OLD AGE IS NOT FOR SISSIES

NOTHING IN LIFE IS TO BE FEARED

Why It is Important to Understand Frailty—Part 2

by Filed Under: Health

Earlier I did a blog post about how our bodies begin to lose muscle mass while we are in our 30s and that loss of muscle mass is how we become frail as we age.  You can read it here.

This is part 2 of the two-part post on frailty. In the first part we discussed the definition of frailty, how it affects us as we age, and the very important symptom of muscle mass loss. In this part, we’ll talk more about muscle mass, what to look for, and how to reverse its loss. We will also discuss how doctor’s measure frailty.

What I’m Doing Now

As mentioned in part 1, the primary treatment for loss of muscle mass is exercise, mostly resistance training or strength training, so I joined a gym and bought weights for my home.  If I failed to make it to the gym, I tried to lift weights at home in the evening.

I also tried to increase muscle strength and endurance by other means, such as carrying bags of grocery instead of using a cart and by unloading them myself instead of asking for help.  I tried to pick up my own bags of fertilizer, straw bales, etc. when gardening.

The other night I moved my own furniture like I used to do.  I compete with my husband to handle my own luggage.  He’s always worried I’ll hurt my back. I try to take stairs and ride my bike twice a week on the hills of Tallahassee.

At the next appointment, Dr. Emhof noticed an increase in muscle mass in my arms and chest, but I was still lacking from the waist down.  I had to do all this and do at least four exercises just for my hips and thighs.  Finally, my legs responded.  Dr. Emhoff is pleased, and I don’t have to go see him every three months now.

But Frailty is More Than Muscle Loss

Our fifties trigger lots of problems. When we get to our fifties, the risk of heart disease increases along with problems such as cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes.  If you are a smoker, this is when it really catches up with you, holding your body back from repairing itself as it did in the past.

Degrees of Frailty

Remember the discussion earlier about how frailty increases about the time we get to be 75?  That downward spiral accelerates if we don’t begin to worry about our muscle mass and our heart by our fifties.

Doctors Use An Index to Determine How Frail We Are

So frailty is when we have many things wrong with us. When your doctor notices this, a geriatric assessment is made and he counts the number of things we have wrong or the number of deficits. It shows how fit or frail we are. There is a frailty index to help them determine to what extent one is frail.

The medical community measures frailty several ways, but two stand out.

Fried et al in “Frailty in Older Adults: Evidence for a Phenotype” defines frailty as an imbalance of the “physiologic triad” of sarcopenia, immune, and neuroendocrine regulation. The latter is a big word, but our nervous system and our endocrine system work together to regulate the physiological processes of our body, otherwise known as homeostasis. It regulates reproduction, energy utilization, blood pressure, our metabolism, and much more.

Using this index, patients are considered frail if they have three or more of the following:

• Reduced activity; maybe even a slower gait

• Slowing of mobility

• Weight loss, such as an unintentional loss of ten pounds or more during the past year

• Diminished handgrip strength

• Exhaustion

Someone who has only one or two of these items is said to be “pre-frail”; someone with none is said to be “robust”. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t plan to get anywhere near my doctor when I’m having a bad back day.

The assessment takes about fifteen minutes.

Another way to measure is The Frailty Index which is based on the concept that frailty is a consequence of interacting physical, psychological, and social factors. It was developed by Dr. Kenneth Rockwood and Dr. Arnold Mitnitski at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.

Frailty Index (FI) = (number of health deficits present) ÷ (number of health deficits measured. These deficits include diseases, signs, symptoms, laboratory abnormalities, cognitive impairments, and disabilities in activities of daily living.

As these deficits accumulate, people become more vulnerable to unfavorable outcomes. In short, this frailty index is based on a comprehensive geriatric assessment. It includes functional dependencies as deficits, such as say the patient needs help dressing.

My Cousin

I have a cousin, an octogenarian, who took to her chair and later her bed due to rheumatoid arthritis. She looked as if a puff of wind could blow her over.  Her gait was slow and unsteady, and later she hardly rose from her chair. On my last visit she took to her bed–never getting up again. Hers was a classic case of frailty.

So as you can see and as I learned, the word frail means so much more.  It is important to realize that the whole person is in a process of aging, and it is a very dynamic process.  Some of us will be helped by knowing and will try to keep ourselves from going farther down the index.

For all the rest of us.  It is good to remember what one doctor said–that there seems to be a natural order of life. When we are well, we walk around a lot. And when we get sick, we move around less.

When we really get ill, we may take to our bed. And at some point, we might not get out. And finally just before we die, we hardly move at all.

Another doctor noted that people fail in predictable ways.

Why It is Important to Understand Frailty—Whether You are 30, 50 or 75

by Filed Under: Health, It's Not For Sissies

Loss of muscle mass begins early. We lose as much as 3% to 5% of muscle mass each decade after age 30. Frailty is the top reason seniors seek medical care.

Did you know that U.S. seniors use more of all healthcare-related spending than any over demographic–about 34%. Yet we only make up about 15% of the population here. Frailty is the #1 reason seniors seek medical care.

But what is frailty? This is part 1 of a two-part post. In the first part, we’ll look at the definition of frailty, how it affects us as we age, and one important symptom. In part 2, we’ll focus on how it is diagnosed.

What Frailty Means to the Public

To most of us, frailty simply means a person who is weakening, and who is less able to take care of their own needs. The dictionary agrees and simply says that frailty is a condition of being weak and delicate.

In reality, though, frailty begins much earlier than our senior years; and the medical community has a much more extensive and complex definition.

What Frailty Means to the Medical Community

According to the Review Annales de Gerontologie, Authors Jean-Pierre Michel. Pierre-Olivier Lang, and Dina Zekry say that “Frailty is an extended process of increasing vulnerability, predisposing [one] to functional decline and ultimately leading to death. The clinician encounters different presentations of frailty, because of the combination of factors such (as) age, gender, lifestyle, socio-economic background, co-morbidities, and affective, cognitive, or sensory impairments.“

Frailty is a condition, a medical syndrome, or a group of symptoms that collectively characterize it as a disease. It is also important to understand that some elderly never get frail.

How Does Frailty Affect Old Age

Frailty appears as an age-related physical vulnerability resulting from an impaired homeostatic reserve.  Homeostasis here means the tendency of the body to maintain stability as it compensates for changes such as diseases, broken bones, etc. This word (homeostasis) will be used repeatedly throughout this post.

The body is a marvelous machine, always repairing itself; but as our body becomes less able to withstand stress, it becomes unstable, leading to a higher risk of frailty-related complications such as falls, functional decline, multiple medications, an increased risk of hospitalization, cross infection, institutionalization, and eventually death.

One is pre-frail when one has physiological reserves sufficient to respond adequately to acute diseases, injury, or stress. Here, the patient recovers completely.

One is frail, though, when one has incomplete recovery after any new acute disease, injury, or stress. I have recurring back problems and using this definition; I wonder if I could be diagnosed as some degree of frail?

