leave?

September 30, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Opinion Leave a Comment

Well, that’s a good question–one of which I think I may know the answer.
I was a Type-A parent who juggled parenting, a husband and household, a career, religion and philanthropy, and my own needs with varying degrees of efficiency. I noticed that when any one of these needs got too much attention, one or more of the others suffered greatly in varying degrees. It was a constant balancing act.

So what happens when all of them disappear over time as they all must? What takes their place? Well, here is what what happened in my life.

As soon as the kids left, I put more attention into my career. I was lucky. I loved my work and spent most of my forties and fifties being very productive and saving greater percentages of my earnings to use in retirement. Even with the added time, though, I got too mentally caught up in this and my health suffered. I forgot that it is always to be a balancing act. I spent my latter forties figuring out my new “older” body and how to better take care of myself.


Working for the Florida Game & Freshwater Fish Commission

Then Chuck hit his magic 70s; and we both retired, though I was only 60. He asked me to do it with him, but he didn’t have to twist my arm. After 40 years of working full-time, except for a brief seven years to have my kids and another brief four year period to go back to graduate school and keep my teenagers out of trouble, I walked away.

So what is this Type-A parent doing now? Well, I retired in May of 2014; and by that September I started this blog. By this date I had already started writing the first book in a trilogy entitled “Palmetto Pioneers”. I also started an application to have two of my ancestors certified as Florida pioneers.

I spend two days a week in libraries gathering research and the other three days on the Internet doing the same. I work mornings on these three days, and I’m usually out of the house or in my garden in the afternoons. I have a basic work schedule.

I fully realize that I just found myself another job. 😅

And if that isn’t enough. I expanded our tree farm, tripling it in size. Tree farming was something I did on the side before I retired. It was inherited from my dad when he passed in 2003.

I spend more time than ever in my garden. Right now one of my beds is way overgrown but with carefully planted plants, not weeds. It rained a lot this summer, and the annuals and perennials did very well. My sister recently called it a hot mess. 😏. I guess I need to do some pruning.

 

My garden last spring.

 
I exercise more regularly, and I haven’t felt better in years. I do yoga twice a week, lift weights twice a week and swim twice a week. Nothing major just 8 or 10 laps and about 20 minute of weights each session. I can wear sleeveless dresses again and I think my breasts have lifted some. 😌

And then there are the grandchildren! It is a little like watching my kids grow up all over again. And if they get too rowdy, we always know that it won’t be too long before their parents come back. 😊 Last weekend we watched our three and four year old grandsons and even took them to a college football game in Atlanta. We all had a wonderful time. Both little boys were a testament to their parents’s parenting skills.

Our religious needs are handled in our own individual ways. Neither of us are regular church goers, though I was when the kids were still at home. Now we just tithe; and I fulfill my spiritual needs with a morning devotional, though I’m not sure everyone would agree with what I’m reading right now. I’ve been reading the books that didn’t make the cut–those Biblical readings that were left out when the New Testament was formed.

Oh, and I almost forgot. Most importantly, I thank God a lot lately for all our blessings.

I still attend alumni meetings of my old college sorority, and through them Chuck and I serve once a month at Grace Mission. I always feel sympathetic to the needs of the homeless, but giving them money to further harm themselves through alcohol and drug abuse is something I cannot do in good conscience. Helping at the mission is our way of helping.

Finally, Chuck and I like to travel. We just got back from cruising the Baltic Sea, which I plan to share in some future blog posts.


At Catherine’s Palace in Pushkin near St. Petersburg, Russia

So lately what do you think Chuck and I have been talking about? Well, we can’t figure out when we had the time to work before we retired!

So what is the answer to the question, “What Happens to a Type-A Parent When the Kids Leave?” You just get busier–only if you are really blessed, you get busier doing the things you most enjoy!

The History of the Tomahawk

August 11, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Genealogy, Opinion Leave a Comment

Most of my family are Seminoles.  In American football, that means we support the football program at Florida State University.  We even support them by being Tomahawk boosters.  I have always thought that tomahawks were used first by our Native Americans; but now I’m not so sure.

