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OLD AGE IS NOT FOR SISSIES

BECAUSE NOTHING IN LIFE IS TO BE FEARED, IT IS ONLY TO BE UNDERSTOOD

Exploring the Benefits of Magnificent Magnesium

by Filed Under: Health 4 Comments

I was deficient of Magnesium, but not anymore. I take my supplements religiously every night just before bed–400 mg of Magnesium citrate for me.

It took me years, but this may be the most important supplement for my body. For me it cured my sleeplessness and problems with an inability to poop regularly.

Different Types of Magnesium

I tried taking Magnesium years ago, but it didn’t seem to be working. That’s because it wasn’t. Turns out I was taking Magnesium oxide, a type that is hard for my body to absorb.
When we are young, our bodies absorb nutrients more easily; but as we age our bodies lose that ability. What I needed was a magnesium that absorbed easier. My doctor suggested magnesium citrate.

A few years ago, I had trouble sleeping. My doctor, Dr. Leslie Emhoff, suggested three supplements, one of which was Magnesium citrate. It turns out that it was the Magnesium rather than the other two supplements that helped me return to sleeping regularly. Big problem solved. You can read more here.

But still I skipped taking it, sometimes several days in a row, until I couldn’t sleep a night and then I would begin taking it again. I hate taking pills.

Magnesium for Regularity

So on to problem number two, which was a problem with doing number two. Frankly, I just couldn’t figure it out. I watched my fiber intake, but it was hit and miss. I tried to make sure I got whole foods including whole grains. And plenty of them, but still I found myself constipated from time to time. I couldn’t figure it out.

Photo compliments of Pixabay

Then a a couple of months ago I was at an elderly friend’s home, and Dr. Oz came on her caretaker’s tv talking about constipation. All of a sudden all three of us, my friend, her caretaker, and I were glued to the set. Seems all three of us, all over 60, have trouble in this department.

Somewhere during his presentation, Dr. Oz said that taking a Magnesium supplement can help with constipation. Voila! So I started making sure I took it every night and have had no problems ever since.

A Vastly Underappreciated Supplement

Turns out Magnesium helps with all kinds of problems. It seems that it is vastly under appreciated when it comes to our health.

It is vital for bone health, helping with bone density. For example, did you know that more than half the Magnesium stored in our bodies is stored in our bones?

It helps Vitamin D do it’s job, which I just found I’m deficient, even though I already took it.  Dr. Emhoff just increased my Vitamin D.

Magnesium is important for heart health. It seems that it relaxes our muscles, and our heart is just that–a muscle. It relaxes blood vessels, and this in turn lowers blood pressure.

Magnesium deficiency may be linked to the growing number of problems with insulin resistance and type II diabetes. There seems to be a correlation between type II diabetes and lower Magnesium stores.

Magnesium deficiency may be linked to inflammation. One study showed a correlation between higher Magnesium stores and less markers for inflammation.

So magnesium needs to be elevated to a super supplement in my book. Especially since it helps with problems in both my bedroom and my bathroom.

Sources of Magnesium

I take it in a supplement, but many people may be able to get it from the foods they eat. I’m a meat eater and love beef, chicken, pork, fish, etc.; but you need leafy greens, whole grains, nuts, and legumes to get enough Magnesium.

Photo compliments of Pixabay

Also, there are foods that take it out of our bodies, such as sodas and caffeinated beverages such as coffee and tea. I drink a lot of tea, so I probably need to take the supplement.
Magnesium deficiency can be related to all kinds of problems such as muscle cramps and spasms, tics, anxiety, and even seizures. It may also be related to chronic fatigue and depression. And when magnesium is low, our bodies strip it from our bones, where it is needed to work with Vitamin D and calcium.

Old Age Is Not for Sissies Blog (oldageisnotforsissiesblog.com) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

I purchase my magnesium citrate through Amazon.  Here is a link below to what I use.

 

A very good article about magnesium deficiency can be found here.

 

Photo compliments of Pixabay

 

But back to the bathroom problem. I remember my Grandmother taking Milk of Magnesia. I didn’t know why she took it, but I know now it was a laxative.

It seems that constipation is not caused by magnesium deficiency, but taking magnesium citrate simply helps relax your bowels and draws water into the intestines. You can read about it here.

The article also talks about those of us who should not take Magnesium citrate. If you fall in one of these categories, you should speak to your doctor before taking it.

My husband Chuck has problems with magnesium citrate, but his body responded well to Magnesium glycinate.  If your stools are too loose try Magnesium glycinate.

Magnesium is involved in more than 300 reactions in our bodies. All I know, though, is that magnificent Magnesium has made my life so much better.

 

 

Do you take supplements to ensure healthy aging? Are there any that you feel have contributed to good health in your 50s, 60s and/or 70s? Please share in the comments section below.

The Genius of Play

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health 2 Comments

Did you know that the amount of time that today’s children spend playing is far less than the amount of time we spent at play? How can that be with so many overwhelmed mothers who spend their time running children from one event to the next?

Children Playing

Siblings Wrestling in the Grass When They Thought No One Was Looking

Meanwhile, in our schools there is a decline in recesses. And at home there is an increase in screen time. Altogether, this means there is an overall decline in unsupervised play.

From time to time my husband Chuck and I reminisce about our childhood experiences and find ourselves comparing them to those of our grandchildren. The one that we feel is the most different is playing outdoors.

Neither of us would trade our experiences with our grandchildren’s. Not only do we see less children playing outdoors, but we also see that those who do are almost always involved in some sort of competitive, adult-supervised play.

Children at Play

T-Ball

We feel that outdoor play is important to the development of children, but we also think that unsupervised play is equally important.

I learned in October while at the Type-A Parents Blogging Conference that we are not alone in our beliefs. Researchers say that free play significantly improves kids’ problem-solving skills. Play is also one of the best ways to stimulate children’s brain development. Active kids are more likely to be active adults.

Children at Play

Girls Playing

But is free play the same as unsupervised play.