What my Doctor Prescribed

My doctor suggested that I was losing too much muscle mass. He prescribed drinking a protein shake immediately after any type of exercise, as well as lifting weights. He was especially concerned about my legs. You can read more about him here.

I paid attention to the problem, but decided that more walking would do the trick. I also ditched the protein powder. I was wrong. After three months, he measured, and I came up far short.

Dr. Emhof wanted to see me again in another three months to measure my progress. Each time, he used a body composition monitor to measure muscle mass throughout my body.

So in three months, I was back and had made only a little progress.  He stressed weight training again– five reps of 15 or more—about a 15-minute workout at least two times a week.  Begrudgingly, I joined a gym for the first time in twenty years.

What Leads to Loss of Muscle Mass

Loss of muscle mass begins early. As we engage in lesser activities, this leads to a loss of as much as 3% to 5% of muscle mass each decade after age 30. This lessens our strength and mobility.

Remember the term homeostasis? Well, our body’s damage repair processes start out superb, but as time goes by the damages accumulate. The repair process wanes. As a lot of things go wrong, everything doubles and the body cannot repair itself.

According to medical science, our muscles grow and strengthen until about age 30, but then the process reverses itself. We lose muscle mass and function, losing some muscle mass even if we remain active.

What does Loss of Muscle Mass Lead to

The medical term for this is sarcopenia, and this process typically happens faster around the age of 75, though it can begin as early as 65. Loss of muscle mass is a characteristic of frailty.

Also around the age of 75, a person’s overall health can spiral downward, leading to weakness and loss of stamina. Physical inactivity increases and muscle mass declines faster. This is most prevalent in those of us who are inactive, but it can affect active adults too.

This causes other symptoms, such as a reduction of the nerve cells that normally signal our brain to begin movement. There can also be a decrease in hormones, such as testosterone. Loss of muscle mass can lead to a body’s inability to turn protein into energy, and even more important, an inability to get enough protein and calories a day to build body mass. We notice this when an individual stops eating and begins to lose weight.

In the next segment of this post, we’ll talk more about muscle mass, what to look for, and how to reverse its loss. We will also talk about how doctors measure frailty.

Do you worry about being frail and losing your strength and balance as you get older? Is the loss of muscle mass something that is affecting you in your 60s? Please share your observations in the comments below.

Confessions of a Woman Who Wears Hearing Aids

by Filed Under: Health, It's Not For Sissies

Not many people know it, (and now everyone will), but I occasionally wear hearing aids.

Not for everyday use, but for when I am in a crowded situation where people have to talk and listen to each other.

I got my hearing aids about two years before I retired, and I’ve been retired a little over three years now.

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A Pixabay Photo

Why Hearing Aids

I noticed that I struggled to hear everyone, especially in a meeting with 15 to 25 people sitting around a large table or in a noisy restaurant. It was imperative at the time that I be able to hear the conversations in order to respond, in order to do my job; but I was losing that ability.

Since then I’ve learned that anyone older than 45 has a one in five chance of suffering some degree of hearing loss. That increases to one in three by the age of 65. By 75, it is one in two. All of this is according to the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders.

I finally went to see an audiologist to have my hearing checked. She put me in a booth and asked if I could hear an entire range of frequencies. Finally, I was fitted for a pair of hearing aids, and my hearing aids were ordered.

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A Pixabay Photo

I learned that my hearing loss was in both ears, although my right one is worse than the left.

Two Types of Hearing Loss

Most hearing loss is sensorineural or caused by damage to the tiny hair cells that line our inner ears. These cells convert sound waves into electrical signals for our brains to decipher into meaningful sounds.

Aging plays an important role, but so could exposure to loud noises. Other reasons can be medications, illnesses, and a family history of hearing loss.

My Grandfather Gillespie lost his hearing as a child due to a childhood disease. All he could hear using hearing aids was vibrations. He used them and lip reading to understand us.

Sensorineural hearing loss is usually not reversible, but using hearing aids can help by selectively amplifying sounds. My hearing loss falls in this category. I shot guns for most of my life, first hunting with my father and later being a part of a Trap and Skeet League for competition.

We were encouraged to wear hearing protection, and required to do so during training and competition; but being young, immortal, and basically stupid, I ditched the requirement as soon as I was away from the referees. I shot a shotgun right handed and my biggest hearing loss is in my left ear, which is normal for a right-handed shooter.

I also loved my rock and roll loud. And I think you get the point.

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A Pixabay Photo

The other type of hearing loss is conductive. It occurs as a result of a physical blockage or malformation of the middle or outer ear. Something like impacted earwax or a fluid buildup from infection can block sound from reaching the inner ear. Most of the time this type of hearing loss is reversible.

Is Sensorineural Hearing Loss Reversible

The answer is no. I found out that once the hair cells in my inner ear were dead, there was no bringing them back. My hearing aids were fine-tuned to match my specific hearing-loss. I did not pay, though to have them syned wirelessly with my smartphone. They were expensive enough without this feature.

Mine is a mini-behind-the-ear model. It has a receiver in the ear canal. It attaches to the ear via a thin wire and an earmold or piece of soft material made to fit snugly in the ear and to channel sound. I find it comfortable and barely visible even with my short hair.

The only drawback is that wax buildup does occur on the earmold. I simply remove most of it with my fingers. This type of hearing device works best with my problems for hearing higher frequencies. The earpiece allows some sound in, which is good because I do not need help hearing the lower frequencies. Thankfully, I must have not turned the bass up on my car radio.

Buying Hearing Aids

Most insurance does not cover hearing aids. In the US Medicare Advantage, though, may cover them.

My aids came with a contract that allowed me to return them and get most of my money back if I was not satisfied. Ask about economy hearing aids and ask your provider to compare your performance on speech-in-noise tests using both a premium aid and an economy aid. Also ask your provider to check if your health insurance policy will pay. Some of you may even have a homeowner’s policy that will pay. Check yours.

See if your audiologist carries more than a few brands. It won’t hurt to ask for a lower-priced model. You can also ask for a price break by negotiating a lower price.

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A Pixabay Photo

Costco offers free screenings at select locations, and their prices are competitive. Did you know that 16 percent of all Americans buy their hearing aids from Costco? Certain Costco stores have an on-site audiologist or hearing specialist.

Buying aids online can help you save, too. I didn’t go this route, though, because I wondered how the adjustment phase would go. I also wondered if I would have to find a local hearing specialist to help me.

There are organizations that may offer help–governmental, state or independent groups like the Lions Club.

Finally, it is possible that the US Congress may help. According to a New York Times article Congress is considering an “over the counter” option. It reads, “That, at least, represents the future envisioned by supporters of the Over-the-Counter Hearing Aid Act of 2017, which would give the Food and Drug Administration three years to create a regulatory category for such devices and to establish standards for safety, effectiveness and labeling.” If this passes, the marketplace should kick in and prices could drop as low as say $300 per ear.