This morning I read a Scots-Irish blog post that lends new light on the subject.  You can read about it Here.

Due to DNA testing, I’ve been told that I’m about 48% Irish; and after my uncle who is a Roe was tested, we learned that the Roes are Scots-Irish.  Thus the reason I read this blog.

Anyway, they know that the Scottish people have been using the toagh (pronounced ‘too a’ in Gaellic) since pre-historic times; and that they brought it to Ireland and then on to the frontier of America.  It was very handy for cutting and also for arming themselves.  In battle Experienced men could throw one with precision from five to 20 feet away.


I use a version of it in my garden.  It is handy when I happen upon a stray root or a venomous snake.  I have some Native American blood and always thought of it as a device from that lineage, which was also through the Roe line.  One of the Roes, probably the first in America in the 1600s took an Indian wife.

Now, I know that it was also part of the Scots-Irish lineage as well.

Can There Be Rights With No Responsibilities?

August 9, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Opinion, This & That Leave a Comment

I ran across this today.  So rather than putting forth my two cents, I would like to hear yours.  

First question. Is this true?
  

Our government has something to say about our rights and responsibilities as Americans.  I found it on this page.  Below is a screenshot.

  
Second question?  Should a bullet be added regarding our responsibilities to our families?

Third Question?  Voting is a right, but should it also be a responsibility?

Young Girls Dressing Provocatively

March 25, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Family Life, Opinion, Style Leave a Comment

I sure am glad that I don’t have to raise daughters today.  It seems as if society is working against the mothers of young girls.

Chuck and I raised two daughters.   By their teenage years I remember all too well how hard it was to get them to dress in what we thought was appropriate.  It was often a fight, and I remember my own battles with my parents over the length of my skirts when I was young.  It was the age of the mini skirt.  The style then was very different than the way I was raised up to that point.

My 8th Grade Birthday Party

My 8th Grade Birthday Party

So I was very interested in the blog post entitled,  “Why I Care: Speaking About The Post That Called Out Target” at the Blog called “Binkies & Briefcase”.  You can find it here.  Her blog post ended up becoming part of the national conversation on this subject.

The pressure on young girls to dress provocatively is so much more than when I or my daughters were young.   Back then, at least we had society helping us, instead of working against us like it seems to be today.  Magazine ads and store mannequins try to sell a style–a look that is often sleazy and/or garish.

My Girls

My Girls

I had no idea how bad it was until I read this blog post.  I encourage you to read it, too.  I believe she makes a good point.

So how do you feel about the way some young girls dress or about what you’re seeing in the stores?  Do you think she has a point?

 

In Honor of SAHWMs

March 18, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Family Life, Opinion Leave a Comment

I learned the meaning of a new acronym. Anna at In Honor Of Design used it in one of her posts.

SAHWM means “stay at home working mother.” I have three in my family–two daughters and a daughter-in-law; and they seem to have it no easier than I did. All three either have businesses that they operate out of their homes, or they are bloggers. One is both. All three struggle to balance their child rearing, work, and housekeeping.

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My Daughters and Daughter-in-Law

By the way I was not a SAHWM most of my child rearing days; though, I did do it for three years with my first child, Jamie.  She is in the picture above on top. I owned a florist, and she was there day in and day out. During the first years, the florist was downtown; but I finally moved it into my home for the last year and a half.

My days were at least ten hour days, as florist work is long and demanding. I finally sold the florist and took a full time job just to get back to regular hours and to make more money. We wanted to vacation and belong to the country club and play golf and tennis, so I felt I had to go to work.

I worked at the end of a 30-minute commute one way. The hours were 7.5 a day, but I made a good salary. I had sick leave and vacation leave and other good benefits. I made enough to keep the kids in day care and to enjoy those precious kid-free hours.  Back home it had been lots of arguing, crying, and general house wrecking. I picked up the kids and cooked dinner as soon as I walked in the door. I did my cleaning at night after the kids went to bed and got up an hour before anyone else to exercise and have a few minutes of peace to enjoy my breakfast. I lived on about six to seven hours of sleep a night for many years.