Chuck likes to talk about the traditional pick up game and how he feels it helped him develop into an independent adult. I wrote an earlier blog which described his experience. You can find it here.

I on the other hand like to tell about mine and my sister Pam’s imaginary world of playing house, using a stick to draw our homes in the dirt road driveway leading down to our home. They didn’t pave the driveway until I was much older.

Also, many of us in the neighborhood liked to play down in the woods behind our houses. We built forts and dammed the stream back there. Those were wonderful days, and there wasn’t an adult in sight for hours at a time.

 

Teenagers at play

Teenagers hanging out.

At the Conference I found in the expo a kiosk about a movement called, “The Genius of Play”. This is a national movement whose mission is to give families the information and inspiration to make Play an important part of every child’s day. You can read about it here.

Their research says that play is more than fun and games; that it is essential for child development. Their mission is to “give families the information and inspiration needed to make play an important part of every child’s life.” It provides advice, play tips, and ideas based on a kid’s age and developmental stages.

Since the conference, I found other groups with the same purpose, such as PortlandFamily.org and www.Care.Com.

The Genius of Play and the other groups feel that there are six key benefits of play that are crucial to healthy child development.  I’ve taken the liberty to regurgitate what they said, melding it all together below.

Key Benefits of Play

1. Play Improves Cognitive Abilities – There are studies that show a correlation between outdoor play and a reduction in ADHD symptoms. Outdoor play requires children to use their brains in unique ways. Also, it helps them to incorporate concepts learned in the classroom.

They may have learned about the parts of an insect in school, but in the outdoors they can study an insect up close, by themselves, and experience it in a hands-on way where they can see it and touch it, bringing to life the lesson they learned at their school. My daughters used to bring me rolly pollys and would also let the little green lizards bite their earlobes and wear them as earrings until they let go. Scientists tell us that outdoor play also decreases anxiety.

Children exploring

Exploring New Ground

2. Play Hones Communication Skills – Unstructured play helps with honing our communication skills. Not everyone can be chosen first nor can everyone take a turn on the slide first. Kids who participate in unstructured play with each other learn these communication and behavioral skills on the playground.

They also learn to modify and enforce their own rules. Chuck and I both were involved in unstructured, unsupervised play. His story about the pick-up game you heard about earlier. Mine, though, was in a big field across the road from my home. It was surrounded with houses, as we lived at the edge of a small town. Kids from the houses met in that field and played football, baseball, or whatever was in season. As a girl, I loved football best. I think it had something to do with getting tackled by the boys.

3. Play Increases Creativity – Outdoor play helps children use all their senses, such as insects to see, rustling leaves to hear, fresh mown grass to smell, rabbit weed to taste, and acorns to touch and throw. TV only gives them hearing and seeing, and it can seriously affect their perceptual abilities.

For example, biking develops self-confidence and satisfies one’s exploratory interest, and playing outdoors provides opportunities for imaginative play. Children invent things like Pam and I used to do with the imaginary houses we created. And it was dirt that presented limitless opportunities to invent our world as we pleased.

Children at Play

Building Creativity

4. Play Increases the Ability to Process and Express Emotions – Remember how excited we all got when someone made a touchdown or someone jumped across a wide ditch. Well, this is how we learned to process and express our emotions. We were challenged by the other kids; and that was a good thing, because we learned how to cope.

5. Play Develops Physical Skills – Did you know that children who play outdoors have better distance vision? A study by Optometry and Vision Science found this to be true. Also, outside play is relaxing and destressing for children.

Research shows that third graders who get 15 plus minutes of recess a day are better behaved in school. Playing outdoors also helps kids develop muscle strength and coordination. For example, the simple act of swinging requires a child to engage all their muscles to hold on, balance, and coordinate their body to move back and forth. Skating requires balance, too.

Child Playing Alone

Climbing Trees

6. Play Enhances Social Skills – Outdoor play requires kids to learn to get along with each other. Unchaperoned play requires it, too. It also helps kids gain self-confidence. Children invent rules and negotiate their way through play. This increases their creativity, intelligence, and negotiation skills—all social skills that we need to function in society.

But I would like to add a seventh benefit.

7. Play in the Outdoors Develops Good Health – Lots of children suffer from vitamin D deficiencies according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. This vitamin is important to future bone and heart health, but too much sun is a problem as well. My mother and I both made our kids come indoors during the hours of 10-2 p.m. Florida gets quite hot during the middle of the day anyway. But children need to play outdoors without sunscreen for some part of the day, and I don’t remember using sunscreen as a child at all unless we were swimming or out all day on the beach. I can remember playing outdoors without my shirt until I got to be about 6 or 7 years old. I believe outdoor play for children is vital to their good health.

So grandmothers, encourage your children to read this. They need to understand that unstructured play is as important as school and adult-supervised sports.

Children Playing

Nothing like a sprinkler on a hot summer’s day.

Kay Redfield Jamison, a psychologist noted for her work on bi-polar disorder, says it best, “Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.”

The Five Stages of Grief Plus One

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health 9 Comments

The holidays are especially difficult for those who have lost a loved one, especially within the past year.  Back in March I experienced a loss that I’ve never experienced before–the loss of one of my siblings.

Sisters

Me, Linda, and Pam


Last October was my sister Pam’s birthday, and she would have been 60 years old. I’ve missed her a lot lately, because it’s hard to move on like nothing really changed. In fact it seems disrespectful. And besides, now we’re in the Holidays.

Our parents are deceased, so she and I owned the two old family homes where we grew up. She owned our grandparent’s home, where our Dad was born; and I owned our childhood home, which he built next door. Since we both married and moved away years ago, we rented out the houses.

Every once in a while, though, we talked about getting old and moving back there beside each other–the possibility of two old widows growing older together. We laughed at the thought. We fought as kids so we expected nothing less later in life.