How Often Do I Wear Mine?

Now that I’m retired, I don’t use my hearing aids as often; but they stay in my purse, waiting for when I do need them. Normally, I get them out in noisy restaurants or when a person’s voice is at a frequency that I can’t hear well. I’ve gotten really quick at inserting them. I do it publicly and most people don’t notice; or if they do, they do not inquire.

 

I am also super careful about my hearing now. I don’t wear my hearing aids to concerts or to watch TV. For concerts, I wear good quality ear plugs. Guess what? They play the music so loud that I can hear them just fine. Amazing! I also make sure I wear protection when I work with firearms, as I still do from time to time.

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A Pixabay Photo

Here’s what I’ve noticed most about wearing my hearing aids. I get a lot of background noise that I’m not used to hearing. It’s amazing what sounds I pick up that I never noticed I lost. With my type of hearing loss it is the metallic sounds that I no longer hear well.

Also, if all the noise in a room is coming from one side, I only put a hearing aid in the other ear. I find that I can hear people better that way. Most hearing aids cannot completely remove background noise and allow you to hear people selectively. I guess you can surmise that using hearing aids is different for everyone.

Love the Quietness of Growing Old

There’s actually a positive side to hearing loss. My own has created an atmosphere that is overall quieter. I have to admit that I’m more comfortable without my hearing aids, but like the other day when I was at lunch with a table full of former lobbyists, I quickly realized I was having trouble understanding people so I got them out and inserted them in my ears. I could hear everyone just fine.

In closing there is a Hearing Aid Buying Guide that I found helpful. You can find it here. Good old ‘Consumer Reports’does it again. I’ve turned to them for help with all manner of our purchases.

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A Pixabay Photo

Being Sedentary Killed my Mother

by Filed Under: Health, It's Not For Sissies

It was a sedentary lifestyle; she chose. Around her mid-60s my Mama decided that she had worked enough, and she completely stopped. She just sat down, literally. She spent long days watching TV from her recliner or sleeping in her bed.

This was not the mama I grew up with. That mama was energetic and involved, especially in our lives. She also worked outside of the home. She dressed to the nines, and she was fun to be around.

Me and my Mom at the Beach

We went to the beach, on long vacations camping all across America, and to movies and museums.

Mom Cooking off a Picnic Table

She enrolled us in dance, twirling, and piano; but all three of us girls were cheerleaders born of a high school tumbling majorette.

Mom as a Majorette

A great cook she ran a tight household. She was so involved in my life that I rebelled big time as a teenager. I didn’t want her to have anything to say about anything in my life. By the time I left to go to college she and I were both exhausted because she held on all the tighter.

She was such an active woman she could bend backward and walk her hands down her backside until she bent into a high backbend, and then bend back up or flip back over to a standing position. I remember her doing a cartwheel off our diving board when she was in her early 60s, showing her granddaughters how it was done.

A Sedentary Lifestyle is a Choice

But suddenly her life was in her recliner, waiting on Daddy to do for her. She told us that she was pre-diabetic like it was a badge of honor. We noticed that she lived on carbs, and we fussed that she needed to watch her sugar.  She said that you couldn’t get diabetes just from eating sugar.

We didn’t know because diabetes was nothing we had before in our family. We began to study it.

She was still a size medium, but she ate anything she wanted. One day in a restaurant she reached for another biscuit, and I reminded her that the carbs in that biscuit turned into sugar in her bloodstream.

Mom with my Sisters, Aunt, and Cousins at Linda’s Wedding

Her judgment had already begun to falter. She glared at me and said she would eat anything she “damn well wanted”. The more she ate of these foods, the worse her legs got.

Being Sedentary Can Affect Your Mental Health

She began to snarl and snap at anyone who dared to question her. It not only impaired her health but her mental state and her relationships with her family members.

The more we encouraged her to keep moving the more she complained about her feet hurting and the more she sat. By the time she was 68 they cut her leg off. Though she was still a size medium and wasn’t really overweight, it still took its toll.

Daddy was an enabler. He cooked and cleaned and was the perfect nursemaid, but he was too perfect. She continued to decline. The more he did for her, the worse she got.

At the time we blamed the sugar, the smoking, the diet; but now we know that what really did her in was the inactivity. Her health continued to spiral out of control.

I read somewhere that for a person who loses a limb there is an 80% chance they will die within five years. She joined other statistics such as how every 30 seconds a limb is lost to diabetes, and at the time she joined nearly 2 million more Americans who already lost a limb.

Daddy died of pancreatic cancer while all of this was happening, and then we were the caregivers–me and my sisters. None of us were prepared. The youngest of us Linda was only 35, and I was 49. Linda had two daughters under the age of five.

We cycled through the problems for five more years after Dad died. Beating the statistics, she didn’t die within five years. She died In seven. She died because she wouldn’t allow them to cut off her other leg. We lost her when she was only 75.

Embracing a Sedentary Lifestyle Kills

In the past year, I’ve noticed numerous magazine and newspaper articles about the effects of prolonged sitting. You can read one here.

Written in 2015 it says there is evidence that “prolonged sitting is independently associated with negative health outcomes and mortality.” And it is worse for people who never exercise, and that was Mama. She wasn’t even a walker.

The article also said that “exercising one hour a day does not counteract prolonged sitting.” And that is me.

With most of us sitting more than half of our waking lives each day, it scares me to think how many more of my family may join her as a statistic. Maybe myself included, because I sit a lot writing, researching, and reading. I haven’t been in my garden for over a week. It is truly a “garden of weedin’.

But in case you thought sitting is the only culprit, read what the New York Times says about lying down. You can read it here.

It reads, “The short answer is that inactivity is the culprit, whether you are sitting or lying down.” Being sedentary kills.

Our legs and backsides use blood sugar for fuel, and in one study using physically fit young men the article said that “Within two weeks of being more sedentary, these previously healthy young men had begun to develop metabolic problems, including serious insulin resistance, whether they had spent their inactive time primarily sitting or in bed.” So it happens quicker than anyone realizes.

And the cacophony of problems caused by prolonged sitting reaches way beyond just diabetes. This diagram below found in the ‘Washington Post’ shows other problems caused by prolonged sitting such as a foggy brain, inflexible spine, tight hips, limp glutes, muscle degeneration, disc degeneration, colon cancer and much more.

You can read about the diagram here.

Being Active Can Save Your Life

For over 40 years I jumped up during commercials using the time to cook, clean, and even garden. I mention the real reason for this behavior in a post about my 40s.   You can read it here.

I mentioned it in this post about my back troubles. Turns out, jumping up during commercials was good for me according to the ‘Washington Post’.