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Me and My Girls

My commute was almost a meditation. I remember the solitude of my car. There was a road halfway that held significance. If I was going from work to home, I realized that I had left the hassles of work behind by the time I reached this road. The opposite was the same. The pressures of home seemed to melt away going the opposite direction.

Finally, my kids entered those special years of teenage puberty; and I decided that I needed to be home more, so I began working jobs that allowed me to work from home. I was again a SAHWM. As they got older and began driving I went back to college, eventually getting my Ph.D.

So as you can see, I was the flip side of the SAHWM for most of my kids’ years at home, I was a AFHWM, an “away from home working mother.”

Our commonality is that all of us are still WMs.  Working mothers.

I believe, though, that my mother may have had it the best. I grew up next to my grandmother, who was a wonderful role model and provider. My mom went to work full-time when I was about 3-4 years old, but I never went to day care. I had my grandmother to watch after me.

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My Grandmother and me

She home schooled me. I can still remember the blackboard on her sleeping porch. She taught me my numbers, my abc’s, and how to tie my shoes before I ever got to kindergarten. She taught me etiquette and how to play in a dress without ever showing my panties. I’m sure I slipped up, but not without embarrassment if I knew it.

Yes, she even taught me guilt, something that I resented when I was younger because I thought it held me back. Now, though, I welcome it as a comfortable barometer–a good part of growing old.

I never resented Mom’s work. We grew up knowing that her salary paid for vacations, dancing and piano lessons, cheerleading uniforms, 4-H camp, and much more.

IMG_6400.JPG       My sister, Mom and me

So you see, I had the best of both worlds–two moms. Grandmother was my SAHWM, and mom was my AFHWM. Still, both of them were simply working mothers.

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Are We Wealthy or Do We Just Use Our Credit Cards?

February 18, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Opinion 2 Comments

It occurs to me that everywhere we look, things look better than when we were raised.  Our houses are bigger, our cars are newer, our roads are better, and our buildings are grander.  It appears we are a wealthy nation.

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But are we really?  When I was young, there was no talk about trillion dollar deficits nor were there many credit cards in circulation.   My family didn’t have one nor did I have one until I was over 25 years old.

What we have today is a federal government that spends like there is no tomorrow.  The sequester and the House feuding with the Senate is the only reason federal  spending has been controlled somewhat.  Our President spends and believes we need to raise taxes to spend some more.  Congress did the same thing, and it didn’t seem to matter which party was in control.  In the past the Democrats spent and wanted to raise taxes to keep on spending, while the Republicans spent and didn’t want to raise taxes.  It didn’t mean that the Republicans stopped spending, though.

Our current Congress may be different, but only time will tell.  And don’t get me started about our state agencies.

I belong to the Florida Forestry Association, and last summer I learned that our federal government was destroying their surplus military equipment instead of passing it on to local and state governments.  I used to work for the Florida Game and Fresh Water Fish Commission, and we used to rely on those surplus machines to make ends meet.  Our agency didn’t have a lot of money to spend, and in Florida our constitution requires a balanced budget.  No money, no spending.  So the GFC needed that surplus equipment.

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I also know that local fire stations do the same, as does the state forest service.  I thought to myself, what in the world are the feds doing.  Is there a safety issue with the equipment?

No, it wasn’t a safety issue.  Instead, it was our federal government protecting our air.   The administration destroyed this valuable surplus equipment because it did not meet the Environmental Protection Agency’s air emissions standards.

Good Grief!  How wasteful!

It appears our government thinks we are wealthy, too!

But in case you are sitting back and thinking that we, the people would do it better, let’s take a look at ourselves.  Out here in the real world, we have a spending problem, too.  We spend for all kind of good reasons, just like our government; but in the end we spend more money than we make, thanks to credit cards, mortgages, home equity loans and much, much more.   Our children have hocked their life’s ambitions to pay for schools that we could not afford.  We live in houses with upside down mortgages.  We drive cars that are worth less than what we owe.  We all appear wealthy.

I wish I could say more, but there isn’t much left to say.

 

 

 

 

Good News From the Ebola Front

January 15, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Health, Opinion Leave a Comment

All three of the West African nations, Sierra Leone, Guinea and Liberia, report a decline in new Ebola cases.