Back in October, though, I visited our Grandmother Hamrick’s two surviving sisters. They were the babies in their family of ten children. Today, they are two widows, 90 and 88, living across the street from each other in Port St. Lucie, Florida. They fight like no get out.

Pam and I would have been just like them, but now it will never happen. We will never grow old together. We will never move back to the old homes, either.

 

Losing Pam

Pam died last spring. She was 59 years young. She became very sick almost over night, and she didn’t make it. You can read about what happened here. 

Pam Roe Barnes

My Sister Pam


Since then, it has been a slow seven months; and looking back I realize I’m a classic example of the Five Stages of Loss and Grief that people react to under such circumstances.  You can read about it below.

The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief

 

Denial, Numbness and Shock

I think I went through some of this first stage while Pam was still sick. Her sickness was so sudden and so devastating that her life was in great danger, but I just didn’t accept it.  Never for a minute did I think that she might not make it. She was so strong and healthy before, and I just knew she would beat the illness. I was shocked and numb when she didn’t.

All of us coasted through those days immediately afterward. It was easier when there were people to receive, a funeral to attend, and goodbyes to be said. They say that the numbness is there to help you cope. All I know is I began to wonder what was wrong with me. I wondered why I didn’t cry more.

Chuck and I took a quick trip into the North Carolina mountains for a day between her death and the funeral. I just needed to grieve by myself. I think I was just too numb to be there to help plan her funeral. We drove to Chimney Rock, spent the night, and returned the next day.

And there have been other emotions.

 

Bargaining

Since she died last Spring, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night playing out different scenarios. I know now that I’ve been bargaining with myself. The scenarios center around Pam’s problems with delirium while she was in the hospital.

You see, a patient who is unconscious for a long time becomes very confused. Pam was on a ventilator for over three weeks; but she had family with her around the clock. Each day Chuck and I took over right after noon to relieve her husband, and we stayed until her son and his wife took over for the evening. All of us did this for the time that she was in the hospital.

Pam was unconscious almost the entire three weeks. Early on they had her in a drug-induced coma, but later they kept trying to wake her and that was a problem in and of itself. She fought the tubes down her throat, and her oxygen levels plummeted every time. Delirium was the issue; and we the family had no idea what it was, let alone the role it played in her possible recovery.

Since then, I read up on it; and now I wake up playing tapes in my head–that maybe If I kept her hospital room brightly lit during each and every day or if I kept talking to her non-stop while I was there.

Delirium happens when the patient becomes confused for many reasons, such as how night and day becomes one and the same to the patient, adding to their confusion.

What if, what if. I can’t get those tapes out of my head now. Thankfully, it isn’t every night, so I keep taking it one day or in this case one night at a time.

 

Anger

This stage for me came really, really early. I’m afraid I lashed out in anger at Pam’s ex-husband. They divorced over a decade ago, and Pam finally moved on and recently married. I was mad that they had been married only less than a year–that she didn’t have this new wonderful life very long. I just wanted her to be finally happy.

Married Couple

Pam and her Husband Mike


Of course, what I was really angry at was losing Pam. And losing her to a hideous myth about taking flu shots. Within a week or two after her death I wrote a blog post taking out all my anger on her ex and “When A Myth Can Cost A Life“. I guess I got it off my chest really quickly, because the anger is gone now.  There is sadness now.

There are two more steps in the grieving process–depression and acceptance. I haven’t experienced the former, and I believe I’m getting closer to the latter.  There is still a general numbness from time to time, but I’m no longer angry. I’m obviously still subconsciously bargaining, or I wouldn’t be waking up at night playing the “what if” scenarios. Thank goodness, I haven’t been depressed.

But there may be another step.

 

Guilt

I had two episodes that don’t seem to fit any of the five steps.

The night Pam died, I stepped out into the hallway because I just couldn’t stand to see Pam’s nine-month’s pregnant daughter crying or Pam’s husband of less than a year weeping.

I stepped around the corner when a totally unexpected feeling swept over me.  I felt like I had let my parents down. I was the older one and always taught to look after my little sister Pam.

Pam and I were two and a half years apart, so she was my little sister for over twelve years before our littlest sister Linda was born. I felt this immense feeling that I didn’t do enough to protect Pam–that I somehow failed her. I felt responsible. For a brief moment that night I felt I was to blame.
As I stepped into the hallway, I swooned. Thank goodness, I was alone. The wall held me up; and I composed myself before Pam’s kids saw it. They needed strength to lean on not someone collapsing herself. I think I swept the guilt aside, worrying more about Pam’s kids.

I haven’t felt this again since that night. Thankfully, my mind quickly let it go; but I feel now this was simply ‘guilt’.

A week later after Pam died, her little granddaughter was born. Our other sister Linda was there to take Pam’s place. She spent a week with Pam’s daughter, son-in-law, and new grandbaby doing what Pam had planned to do.

Several weeks after that, I finally held little Courtney in my arms for the first time, And I felt that it was all wrong. I felt guilty that I got the pleasure of touching that precious little child when Pam could not. It just wasn’t fair, and I was totally unprepared for how I felt.

Baby

Pam’s Grandbaby


I can’t seem to place these two emotions in any of the five steps of grieving, so I believe another step may be ‘guilt’.

 

A Plan For Overcoming Loss and Grief

While I researched the different steps of grief, I found a “Nine Step Action Plan for Overcoming Grief and Loss” by Dr. Phil. I found it helpful, and I found where I unknowingly used several of these steps to help me deal with my loss.
Chuck feels that our bodies and minds are wired due to evolution–wired to survive, to cope with whatever comes our way. He thinks that is why I unknowingly followed some of Dr. Phil’s nine-step action plan, that some of us are hard wired to handle grief better than others.

 

Daytime is Easier Because I Keep Busy

I try not to dwell on what happened, and I keep busy which isn’t too hard for me to do. Dr. Phil thinks this is an important part of not letting myself get stuck. If anything, my husband always encourages me to slow down and smell the roses more. But still I have to sleep, and that’s when my unconscious thought takes over.