So what can we do? The articles by both AARP and the ‘Washington Post’ made suggestions such as:

  • take a 1 to 3-minute break every half hour to stand and/or move around
  • stand or exercise while watching television or use commercials to walk or like me to just get something done. It is amazing how long commercials are and how much you can get done.
  • do cow and cat poses (Yoga). Click here for a link.
  • do hip flexors 3 minutes per side each day.  Click here for a link.

What happened to my Mama was heartbreaking for all her family, especially daughters and granddaughters–nine of us in all. Two of her granddaughters really never got to know her, and they will have hardly any memories of her.

Mom and Her Two Youngest Grandchildren (not too long before she passed away)

I wrote about this awful story because if it prolongs one life, then it was worth it.

I also wrote it because I miss my Mama. Chuck and I travel to some pretty neat places that she would have loved. I would have taken her along, but she died way, way too young.

What do you do to keep active and avoid a sedentary lifestyle? How do you integrate movement into your daily life? Have you found ways to encourage others to join you? Please share in the comments.

Exploring the Benefits of Magnificent Magnesium

by Filed Under: Health

I was deficient of Magnesium, but not anymore. I take my supplements religiously every night just before bed–400 mg of Magnesium citrate for me.

It took me years, but this may be the most important supplement for my body. For me it cured my sleeplessness and problems with an inability to poop regularly.

Different Types of Magnesium

I tried taking Magnesium years ago, but it didn’t seem to be working. That’s because it wasn’t. Turns out I was taking Magnesium oxide, a type that is hard for my body to absorb.
When we are young, our bodies absorb nutrients more easily; but as we age our bodies lose that ability. What I needed was a magnesium that absorbed easier. My doctor suggested magnesium citrate.

A few years ago, I had trouble sleeping. My doctor, Dr. Leslie Emhoff, suggested three supplements, one of which was Magnesium citrate. It turns out that it was the Magnesium rather than the other two supplements that helped me return to sleeping regularly. Big problem solved. You can read more here.

But still I skipped taking it, sometimes several days in a row, until I couldn’t sleep a night and then I would begin taking it again. I hate taking pills.

Magnesium for Regularity

So on to problem number two, which was a problem with doing number two. Frankly, I just couldn’t figure it out. I watched my fiber intake, but it was hit and miss. I tried to make sure I got whole foods including whole grains. And plenty of them, but still I found myself constipated from time to time. I couldn’t figure it out.

Photo compliments of Pixabay

Then a a couple of months ago I was at an elderly friend’s home, and Dr. Oz came on her caretaker’s tv talking about constipation. All of a sudden all three of us, my friend, her caretaker, and I were glued to the set. Seems all three of us, all over 60, have trouble in this department.

Somewhere during his presentation, Dr. Oz said that taking a Magnesium supplement can help with constipation. Voila! So I started making sure I took it every night and have had no problems ever since.

A Vastly Underappreciated Supplement

Turns out Magnesium helps with all kinds of problems. It seems that it is vastly under appreciated when it comes to our health.

It is vital for bone health, helping with bone density. For example, did you know that more than half the Magnesium stored in our bodies is stored in our bones?

It helps Vitamin D do it’s job, which I just found I’m deficient, even though I already took it.  Dr. Emhoff just increased my Vitamin D.

Magnesium is important for heart health. It seems that it relaxes our muscles, and our heart is just that–a muscle. It relaxes blood vessels, and this in turn lowers blood pressure.

Magnesium deficiency may be linked to the growing number of problems with insulin resistance and type II diabetes. There seems to be a correlation between type II diabetes and lower Magnesium stores.

Magnesium deficiency may be linked to inflammation. One study showed a correlation between higher Magnesium stores and less markers for inflammation.

So magnesium needs to be elevated to a super supplement in my book. Especially since it helps with problems in both my bedroom and my bathroom.

Sources of Magnesium

I take it in a supplement, but many people may be able to get it from the foods they eat. I’m a meat eater and love beef, chicken, pork, fish, etc.; but you need leafy greens, whole grains, nuts, and legumes to get enough Magnesium.

Photo compliments of Pixabay

Also, there are foods that take it out of our bodies, such as sodas and caffeinated beverages such as coffee and tea. I drink a lot of tea, so I probably need to take the supplement.
Magnesium deficiency can be related to all kinds of problems such as muscle cramps and spasms, tics, anxiety, and even seizures. It may also be related to chronic fatigue and depression. And when magnesium is low, our bodies strip it from our bones, where it is needed to work with Vitamin D and calcium.

Old Age Is Not for Sissies Blog (oldageisnotforsissiesblog.com) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

I purchase my magnesium citrate through Amazon.  Here is a link below to what I use.

 

A very good article about magnesium deficiency can be found here.

 

Photo compliments of Pixabay

 

But back to the bathroom problem. I remember my Grandmother taking Milk of Magnesia. I didn’t know why she took it, but I know now it was a laxative.

It seems that constipation is not caused by magnesium deficiency, but taking magnesium citrate simply helps relax your bowels and draws water into the intestines. You can read about it here.

The article also talks about those of us who should not take Magnesium citrate. If you fall in one of these categories, you should speak to your doctor before taking it.

My husband Chuck has problems with magnesium citrate, but his body responded well to Magnesium glycinate.  If your stools are too loose try Magnesium glycinate.

Magnesium is involved in more than 300 reactions in our bodies. All I know, though, is that magnificent Magnesium has made my life so much better.

 

 

Do you take supplements to ensure healthy aging? Are there any that you feel have contributed to good health in your 50s, 60s and/or 70s? Please share in the comments section below.

The Genius of Play

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health

Did you know that the amount of time that today’s children spend playing is far less than the amount of time we spent at play? How can that be with so many overwhelmed mothers who spend their time running children from one event to the next?

Children Playing

Siblings Wrestling in the Grass When They Thought No One Was Looking

Meanwhile, in our schools there is a decline in recesses. And at home there is an increase in screen time. Altogether, this means there is an overall decline in unsupervised play.

From time to time my husband Chuck and I reminisce about our childhood experiences and find ourselves comparing them to those of our grandchildren. The one that we feel is the most different is playing outdoors.

Neither of us would trade our experiences with our grandchildren’s. Not only do we see less children playing outdoors, but we also see that those who do are almost always involved in some sort of competitive, adult-supervised play.

Children at Play

T-Ball

We feel that outdoor play is important to the development of children, but we also think that unsupervised play is equally important.

I learned in October while at the Type-A Parents Blogging Conference that we are not alone in our beliefs. Researchers say that free play significantly improves kids’ problem-solving skills. Play is also one of the best ways to stimulate children’s brain development. Active kids are more likely to be active adults.

Children at Play

Girls Playing

But is free play the same as unsupervised play.

Chuck likes to talk about the traditional pick up game and how he feels it helped him develop into an independent adult. I wrote an earlier blog which described his experience. You can find it here.

I on the other hand like to tell about mine and my sister Pam’s imaginary world of playing house, using a stick to draw our homes in the dirt road driveway leading down to our home. They didn’t pave the driveway until I was much older.