Guinea and Liberia turned the corner earlier, but Sierra Leone lagged behind, reporting flare ups of new cases all through the Christmas season.  This week Sierra Leone reported the lowest weekly total of new cases since last summer.

Ebola1

Safe burials of the corpses were the biggest common problem, and all three countries have worked hard to help people understand that this was the most common way to contract the disease.  Their culture and religious traditions required washing of the body by relatives.

Schools and universities in all three countries have been closed since last summer, but Guinea announced that their schools and universities will reopen next Monday.

Research continues to show that fruit bats, a delicacy to some in these areas, are the virus’s host.

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Some of you know that I am no fan of President Obama.  I don’t agree with most of his views, but I believe he has handled this crisis as well as can be expected from anyone.  Though the CDC was slow in getting ready for any possible occurrences of the disease in the US, their response afterwards was quick.

Also, our President’s assignment of an Ebola Czar seemed to be a misstep, but in the end he may have been right.  In retrospect what we needed most was to step back, calm down, and keep a cool head.  I think they may have done this by suppressing information to the public.  I’m no fan of suppressing information, but people out here were getting a little crazy over the prospect of them or their family contracting the disease, me included.

His other strategy, I believe, was to contain the disease by first sending personnel (health caregivers and the military) to the areas where the disease was spreading out of control.  At first I thought this was missing the mark since the situation in the Middle East seemed far more threatening at the time.  After reading up on what this disease can do to a population, though, I realized that this virus was the most threatening enemy out there.

It just shows that we in the US have a good, solid governmental structure.  Our representative form of government works well because we elect people to be in the middle and make the best decisions they can with the information they have.  All of us out here are the democracy, and often we do not have enough information to make the day to day decisions for us and our country.

I just want to say thank you to all the health care givers, health care officials, our military, the officials of the three most affected countries, all the health care associations who worked so hard, the CDC, the TSA, our own hospitals in the US who agreed to take on patients and are working on a cure, those who prayed, those who donated, and our President.  I know this is not over, but it appears this very bad outbreak could be over soon for those suffering people in those three West African nations.

We are all very fortunate that they may have stopped Ebola over there before it had a chance to reach our shores in multiples.

Are You an Overly Protective Parent?

January 7, 2015 by oldageisnotforsissies54 Filed Under: Family Life, Opinion 2 Comments

I’ve noticed what I feel is an effort to be an overly protective parent.  Maybe even too overly protective.  If my parents were still alive, they would probably debate whether children today are allowed to grow and develop into independent adults.  Yesterday, though, I saw the opposite of an over protective parent.

Yesterday, we took two of our grandchildren to an outdoor youth event. They got to watch shooting demonstrations, see a pool full of baby alligators and even hold them, sit in a fire truck and see forestry fire equipment, and ride on a hay wagon from event to event; but the highlight of the trip was the fish pond stocked with catfish.

Yesterday, we took two of our grandchildren to an outdoor youth event. They got to watch shooting demonstrations, see a pool full of baby alligators and even hold them, sit in a fire truck and see forestry fire equipment, and ride on a hay wagon from event to event; but the highlight of the trip was the fish pond stocked with catfish.

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Each was given a Shakespeare fishing rod that they were allowed to keep; and it came complete with a sinker, float, big circle hook and a paper solo cup full of diced hot dogs. The catfish must love the hot dogs because boy were they biting.

Most interesting of all, though, was this very well-dressed, cute five-year-old that was fishing by himself. He had trouble casting, so Chuck started helping him just like he helped our grandchildren. This went on for well over an hour, as we kept waiting for the child’s parents to come back, which they never did.

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Finally, we asked the child about his parents, especially his mother; but he said that he didn’t have a mother. Later, they were closing down the event, we went to one of the staff to let them know that this little boy was alone and no adult had come forward the entire time.

When we were leaving on the hay wagon, we noticed a staffer get on with the little boy and another slightly older boy who seemed to be the older sibling. Back at the parking lot, we noticed the two boys and the staffer walking around, but there seemed to be no parent. The older boy looked to be about eight.