So I try to take one day at a time. I try to stay out of my head. I know that I just need more time, and I try to stay busy.  Grief is hard work.

Still, though, it bothers me that she’s gone; and I’m still here. You see? Pam passed out of turn. I’m the older one, and I should have been next.

And there’s that guilt thing again.

Siblings

Me and Pam

What the Bible Says About Rest & Our Health

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health, Uncategorized 6 Comments

Rest sometimes escapes me. Even now that I’m retired, I find myself pushing too hard–to finish a post even if it is approaching midnight, to keep up with every tweet and Facebook post, to simply over achieve.

Now days, I only have myself to blame. I’ve always been a self starter, but there’s no boss other than myself now. I don’t rest enough. I stay up later than I should, and seldom a day goes by that I don’t work on this blog or the book.

I know better about over working myself. The first time I suffered physically from not getting enough rest was when I worked for the Florida Game and Fresh Water Fish Commission back in the 1990s. I worked long hours, because that was what it took to get the job done.

Lady with an alligator

Working for Game & Fish

I remember realizing when my health started suffering. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, I internalized a lot of negativity and eventually lost touch with my own body. The lack of rest resulted in much emotional turmoil.
I became the worst version of my own self. I went from being simply stressed, to tired, to mentally slow and finally physically vulnerable.

I developed back problems, I gained weight, and I became chronically tired. I felt like an old woman. even though I was barely 45. I finally quit the job that maybe I loved too much.

Cabinet Meeting

Cabinet Meeting for Agriculture in the Classroom

Recently, our interim pastor David Garnet brought us a sermon about the sabbath and what the Bible says about this special day of rest. This concept, though certainly not new, was something that stuck in my mind for some time afterwards. It made me rethink myself.

Trinity Presbyterian in Atlanta

I remember Sunday’s when I was growing up. It meant getting up and getting dressed up, then going to Sunday School and church services. Afterwards, it could be dinner on the grounds, which was simply a big assortment of covered dishes brought by the church ladies. There was no better eating than maybe my Grandma’s own cooking.

Easter around 1964

Easter around 1964

Or we would go to my grandparent’s to eat Sunday dinner and then sit a spell and enjoy one another. Granddaddy would likely wonder off for a nap, and we would play outside with Grandma’s neighborhood kids.

My best friend Brenda Cone lived next door. Later, we went home and Mom and Dad relaxed and visited with each other or friends who dropped by. Occasionally, they took us down to the river to swim.

Somewhere since then, my Sunday’s became full of other things like sleeping in, shopping, or catching up on a project needed for Monday. In time Sunday became like all the rest of the days, and it got so bad that I frequently slipped back down to the office to catch up.

I know that the sabbath wasn’t the same for my ancestors. About fifteen years ago I had an opportunity to interview a 97-year old cousin, who grew up in our family not too far from where I was raised. She made me realize that my forebear’s sabbath was very different.

Sunday’s of yesterday especially in rural areas, that is until the invention of automobiles, were usually church meetings that met only once a month. She said that they didn’t have a full-time pastor, and that he just came around once a month. I know from interviews that this was typical in the rural parts of our country, where most people lived a hundred years ago.

I asked her if she remembered them meeting in between these visits, but she said no, just once a month. I should have asked her how the other Sundays went, but didn’t. I think they probably rested, though, much like my parents and grandparents did.

I’ve always looked upon the sabbath as something for God, to praise him…by keeping it holy; but Pastor Garnet talked to us about what Jesus taught. Jesus said that the Sabbath was meant for man, not for God.

A Tree of Crosses

Our pastor said that the origin of the word ‘sabbath’ is a little unclear, but the Hebrew word sabbat seems to have been derived from the verb sabat, meaning to stop or to cease. Its theological meaning is rooted in God’s rest following the six days of creation.

So because words like this intrigue me, I went looking for more information. Most religious leaders say that rest is essential for the soul. Not only do Jews and Christians believe in this, but also those of Buddhism, Islam, Baha’i, and even Wiccan (among others) teach the importance of setting aside a period of time for rest. Our soul requires rest.

Our pastor showed us several passages from the Bible about the sabbath, but three were of special interest. In the Old Testament we are told to remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.   

It says, “Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord God; in it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your manservant, or your maidservant, or your cattle, or the sojourner who is within your gates; for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it.”

Two thoughts here.  First, this is exactly what I thought the sabbath was. Second, did this mean that the wife didn’t get a day off? It looks like everyone else in the family and even the guests, cattle and servants got the day off, but why not the wife. This is in Exodus 20.

By the way the part about keeping the sabbath holy was the 4th of the 10 Commandments. All of this was in the Old Testament.

By the time of the New Testament, though, the Priests had added all kinds of rules and regulations for the sabbath, so Jesus added his own interpretation.

In Mark 2:27 “Jesus said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.” He went on to explain, “so if your heart isn’t a heart for man—if it is not a heart of love—you cannot see the meaning of the sabbath. For the sabbath is a gift of love to meet man’s needs, not an oppressive burden to make him miserable or proud.”

Today, many of us put too much emphasis on ‘doing’ and not enough on ‘resting’. We push, push, push until we become stressed out and incapable of being our best. I’m as guilty as anyone. Even now in retirement I do not take enough restful time for recharging.

Pushing my body into overdrive makes for a stiff neck and a dull throb in my shoulder muscles. It also causes digestive malfunctions such as gas, bloating, acid reflux and all the symptoms that accompany  an imbalance of good and bad gut flora.  And some of the new studies are showing that a lot of our allergies and skin conditions trace to this, as well.

When I worked for Game & Fish, I developed hormonal havoc and later learned that the constant pulses of cortisol and adrenalin being pumped through my blood boosted this causing adrenal exhaustion and an overall hormonal imbalance that led to even nastier complications such as the weight gain mentioned earlier, but also estrogen dominance and chronic fatigue.