Also, many of us in the neighborhood liked to play down in the woods behind our houses. We built forts and dammed the stream back there. Those were wonderful days, and there wasn’t an adult in sight for hours at a time.

 

Teenagers at play

Teenagers hanging out.

At the Conference I found in the expo a kiosk about a movement called, “The Genius of Play”. This is a national movement whose mission is to give families the information and inspiration to make Play an important part of every child’s day. You can read about it here.

Their research says that play is more than fun and games; that it is essential for child development. Their mission is to “give families the information and inspiration needed to make play an important part of every child’s life.” It provides advice, play tips, and ideas based on a kid’s age and developmental stages.

Since the conference, I found other groups with the same purpose, such as PortlandFamily.org and www.Care.Com.

The Genius of Play and the other groups feel that there are six key benefits of play that are crucial to healthy child development.  I’ve taken the liberty to regurgitate what they said, melding it all together below.

Key Benefits of Play

1. Play Improves Cognitive Abilities – There are studies that show a correlation between outdoor play and a reduction in ADHD symptoms. Outdoor play requires children to use their brains in unique ways. Also, it helps them to incorporate concepts learned in the classroom.

They may have learned about the parts of an insect in school, but in the outdoors they can study an insect up close, by themselves, and experience it in a hands-on way where they can see it and touch it, bringing to life the lesson they learned at their school. My daughters used to bring me rolly pollys and would also let the little green lizards bite their earlobes and wear them as earrings until they let go. Scientists tell us that outdoor play also decreases anxiety.

Children exploring

Exploring New Ground

2. Play Hones Communication Skills – Unstructured play helps with honing our communication skills. Not everyone can be chosen first nor can everyone take a turn on the slide first. Kids who participate in unstructured play with each other learn these communication and behavioral skills on the playground.

They also learn to modify and enforce their own rules. Chuck and I both were involved in unstructured, unsupervised play. His story about the pick-up game you heard about earlier. Mine, though, was in a big field across the road from my home. It was surrounded with houses, as we lived at the edge of a small town. Kids from the houses met in that field and played football, baseball, or whatever was in season. As a girl, I loved football best. I think it had something to do with getting tackled by the boys.

3. Play Increases Creativity – Outdoor play helps children use all their senses, such as insects to see, rustling leaves to hear, fresh mown grass to smell, rabbit weed to taste, and acorns to touch and throw. TV only gives them hearing and seeing, and it can seriously affect their perceptual abilities.

For example, biking develops self-confidence and satisfies one’s exploratory interest, and playing outdoors provides opportunities for imaginative play. Children invent things like Pam and I used to do with the imaginary houses we created. And it was dirt that presented limitless opportunities to invent our world as we pleased.

Children at Play

Building Creativity

4. Play Increases the Ability to Process and Express Emotions – Remember how excited we all got when someone made a touchdown or someone jumped across a wide ditch. Well, this is how we learned to process and express our emotions. We were challenged by the other kids; and that was a good thing, because we learned how to cope.

5. Play Develops Physical Skills – Did you know that children who play outdoors have better distance vision? A study by Optometry and Vision Science found this to be true. Also, outside play is relaxing and destressing for children.

Research shows that third graders who get 15 plus minutes of recess a day are better behaved in school. Playing outdoors also helps kids develop muscle strength and coordination. For example, the simple act of swinging requires a child to engage all their muscles to hold on, balance, and coordinate their body to move back and forth. Skating requires balance, too.

Child Playing Alone

Climbing Trees

6. Play Enhances Social Skills – Outdoor play requires kids to learn to get along with each other. Unchaperoned play requires it, too. It also helps kids gain self-confidence. Children invent rules and negotiate their way through play. This increases their creativity, intelligence, and negotiation skills—all social skills that we need to function in society.

But I would like to add a seventh benefit.

7. Play in the Outdoors Develops Good Health – Lots of children suffer from vitamin D deficiencies according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. This vitamin is important to future bone and heart health, but too much sun is a problem as well. My mother and I both made our kids come indoors during the hours of 10-2 p.m. Florida gets quite hot during the middle of the day anyway. But children need to play outdoors without sunscreen for some part of the day, and I don’t remember using sunscreen as a child at all unless we were swimming or out all day on the beach. I can remember playing outdoors without my shirt until I got to be about 6 or 7 years old. I believe outdoor play for children is vital to their good health.

So grandmothers, encourage your children to read this. They need to understand that unstructured play is as important as school and adult-supervised sports.

Children Playing

Nothing like a sprinkler on a hot summer’s day.

Kay Redfield Jamison, a psychologist noted for her work on bi-polar disorder, says it best, “Children need the freedom and time to play. Play is not a luxury. Play is a necessity.”

The Five Stages of Grief Plus One

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health

The holidays are especially difficult for those who have lost a loved one, especially within the past year.  Back in March I experienced a loss that I’ve never experienced before–the loss of one of my siblings.

Sisters

Me, Linda, and Pam


Last October was my sister Pam’s birthday, and she would have been 60 years old. I’ve missed her a lot lately, because it’s hard to move on like nothing really changed. In fact it seems disrespectful. And besides, now we’re in the Holidays.

Our parents are deceased, so she and I owned the two old family homes where we grew up. She owned our grandparent’s home, where our Dad was born; and I owned our childhood home, which he built next door. Since we both married and moved away years ago, we rented out the houses.

Every once in a while, though, we talked about getting old and moving back there beside each other–the possibility of two old widows growing older together. We laughed at the thought. We fought as kids so we expected nothing less later in life.

Back in October, though, I visited our Grandmother Hamrick’s two surviving sisters. They were the babies in their family of ten children. Today, they are two widows, 90 and 88, living across the street from each other in Port St. Lucie, Florida. They fight like no get out.

Pam and I would have been just like them, but now it will never happen. We will never grow old together. We will never move back to the old homes, either.

 

Losing Pam

Pam died last spring. She was 59 years young. She became very sick almost over night, and she didn’t make it. You can read about what happened here. 

Pam Roe Barnes

My Sister Pam


Since then, it has been a slow seven months; and looking back I realize I’m a classic example of the Five Stages of Loss and Grief that people react to under such circumstances.  You can read about it below.

The 5 Stages of Loss and Grief

 

Denial, Numbness and Shock

I think I went through some of this first stage while Pam was still sick. Her sickness was so sudden and so devastating that her life was in great danger, but I just didn’t accept it.  Never for a minute did I think that she might not make it. She was so strong and healthy before, and I just knew she would beat the illness. I was shocked and numb when she didn’t.

All of us coasted through those days immediately afterward. It was easier when there were people to receive, a funeral to attend, and goodbyes to be said. They say that the numbness is there to help you cope. All I know is I began to wonder what was wrong with me. I wondered why I didn’t cry more.

Chuck and I took a quick trip into the North Carolina mountains for a day between her death and the funeral. I just needed to grieve by myself. I think I was just too numb to be there to help plan her funeral. We drove to Chimney Rock, spent the night, and returned the next day.