This event was almost ten miles from the nearest rural small town. I believe in the end they would have had to give these kids to one of the deputy sheriffs who were there to help with traffic control.  I left thinking that someone had lost their mind leaving a five-year-old with no adult supervision especially at an event like this.

What struck me, though, was how well behaved this child was. He was clean, neat, hair well groomed, no crying and whining when he didn’t get his way; and he even helped our two-year-old.

This little five year old acted like an adult. He melded into our family like one of us. We kept trying to get him to let us handle the catfish. They can spine you pretty badly, but he insisted on handling his own. He was truly self-sufficient, except for casting; and Chuck helped him learn how.

I have always been impressed with the self-sufficiency of some young people, especially those who were raised in orphanages.   Can you imagine how self-sufficient they have to be?  They are one of many children.  The older ones have to help take care of the younger children.

I learned this when I was about eight years old.   My family brought home a young girl who had just graduated from high school in a Tennessee orphanage.  The headmaster was an old army buddy of my dad’s, and he was worried that this young, naïve girl might have problems being turned out into the world so quickly, as orphanages must do to make room for the younger ones.

We brought her to our hometown, where she lived with us and enrolled in the local junior college.  Today, she is a wonderful woman with a career behind her and a family including grandchildren.  On a character scale of 1 to 10, she is a 10.

Another great example of this was a man named Norman Rales.  He was raised in an orphanage, and at the age of 17 he was given a little money, a suit and told to go out and find work.  He did just that, and in the end, he became a very wealthy man and a great philanthropist.  During his lifetime he developed and owned several companies, as well as the Texas Rangers.

Chuck had an opportunity to do some work for Mr. Rales, and he always had a great deal of respect for the octogenarian, who passed away a few years ago at the age of 88.

So back to our day at the outdoor event.

What is GRIT?

It is obvious to me that this little five-year-old boy was “raising himself” or at least he was that day.  In fact, he seemed to be doing a good job of it.  This little boy seemed to have something that the psychology community is now studying.  They call it “grit”, and they think it helps explain how children of dysfunctional homes find a way to excel.  They also believe that this is a better indicator of success in adult life than intelligence.

There is a movie called “Race to NoWhere”, and it talks about the problems facing children of affluent families.  It shows how we in America have stolen our children’s childhood through our race for achievement, whether in academia, sports, or the arts.

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Children of Affluent Families

Also, affluence is a relative term today.  What we consider upper-middle-class today would be considered affluent just forty years ago.  For those of us over fifty, ask yourself, “How often did your family eat out when you were young?”  Now look at our lives today and ask the same question.

Now look at our lives today and ask the same question.  Middle-class families today eat out often, have closets full of clothes, and live in big houses.  We also raise our children much differently than we did forty years ago.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we have it so much easier than our parents did; and we have the ability to make it much easier for our children, too.

“Race to Nowhere” and subsequent studies on resilience and grit have helped to build a growing movement of psychologists and educators.  They argue that the methods and systems that we use to raise and educate our children in the United States today are in fact devastating them.

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In the movie is a psychologist named Madeline Levine, who is the author of the best-selling book, “The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids.” She talks about studies and surveys that back up her theory that children of affluent parents now exhibit “unexpectedly high rates of emotional problems beginning in junior high school.”

She feels all of this is a direct result of the child-rearing practices that is currently used in affluent American homes.  How many times have you heard about a parent who pushed their child to excel and also tried to shield the child from failure?

Failure, according to these psychologists is the kind of experience that can lead to grit and character growth.  Kids who are shielded from this don’t have a threshold for suffering.  One can imagine what will happen when they try to succeed in life–when life throws them a curve as it always does.

And we need to ask ourselves if these are the people that are shooting up movie theaters, schools, and other public places?  Something obviously has gone wrong in their life, and they obviously cannot deal with it.

Sometimes I wonder if we overly protect and overly devote ourselves to our children.  I wonder if we are overly protective parents.

So back to the outdoor event.  There were a lot of kids out there that day who were misbehaving in one way or the other, including our own. As discipline goes, this little lonely little boy seemed to be the best of the lot that day.

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