 

Florida's Capitol 4th Floor

The 4th Floor of Florida’s Capitol between the House & the Senate

I was lucky that I stopped when I did because it could have also led to depression, insulin resistance (stress has a direct impact on your blood sugar levels), and even fertility issues.

And did you know that the it can accelerate the ageing process! Like wrinkles!!

Deep down I knew that I could come back later in a more productive and enhanced way to do my work, but I pushed on undaunted and unrested anyway. And people like us are everywhere–moms, students, office workers engineers, lawyers, truck drivers, store managers, and even retirees.

So keeping the sabbath was simply God’s wish for me, because I simply need to rest.

Rest allows my physical muscles to repair themselves and to prevent injury.

Rest is needed to form and maintain deeper relationships. It can provide time for us to visit and to enjoy each other’s company. Long talks help build community, whether it is family or the neighbors down the street. It is hard to do this while driving the kids around or while shopping at the mall.

Chuck meets Thomas for the first time.

Chuck meets Thomas for the first time.

I believe that when I finally learn to relax again that I will actually be more present and have more energy for myself, my friends and my family. I also believe it will help with better clarity of mind for when I do work.

Learning to Relax

Learning to Relax

I have been stressing over growing my social media sites for this blog. I spend far too much time trying to turn this corner.

I believe that I need to get myself back to being a more centered and well-rounded individual. I need to stop focusing on what I don’t have and start enjoying the things that I do–my family, my friends and life in general.

When a Myth Can Cost a Life

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health 6 Comments

How can a simple mistake or a basic myth cost a life?  I’ll explain.

I just lost my best friend of 59 plus years.  She was only 59, and I’ve known her for…well for….59 years.  We didn’t have a fight, though we did get in fights from time to time. Sometimes, it was simply fighting over a Barbie doll dress, while other times it was fighting over whether I had the right to talk badly about her future ex-husband.

She left before she said goodbye, though I did get to tell her goodbye.  I just don’t know if she heard me.

Ever since she left, my mind has been racing from one golden memory to the next.  And our common friends have been adding to those memories, thanks to phone calls and social media. There are stories about camping trips with our parents, lazy afternoons on the Wacissa River, roaming around Washington, DC with a teenaged nanny, and much much more.

Sisters at the Beach

Myself and Pam at Mexico Beach, Florida (1960)

My best friend was there for all the special moments in my life.  She was my maid of honor, and I was her matron of honor.  She was there when I had my children; and I was there when she had hers, all three of them.  I was almost there when her 20-year old daughter died, walking into the hospital room immediately after they took her off of life support.

1970s wedding

Pam, Linda & Me (1972)

 

I always worked outside of the home while she was a stay-at-home mom.  In the summer we met halfway between North Florida, where I lived, and Central Florida, where she had moved; and my girls went back with her to her house for a week.  This was something I was never able to reciprocate, and she never complained.  My girls loved it there.  She allowed all five of them (her three and my two)  to run free like wild Indians playing in the barn, through the line of citrus trees, and the pastures around her home.

We grew apart for some time when I thought her future ex-husband was mistreating her…when I just couldn’t understand why she didn’t throw him out like you would the trash.  Many times later, I looked the other way when she got me to ride downtown with her to get something from the grocery store.  We often drove a circuitous route through neighborhoods, her looking for his truck parked where it shouldn’t have been.  I acted like it was normal, though he was never at home nor was he ever there physically or emotionally for her or the children either.

Pam

Pam (about 1990)

She was mechanically inclined.  She often fixed her own car.  While in high school, I remember coming home and finding her underneath her car.  I believe it had a transmission problem, that she could fix herself.  I think it had something to do with being a manual transmission that would slip out of gear.

And one time she changed out the windows in her own home.  My youngest daughter remembers this.  She said that Pam had trouble getting several of those windows to fit.  She said that Pam would bang on the window, curse some, and then back up to take a good look and rest before going at it again.   Her ex never did much of anything around the house, and she did just about everything without too much of a complaint.

Money was tight, but not too tight for him to spend all his vacation time away from her and the kids.  So she took her kids on vacations without him and was there for them for just about every event.  They went to the beach, to college football games, and to NASCAR races.

When their oldest daughter died at the age of 20, Pam cried but never wavered.  She didn’t turn to drugs or alcohol.  She was the rock that held her family together; and when her kids left home, her husband left her, too.

A Mother & Her Son

Pam and her son (2009)

As her big sister, I wanted to kick his ass; but deep inside I knew that this was probably the best thing that could have happened to Pam.  Hers had been a lonely life.  I thought that maybe now she would move on and find someone who would love her and treat her like she deserved.

She was devastated but picked up her life and did well without him.  I was so proud of her.  Living well was her best revenge.  She moved to another state where no family was nearby and bought a home.  She was happy, especially when both children moved up there with her.

Finally, I celebrated for her when she met someone new who treated her with the kindness and respect she deserved.  They married less than a year ago while in Hawaii.  They came back married and excited about their new life together.

Hawaiian Wedding Photo

Pam and Mike’s Wedding, 2015

The Flu

Three weeks ago, my sister Pam came down with the flu; but this wasn’t just the standard flu, it was H1N1, also known as swine flu.  She got sicker and went to a walk-in clinic after hours.  They recommended she go to the hospital, but she said she felt fine and went home with a Z-Pak for the infection in her lungs.  She also had a touch of pneumonia.

While waiting for the Z-Pak to take effect, she got sicker until her husband took her to the hospital.  Problem was, the flu and pneumonia had already done a lot of damage.  She was already in Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome or ARDS.  She was moved to a research hospital, where they put her on a ventilator; but her body was never able to repair itself.  She was on that ventilator for over two weeks, almost always unconscious.  Earlier they had her sedated in a drug-induced coma so she couldn’t fight the tubes running down her throat.  Later, they tried to bring her back; but delirium created, even more, problems.  In the end, her lungs were irreversibly damaged, and she finally died.