And there have been other emotions.

 

Bargaining

Since she died last Spring, I find myself waking up in the middle of the night playing out different scenarios. I know now that I’ve been bargaining with myself. The scenarios center around Pam’s problems with delirium while she was in the hospital.

You see, a patient who is unconscious for a long time becomes very confused. Pam was on a ventilator for over three weeks; but she had family with her around the clock. Each day Chuck and I took over right after noon to relieve her husband, and we stayed until her son and his wife took over for the evening. All of us did this for the time that she was in the hospital.

Pam was unconscious almost the entire three weeks. Early on they had her in a drug-induced coma, but later they kept trying to wake her and that was a problem in and of itself. She fought the tubes down her throat, and her oxygen levels plummeted every time. Delirium was the issue; and we the family had no idea what it was, let alone the role it played in her possible recovery.

Since then, I read up on it; and now I wake up playing tapes in my head–that maybe If I kept her hospital room brightly lit during each and every day or if I kept talking to her non-stop while I was there.

Delirium happens when the patient becomes confused for many reasons, such as how night and day becomes one and the same to the patient, adding to their confusion.

What if, what if. I can’t get those tapes out of my head now. Thankfully, it isn’t every night, so I keep taking it one day or in this case one night at a time.

 

Anger

This stage for me came really, really early. I’m afraid I lashed out in anger at Pam’s ex-husband. They divorced over a decade ago, and Pam finally moved on and recently married. I was mad that they had been married only less than a year–that she didn’t have this new wonderful life very long. I just wanted her to be finally happy.

Married Couple

Pam and her Husband Mike


Of course, what I was really angry at was losing Pam. And losing her to a hideous myth about taking flu shots. Within a week or two after her death I wrote a blog post taking out all my anger on her ex and “When A Myth Can Cost A Life“. I guess I got it off my chest really quickly, because the anger is gone now.  There is sadness now.

There are two more steps in the grieving process–depression and acceptance. I haven’t experienced the former, and I believe I’m getting closer to the latter.  There is still a general numbness from time to time, but I’m no longer angry. I’m obviously still subconsciously bargaining, or I wouldn’t be waking up at night playing the “what if” scenarios. Thank goodness, I haven’t been depressed.

But there may be another step.

 

Guilt

I had two episodes that don’t seem to fit any of the five steps.

The night Pam died, I stepped out into the hallway because I just couldn’t stand to see Pam’s nine-month’s pregnant daughter crying or Pam’s husband of less than a year weeping.

I stepped around the corner when a totally unexpected feeling swept over me.  I felt like I had let my parents down. I was the older one and always taught to look after my little sister Pam.

Pam and I were two and a half years apart, so she was my little sister for over twelve years before our littlest sister Linda was born. I felt this immense feeling that I didn’t do enough to protect Pam–that I somehow failed her. I felt responsible. For a brief moment that night I felt I was to blame.
As I stepped into the hallway, I swooned. Thank goodness, I was alone. The wall held me up; and I composed myself before Pam’s kids saw it. They needed strength to lean on not someone collapsing herself. I think I swept the guilt aside, worrying more about Pam’s kids.

I haven’t felt this again since that night. Thankfully, my mind quickly let it go; but I feel now this was simply ‘guilt’.

A week later after Pam died, her little granddaughter was born. Our other sister Linda was there to take Pam’s place. She spent a week with Pam’s daughter, son-in-law, and new grandbaby doing what Pam had planned to do.

Several weeks after that, I finally held little Courtney in my arms for the first time, And I felt that it was all wrong. I felt guilty that I got the pleasure of touching that precious little child when Pam could not. It just wasn’t fair, and I was totally unprepared for how I felt.

Baby

Pam’s Grandbaby


I can’t seem to place these two emotions in any of the five steps of grieving, so I believe another step may be ‘guilt’.

 

A Plan For Overcoming Loss and Grief

While I researched the different steps of grief, I found a “Nine Step Action Plan for Overcoming Grief and Loss” by Dr. Phil. I found it helpful, and I found where I unknowingly used several of these steps to help me deal with my loss.
Chuck feels that our bodies and minds are wired due to evolution–wired to survive, to cope with whatever comes our way. He thinks that is why I unknowingly followed some of Dr. Phil’s nine-step action plan, that some of us are hard wired to handle grief better than others.

 

Daytime is Easier Because I Keep Busy

I try not to dwell on what happened, and I keep busy which isn’t too hard for me to do. Dr. Phil thinks this is an important part of not letting myself get stuck. If anything, my husband always encourages me to slow down and smell the roses more. But still I have to sleep, and that’s when my unconscious thought takes over.

So I try to take one day at a time. I try to stay out of my head. I know that I just need more time, and I try to stay busy.  Grief is hard work.

Still, though, it bothers me that she’s gone; and I’m still here. You see? Pam passed out of turn. I’m the older one, and I should have been next.

And there’s that guilt thing again.

Siblings

Me and Pam

What the Bible Says About Rest & Our Health

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health, Uncategorized

Rest sometimes escapes me. Even now that I’m retired, I find myself pushing too hard–to finish a post even if it is approaching midnight, to keep up with every tweet and Facebook post, to simply over achieve.

Now days, I only have myself to blame. I’ve always been a self starter, but there’s no boss other than myself now. I don’t rest enough. I stay up later than I should, and seldom a day goes by that I don’t work on this blog or the book.

I know better about over working myself. The first time I suffered physically from not getting enough rest was when I worked for the Florida Game and Fresh Water Fish Commission back in the 1990s. I worked long hours, because that was what it took to get the job done.

Lady with an alligator

Working for Game & Fish

I remember realizing when my health started suffering. Though I didn’t realize it at the time, I internalized a lot of negativity and eventually lost touch with my own body. The lack of rest resulted in much emotional turmoil.
I became the worst version of my own self. I went from being simply stressed, to tired, to mentally slow and finally physically vulnerable.

I developed back problems, I gained weight, and I became chronically tired. I felt like an old woman. even though I was barely 45. I finally quit the job that maybe I loved too much.

Cabinet Meeting

Cabinet Meeting for Agriculture in the Classroom

Recently, our interim pastor David Garnet brought us a sermon about the sabbath and what the Bible says about this special day of rest. This concept, though certainly not new, was something that stuck in my mind for some time afterwards. It made me rethink myself.

Trinity Presbyterian in Atlanta

I remember Sunday’s when I was growing up. It meant getting up and getting dressed up, then going to Sunday School and church services. Afterwards, it could be dinner on the grounds, which was simply a big assortment of covered dishes brought by the church ladies. There was no better eating than maybe my Grandma’s own cooking.

Easter around 1964

Easter around 1964

Or we would go to my grandparent’s to eat Sunday dinner and then sit a spell and enjoy one another. Granddaddy would likely wonder off for a nap, and we would play outside with Grandma’s neighborhood kids.