My sister was a strong, healthy 59-year old.  She was full of life, and I believe she thought that she just had the flu and would be fine in a few days.  I believed in her, too.  I never once, until close to the end, thought that she couldn’t beat this thing.

Bungee Jump Harness Photo

Mike and Pam did some sort of bungee jump in Vegas. (2014)

Pam failed to get her flu shot last Fall when her husband had gotten one and came down sick.  She thought he had gotten the flu from the shot, a myth that all too many people believe.  So she decided against getting her shot, the first time in many years.

This is probably the #1 myth about the flu shot.  You cannot catch the flu from the flu shot. The vaccine is made from an inactivated virus that cannot transmit infection. So people who get sick after receiving a flu vaccination were going to get sick anyway.  My sister paid for this myth with her life.

Because of this myth, her two-year-old granddaughter will not remember her sweet Grandmother, and Pam’s daughter’s unborn child won’t know her either.

Toddler

Pam’s Granddaughter when she was one.

Which brings me to another great sadness.  Pam’s daughter was 40 months pregnant at Pam’s funeral.  She was already having contractions.  Pam was supposed to be with Kris when Kris brought the baby home from the hospital.  Instead, my youngest sister Linda filled in for Pam.   Her little granddaughter was born one week after she died.

Newborn Girl

Pam’s Newborn Granddaughter at Birth

And all this sadness, because Pam believed the myth, that she could get the flu from a flu shot.

My sisters: Myself, Linda & Pam

My sisters: Myself, Linda & Pam

Top 5 Supplements You Should Be Taking When You Are Middle Aged or Older

by Filed Under: Health, Nutrition & Diet 1 Comment

As many of you know, I have a special doctor who is truly most interested in preventing health problems in the future for me and my husband.  Recently, Chuck and I attended one of Dr. Leslie Emhoff’s seminars; and this one was about supplements and what we should be taking for optimal health.

 

Doctor

 

Here is a list of his recommended top five:

1.  Vitamin D3–  This essential vitamin lowers risks of heart disease, cancers, stroke, diabetes, Parkinson’s, weight gain, depression, and death. It may also help reverse muscle mass loss in menopausal women (Sao Paulo). After menopause, both vitamin D and magnesium deficiencies are a problem for women. When taking Vitamin D, we are less likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer’s. Vitamin D deficiency could also be linked to Type 1 diabetes and allergies. 5,000-10,000 IU is his recommendation for daily use.

2. Probiotics – counteract inflammation and produce a ton of micronutrients that your body needs. 80% of your melatonin is produced in your gut; so if your gut is messed up, you have a problem. He suggested 50 billion units. And do not make the mistake I did and take it out of its capsule to pour its contents in your smoothie. Take the capsule whole. I take mine early in the morning.

3. Curcumin (turmeric). This supplement fights inflammation, which they are finding leads to dementia. It helps create cell growth in the brain and can stimulate neuron connections.    It expresses genes, when stress and toxins are a problem. It helps turn on good genes and turn off the bad ones. Suggested use: 500-800 mg extract daily.

4. Magnesium – depletion of this leads to diabetes, fatigue, migraines, osteoporosis, plus many more problems. Magnesium activates over 300 enzymes in our bodies.   Chronic stress and aging lead to lower levels. Highly processed foods add to why our levels are so low today.   It is also further depleted by soft drinks and sweets.   Magnesium affects cellular energy production. The magnesium levels in our bodies are hard to measure because only 1% of it is in our blood.  Make sure it is citrate, so your body will absorb it.  Magnesium oxide does not work at all for me.  I’ve read that other forms of magnesium are a problem, too.  250-700 magnesium citrate at bedtime.

Don’t make my mistake.  I used to take mine in the morning and kept getting sleepy by early afternoon.  It affects your circadian rhythm.  I took magnesium to help me sleep better.  I wrote an earlier post on this called How Our Circadian Rhythms Affect Our Ability to Sleep

5. Vitamin K2 – modulates.  It is the traffic director for calcium.  It keeps it out of your blood stream and directs it into your bones.  It is usually manufactured by probiotics in your gut. We get it naturally from fermented products like sauerkraut. 90-100 mcg a day

Wellness medicine is different from illness medicine.  My doctor refocused his practice not just to diagnose and treat illness, but to also deliver personalized preventative health care. This seminar on what supplements we should be taking was part of his new focus.

 

Apple A Day

How To Stay On A Good Diet!

by Filed Under: Nutrition & Diet 2 Comments

Breakfast can help you maintain a good nutritional diet.  Here’s a nutritious recipe for my Egg & Tomato Florentine Stack.  It can help you maintain a good diet for the rest of your day, which means it can help you maintain your New Year’s resolution for eating better.

Breakfast is my most important meal of the day.  No matter how badly I did with my nutritional or exercise needs the day before, I can always start fresh and anew with breakfast.

So what was bad for me the day before?  Well, eating more than the portion I had allotted myself for a dessert.  Not getting around to the weights I needed to lift?  Not getting out and walking for my load bearing and aerobic exercise.  Eating more than my allotted portion of just about anything.  Having that second alcoholic drink in a day.  The list is always numerous.

It is always, always a struggle.

But I’ve learned over the years that I am best in the early morning.  My willpower is at its peak then.  And if I eat right during breakfast, I’m more likely to do better for the rest of the day.

Rule #1 is to always ALWAYS eat breakfast, no matter what the circumstances.  I cannot remember the last time I skipped breakfast, and I was a very busy business woman.  During the legislative sessions in Florida, I was in the Capitol many days by 6 to 7 a.m.; and frequently we worked until late into the evening for several days in a row at a time.  I always ate a good breakfast, no matter what.  It was a good start to every day.

Rule #2 is to always eat a good balanced breakfast.  I try to eat at least one egg for breakfast.  Usually I just fry it up in coconut oil and eat an egg, but during the past few years I’ve been adding extras.  Lately, those extras added are what I call “a breakfast stack”.  My favorite breakfast stack is spinach, tomato, goat cheese and egg.  My recipe follows this post.

I add to my stack a glass of whole milk and a piece of fruit, which is mostly mixed together in a smoothie.  I wrote a post about this earlier, and you can find it here.

Finally, I have a piece of sprouted whole grain toast with some real butter.  I sincerely believe that all the diets that cut out real fats had it all wrong.  I believe that if you cut out the fats, you’ll be hungry for the rest of the day.

I now drink whole milk and use real butter.  I no longer buy cheese made with skim milk.  I changed this in my diet over a year ago, and I’ve been checked by my doctor at least twice now.  My cholesterol has not increased, and my weight has maintained itself within a coule of pounds of what I consider my optimal weight.

Rule #3 is to always relax while I eat.  I give myself about 20 minutes.  Back when I worked, sometimes I didn’t get the full 20 minutes; but I always tried, even if I had to get up earlier.  It was worth it.  Those de-stressing moments set me up for a more relaxed day ahead.

Below is my breakfast stack.  It is easy and takes less than 10 minutes to make (probably closer to five but I’ve never timed it.)
Eggs and Tomato Florentine Stack

Ingredients needed:   one egg, some goat cheese crumbles, a handful of fresh spinach, coconut oil spray, and two slices of tomato.

  1.  Take a small frying pan, turn the heat on medium high, spray with coconut oil spray and stir fry a handful of spinach until it wilts.  Add it to your plate.  By the way the other day Chuck passed through the kitchen while I was doing this and said, “You know you’re just frying leaves there.”  Funny man.

spinach and tomatoes

2. Next, spray again and fry up the two slices of tomato on medium high heat.  Turn once and when the tomatoes get a little soggy, remove them and stack the two slices side by side on top of your spinach.

I use a variety of tomato that is near and dear to me, plus in my opinion it is the best tasting tomato in the nation.  I used to work for and represent the Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (aka IFAS) at the University of Florida.  For years our nation’s food scientists bred tomatoes so that they would withstand the rigors of shipping, until they eventually bred out the gene that made tomatoes taste good.

Years ago, though, while I was working for IFAS the scientists there began working on breeding a tomato that tasted good.  The result is the “Tasti-Lee” tomato.  Finally, a commercial tomato that tastes juicy and sweet like a tomato should.  Commercial is important because it means that you can find this tomato in your grocery store on a regular basis.

Tasti-Lee
I buy mine from Publix a grocery store here in the south, but I’m sure it can be found in lots of others.  This tomato is good!

hot tomatoes on spinach

3.  Before you go to the next step and while the tomatoes are hot, sprinkle a few goat cheese sprinkles over the slices of tomatoes.  Also, between each step remove your frying pan from the heat so it doesn’t get too hot.  You may have to experiment with this.  Every cook stove is different.

adding a fried egg

4.  Spray your pan again and add your egg.  I usually pierce the yellow, because you don’t want it runny.  I just pierce it with the edge of my cracked egg.  I’m a firm believer in saving on washing dishes.

Fry the egg well, turning once.   Then stack the fried egg on top of the goat cheese.  The egg will continue to melt the cheese.

egg and tomatoe florentine

Voila!  You’re done.

Usually, I compile the smoothie before I make my stack.  I just don ‘t blend it until I’m ready to eat.

Also, the plate you see above is one of my salad plates.  Years ago I realized that my mother’s dinner plates were the size of my current salad plates.  I’ve been eating on a salad plate ever since.  It helps me with portion control.

Also, when I put the egg on to fry, I start the toaster.  Everything gets done about the same time; and I get to sit down, relax, and read something while I eat breakfast.

I have always tried to never read work-related materials during breakfast.  I usually do some type of devotional.  Right now I’m reading the books of the Bible that didn’t make the Protestant cut for the King James Version.  Interesting reading, actually.  I always wondered about the historical breaks in the Bible.  Some of these books cover those breaks.  I only read one chapter and if I finish, I go on to reading a book for pleasure which is always on my Kindle.

Right now I’m reading a book about an incident in Old Florida.  The book is entitled “Shadow Country” by Peter Matthiessen.    The setting is the ten thousand islands on the southwest coast of Florida during the 1800s after the Civil War.  This was a common place to go for people running from the law.  The main character is Ed Watson, a Florida native who was said to have killed Belle Starr in Arkansas.

I vary the ingredients in my smoothies and stacks. For my stacks sometimes I have regular good old grits (can’t help it, I’m from the south), with my egg and tomatoes stacked on top.  I’ve also added other cheeses, according to my stack.  Cheddar cheese is better with my grits and egg stack.  Oh and I only allow myself one portion of grits when I do this.  That means what will fit in the palm of my hand.

And I never allow myself to eat a pastry of any kind for breakfast. That is probably my worst breakfast ever. It absolutely sets me up to fail over and over again all day long. And I absolutely love the stuff. I have a sweet tooth that will always win if I keep that stuff in my home.

What I get from my breakfast stack and reading is a really good start to my day!  I am more likely to take good care of myself and more likely to maintain a good diet throughout the remainder of the day.

A Different Type of Doctor – Part I

by Filed Under: Health Leave a Comment

I have this special doctor in Tallahassee named Leslie Emhoff.  He is special because he does a great job of staying up to date on the latest developments in medicine and wellness.  He provides me with good health choices.

Below is a quote from him that I found on his website.

“I don’t just believe in wellness, I try to live it personally and professionally and stay informed of the latest developments in medicine and wellness. I’m not just a physician, I’m a health coach. Become an informed participant in your own health care. This involves more than improving your diet or beginning a long overdue exercise program. It involves partnering with your physician to understand what you – and your own unique body – need to sustain a full and rewarding life.”  – Leslie Emhoff, MD

Dr. Emhoff ran several tests on me and then made suggestions for my diet, exercise and much more.  He didn’t make many suggestions for changes in my diet, but he did recommend a major change in my exercise routine.