My best friend Brenda Cone lived next door. Later, we went home and Mom and Dad relaxed and visited with each other or friends who dropped by. Occasionally, they took us down to the river to swim.

Somewhere since then, my Sunday’s became full of other things like sleeping in, shopping, or catching up on a project needed for Monday. In time Sunday became like all the rest of the days, and it got so bad that I frequently slipped back down to the office to catch up.

I know that the sabbath wasn’t the same for my ancestors. About fifteen years ago I had an opportunity to interview a 97-year old cousin, who grew up in our family not too far from where I was raised. She made me realize that my forebear’s sabbath was very different.

Sunday’s of yesterday especially in rural areas, that is until the invention of automobiles, were usually church meetings that met only once a month. She said that they didn’t have a full-time pastor, and that he just came around once a month. I know from interviews that this was typical in the rural parts of our country, where most people lived a hundred years ago.

I asked her if she remembered them meeting in between these visits, but she said no, just once a month. I should have asked her how the other Sundays went, but didn’t. I think they probably rested, though, much like my parents and grandparents did.

I’ve always looked upon the sabbath as something for God, to praise him…by keeping it holy; but Pastor Garnet talked to us about what Jesus taught. Jesus said that the Sabbath was meant for man, not for God.

A Tree of Crosses

Our pastor said that the origin of the word ‘sabbath’ is a little unclear, but the Hebrew word sabbat seems to have been derived from the verb sabat, meaning to stop or to cease. Its theological meaning is rooted in God’s rest following the six days of creation.

So because words like this intrigue me, I went looking for more information. Most religious leaders say that rest is essential for the soul. Not only do Jews and Christians believe in this, but also those of Buddhism, Islam, Baha’i, and even Wiccan (among others) teach the importance of setting aside a period of time for rest. Our soul requires rest.

Our pastor showed us several passages from the Bible about the sabbath, but three were of special interest. In the Old Testament we are told to remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.   

It says, “Six days you shall labor, and do all your work; but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord God; in it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your manservant, or your maidservant, or your cattle, or the sojourner who is within your gates; for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it.”

Two thoughts here.  First, this is exactly what I thought the sabbath was. Second, did this mean that the wife didn’t get a day off? It looks like everyone else in the family and even the guests, cattle and servants got the day off, but why not the wife. This is in Exodus 20.

By the way the part about keeping the sabbath holy was the 4th of the 10 Commandments. All of this was in the Old Testament.

By the time of the New Testament, though, the Priests had added all kinds of rules and regulations for the sabbath, so Jesus added his own interpretation.

In Mark 2:27 “Jesus said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.” He went on to explain, “so if your heart isn’t a heart for man—if it is not a heart of love—you cannot see the meaning of the sabbath. For the sabbath is a gift of love to meet man’s needs, not an oppressive burden to make him miserable or proud.”

Today, many of us put too much emphasis on ‘doing’ and not enough on ‘resting’. We push, push, push until we become stressed out and incapable of being our best. I’m as guilty as anyone. Even now in retirement I do not take enough restful time for recharging.

Pushing my body into overdrive makes for a stiff neck and a dull throb in my shoulder muscles. It also causes digestive malfunctions such as gas, bloating, acid reflux and all the symptoms that accompany  an imbalance of good and bad gut flora.  And some of the new studies are showing that a lot of our allergies and skin conditions trace to this, as well.

When I worked for Game & Fish, I developed hormonal havoc and later learned that the constant pulses of cortisol and adrenalin being pumped through my blood boosted this causing adrenal exhaustion and an overall hormonal imbalance that led to even nastier complications such as the weight gain mentioned earlier, but also estrogen dominance and chronic fatigue.

 

Florida's Capitol 4th Floor

The 4th Floor of Florida’s Capitol between the House & the Senate

I was lucky that I stopped when I did because it could have also led to depression, insulin resistance (stress has a direct impact on your blood sugar levels), and even fertility issues.

And did you know that the it can accelerate the ageing process! Like wrinkles!!

Deep down I knew that I could come back later in a more productive and enhanced way to do my work, but I pushed on undaunted and unrested anyway. And people like us are everywhere–moms, students, office workers engineers, lawyers, truck drivers, store managers, and even retirees.

So keeping the sabbath was simply God’s wish for me, because I simply need to rest.

Rest allows my physical muscles to repair themselves and to prevent injury.

Rest is needed to form and maintain deeper relationships. It can provide time for us to visit and to enjoy each other’s company. Long talks help build community, whether it is family or the neighbors down the street. It is hard to do this while driving the kids around or while shopping at the mall.

Chuck meets Thomas for the first time.

Chuck meets Thomas for the first time.

I believe that when I finally learn to relax again that I will actually be more present and have more energy for myself, my friends and my family. I also believe it will help with better clarity of mind for when I do work.

Learning to Relax

Learning to Relax

I have been stressing over growing my social media sites for this blog. I spend far too much time trying to turn this corner.

I believe that I need to get myself back to being a more centered and well-rounded individual. I need to stop focusing on what I don’t have and start enjoying the things that I do–my family, my friends and life in general.

When a Myth Can Cost a Life

by Filed Under: Family Life, Health

How can a simple mistake or a basic myth cost a life?  I’ll explain.

I just lost my best friend of 59 plus years.  She was only 59, and I’ve known her for…well for….59 years.  We didn’t have a fight, though we did get in fights from time to time. Sometimes, it was simply fighting over a Barbie doll dress, while other times it was fighting over whether I had the right to talk badly about her future ex-husband.

She left before she said goodbye, though I did get to tell her goodbye.  I just don’t know if she heard me.

Ever since she left, my mind has been racing from one golden memory to the next.  And our common friends have been adding to those memories, thanks to phone calls and social media. There are stories about camping trips with our parents, lazy afternoons on the Wacissa River, roaming around Washington, DC with a teenaged nanny, and much much more.

Sisters at the Beach

Myself and Pam at Mexico Beach, Florida (1960)

My best friend was there for all the special moments in my life.  She was my maid of honor, and I was her matron of honor.  She was there when I had my children; and I was there when she had hers, all three of them.  I was almost there when her 20-year old daughter died, walking into the hospital room immediately after they took her off of life support.

1970s wedding

Pam, Linda & Me (1972)

 

I always worked outside of the home while she was a stay-at-home mom.  In the summer we met halfway between North Florida, where I lived, and Central Florida, where she had moved; and my girls went back with her to her house for a week.  This was something I was never able to reciprocate, and she never complained.  My girls loved it there.  She allowed all five of them (her three and my two)  to run free like wild Indians playing in the barn, through the line of citrus trees, and the pastures around her home.

We grew apart for some time when I thought her future ex-husband was mistreating her…when I just couldn’t understand why she didn’t throw him out like you would the trash.  Many times later, I looked the other way when she got me to ride downtown with her to get something from the grocery store.  We often drove a circuitous route through neighborhoods, her looking for his truck parked where it shouldn’t have been.  I acted like it was normal, though he was never at home nor was he ever there physically or emotionally for her or the children either.