I take yoga twice a week, but he noticed while testing me that my fat to muscle ratio was too high.  He recommended lifting some light weights — no more than 10-15 pds–both arms and legs.  He also recommended a little more cardio.

So I added two days of about 15 minutes each of weight work and two days of some type of cardio.  For example, this past weekend we watched our grandson Thomas while his parents were out of town.  We played ball with him and played tag.  That was my cardio for the week.  Done.

More specifically for the weights it was suggested that I choose three different muscle groups and using dumbbells or Kettlebells do three sets of 10-12 reps for each muscle group, resting between each set.  As stated before, it can be done in 15 minutes for the entire workout, 2 to 3 sessions per week.  I do two sessions each week..

Here’s where my diet came into play.  He suggested I avoid sugar and grains to maximize the fat burn and optimize insulin sensitivity to get to my goal quicker.  Now this is getting serious.  Did I tell you that I love breads and desserts.  Well, I do.  Sigh!

But I can tell exactly when I’m off the wagon for this one.  Within a day after I add back the sugar and grains, my muffin top magically appears almost overnight.  I think that it is the result of a decrease in my body’s ability to handle insulin.  Another sign of old age.  Double Sigh!

He talked to me about how our brains tend to lose some of their ability to burn glucose as we age.

He said that the current food pyramid is way off base–that I should be getting 50-55% from good fats, 25% from protein and 20% from “complex” carbs.  I’m still trying to figure out where the desserts fit into this pyramid.?.  Maybe, it is in the 5% that floats between “complex” carbs and good fats.

In his testing he did find some evidence of hardening of the arteries in my EKG and recommended Vitamin K2 (90-100 mcg twice a day).   He said that this keeps calcium out of the blood vessels and directs it to the bones.

He also said that my CRP (C-Reactive Protein test) was minimally elevated, and that this was a general measure of inflammation in my system.  Again, he recommended avoiding refined sugar, white carbs and most grains as these are inflammatory to my system.  There goes another strike against my bread and desserts.  Three Sighs Here.  He added Turmeric 700-900 mg twice daily for its anti-inflammatory properties.

In conclusion he said that my body composition analysis indicated a need to reduce fat content and increase muscle mass.  He wanted me to lose about 15 pounds of fat and gain 2-4 pounds of muscle in primarily my core and lower extremities.  He also wanted me to work harder at reducing inflammation in my body. So there you have it–my marching orders in a nutshell.

My doctor is an MD-VIP doctor, which is a personalized healthcare program.  You can read more about it here.  Traditional practices need to see 2,000 patients or more a day, but this organization ensures that each MDVIP-affiliated doctor cares for 600 patients or fewer.  I pay an annual fee for this.

Because he sees less patients, this means I receive extra time and attention from Dr. Emhoff.  I also believe this is what gives him more time to stay up to date on the latest information in medicine.

He wanted me to take these suggestions and try them for a couple of months.  Afterwards, he wanted to see me again to assess my progress.

I’ll let you know how it goes–as soon as I find that cookie that I hid from myself yesterday.  Just kidding.  I’ll post Part II in a couple of weeks.

How Our Circadian Rhythms Affect Our Ability to Sleep

by Filed Under: Health, Nutrition & Diet 3 Comments

When I read the book “Younger Next Year”, it suggested that I take a dietary supplement called Seriphos for adrenal support.  Since both my parents died from adrenal conditions–mom with diabetes and dad from pancreatic cancer, I worried that my family’s adrenal glands might be the weak link in our bodies.  So I bought a bottle and started taking Seriphos.

I noticed two changes after several weeks, though I didn’t connect either with Seriphos.  First, I slept well before Seriphos; but now I’m sleeping hard all through the night.  Second, I get so sleepy after lunch that I cannot hold my eyes open.  Otherwise, no change.  I finally ran out of the supplement.  Before purchasing another bottle, I decided to google it and learn more about it.   I’m glad I did.

By the way, Chuck has no trouble sleeping at all.  One morning I woke up and here is how he was sleeping.  I thought he was so sleepy the night before that he went to bed with his ball cap on.  I was thinking, “How did it stay on all night?  Did he not move?”   Turns out he got up early and then decided to go back to bed.  But I digress.

Chuck sleeping

I found a very interesting article which really helped me fully understand what this supplement does. I also read up on its ingredients. For example, it contains magnesium.  Entitled “What to do if You Can’t Sleep” by Dr. Brian Foley, you can find it here.

Most importantly, though, it showed me that I had been taking Seriphos at the wrong time of the day.  I had been taking it early in the morning before eating breakfast.  The bottle said to take it daily with water 15 minutes before a meal.  I took it as soon as I woke up in the morning.   This article, though, says that I need to take it just before bedtime, and this timing is done for a reason that they explain very well.

I found that the  adrenal glands  are part of the sleep cycle, something I really didn’t understand.  The glands produce a hormone called cortisol which helps support our body’s circadian rhythm. In the morning our cortisol should be at it’s highest. This is what wakes you up and gets you going.

At noon the cortisol  level should drop somewhat. If the cortisol drops too much you will get that afternoon slump and feel like you want to take a nap; and this is why I was getting so sleepy in the afternoons.  I was taking Seriphos in the morning, which drove down my cortisol far too early in the day.

But back to the article.  It said that in the evening your cortisol level should drop slightly again and at bed time it should be at it’s lowest. This is so you feel tired and sleepy. I guess by this time all my cortisol was practically gone, so I slept really well.

To finish the cycle, the article said that during sleep the cortisol should gradually increase until it reaches its peak in the morning when it is time to get up.  It is this burst of cortisol that wakes us.

It seems that our circadian rhythm can get all “messed up” due to stress, work hours and staying up too late, like being on the computer or watching TV. It even said that worrying about things or drinking too much caffeine close to bed time can cause our cortisol levels to stay elevated.

Once the circadian rhythm is out of sink you will not be able to get into that deep healing/fat burning sleep.

So I’m buying another bottle, but I’ll take it in the evenings now.

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