Pam

Pam (about 1990)

She was mechanically inclined.  She often fixed her own car.  While in high school, I remember coming home and finding her underneath her car.  I believe it had a transmission problem, that she could fix herself.  I think it had something to do with being a manual transmission that would slip out of gear.

And one time she changed out the windows in her own home.  My youngest daughter remembers this.  She said that Pam had trouble getting several of those windows to fit.  She said that Pam would bang on the window, curse some, and then back up to take a good look and rest before going at it again.   Her ex never did much of anything around the house, and she did just about everything without too much of a complaint.

Money was tight, but not too tight for him to spend all his vacation time away from her and the kids.  So she took her kids on vacations without him and was there for them for just about every event.  They went to the beach, to college football games, and to NASCAR races.

When their oldest daughter died at the age of 20, Pam cried but never wavered.  She didn’t turn to drugs or alcohol.  She was the rock that held her family together; and when her kids left home, her husband left her, too.

A Mother & Her Son

Pam and her son (2009)

As her big sister, I wanted to kick his ass; but deep inside I knew that this was probably the best thing that could have happened to Pam.  Hers had been a lonely life.  I thought that maybe now she would move on and find someone who would love her and treat her like she deserved.

She was devastated but picked up her life and did well without him.  I was so proud of her.  Living well was her best revenge.  She moved to another state where no family was nearby and bought a home.  She was happy, especially when both children moved up there with her.

Finally, I celebrated for her when she met someone new who treated her with the kindness and respect she deserved.  They married less than a year ago while in Hawaii.  They came back married and excited about their new life together.

Hawaiian Wedding Photo

Pam and Mike’s Wedding, 2015

The Flu

Three weeks ago, my sister Pam came down with the flu; but this wasn’t just the standard flu, it was H1N1, also known as swine flu.  She got sicker and went to a walk-in clinic after hours.  They recommended she go to the hospital, but she said she felt fine and went home with a Z-Pak for the infection in her lungs.  She also had a touch of pneumonia.

While waiting for the Z-Pak to take effect, she got sicker until her husband took her to the hospital.  Problem was, the flu and pneumonia had already done a lot of damage.  She was already in Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome or ARDS.  She was moved to a research hospital, where they put her on a ventilator; but her body was never able to repair itself.  She was on that ventilator for over two weeks, almost always unconscious.  Earlier they had her sedated in a drug-induced coma so she couldn’t fight the tubes running down her throat.  Later, they tried to bring her back; but delirium created, even more, problems.  In the end, her lungs were irreversibly damaged, and she finally died.

My sister was a strong, healthy 59-year old.  She was full of life, and I believe she thought that she just had the flu and would be fine in a few days.  I believed in her, too.  I never once, until close to the end, thought that she couldn’t beat this thing.

Bungee Jump Harness Photo

Mike and Pam did some sort of bungee jump in Vegas. (2014)

Pam failed to get her flu shot last Fall when her husband had gotten one and came down sick.  She thought he had gotten the flu from the shot, a myth that all too many people believe.  So she decided against getting her shot, the first time in many years.

This is probably the #1 myth about the flu shot.  You cannot catch the flu from the flu shot. The vaccine is made from an inactivated virus that cannot transmit infection. So people who get sick after receiving a flu vaccination were going to get sick anyway.  My sister paid for this myth with her life.

Because of this myth, her two-year-old granddaughter will not remember her sweet Grandmother, and Pam’s daughter’s unborn child won’t know her either.

Toddler

Pam’s Granddaughter when she was one.

Which brings me to another great sadness.  Pam’s daughter was 40 months pregnant at Pam’s funeral.  She was already having contractions.  Pam was supposed to be with Kris when Kris brought the baby home from the hospital.  Instead, my youngest sister Linda filled in for Pam.   Her little granddaughter was born one week after she died.

Newborn Girl

Pam’s Newborn Granddaughter at Birth

And all this sadness, because Pam believed the myth, that she could get the flu from a flu shot.

My sisters: Myself, Linda & Pam

My sisters: Myself, Linda & Pam

Top 5 Supplements You Should Be Taking When You Are Middle Aged or Older

by Filed Under: Health, Nutrition & Diet

As many of you know, I have a special doctor who is truly most interested in preventing health problems in the future for me and my husband.  Recently, Chuck and I attended one of Dr. Leslie Emhoff’s seminars; and this one was about supplements and what we should be taking for optimal health.

 

Doctor

 

Here is a list of his recommended top five:

1.  Vitamin D3–  This essential vitamin lowers risks of heart disease, cancers, stroke, diabetes, Parkinson’s, weight gain, depression, and death. It may also help reverse muscle mass loss in menopausal women (Sao Paulo). After menopause, both vitamin D and magnesium deficiencies are a problem for women. When taking Vitamin D, we are less likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer’s. Vitamin D deficiency could also be linked to Type 1 diabetes and allergies. 5,000-10,000 IU is his recommendation for daily use.

2. Probiotics – counteract inflammation and produce a ton of micronutrients that your body needs. 80% of your melatonin is produced in your gut; so if your gut is messed up, you have a problem. He suggested 50 billion units. And do not make the mistake I did and take it out of its capsule to pour its contents in your smoothie. Take the capsule whole. I take mine early in the morning.

3. Curcumin (turmeric). This supplement fights inflammation, which they are finding leads to dementia. It helps create cell growth in the brain and can stimulate neuron connections.    It expresses genes, when stress and toxins are a problem. It helps turn on good genes and turn off the bad ones. Suggested use: 500-800 mg extract daily.

4. Magnesium – depletion of this leads to diabetes, fatigue, migraines, osteoporosis, plus many more problems. Magnesium activates over 300 enzymes in our bodies.   Chronic stress and aging lead to lower levels. Highly processed foods add to why our levels are so low today.   It is also further depleted by soft drinks and sweets.   Magnesium affects cellular energy production. The magnesium levels in our bodies are hard to measure because only 1% of it is in our blood.  Make sure it is citrate, so your body will absorb it.  Magnesium oxide does not work at all for me.  I’ve read that other forms of magnesium are a problem, too.  250-700 magnesium citrate at bedtime.

Don’t make my mistake.  I used to take mine in the morning and kept getting sleepy by early afternoon.  It affects your circadian rhythm.  I took magnesium to help me sleep better.  I wrote an earlier post on this called How Our Circadian Rhythms Affect Our Ability to Sleep

5. Vitamin K2 – modulates.  It is the traffic director for calcium.  It keeps it out of your blood stream and directs it into your bones.  It is usually manufactured by probiotics in your gut. We get it naturally from fermented products like sauerkraut. 90-100 mcg a day

Wellness medicine is different from illness medicine.  My doctor refocused his practice not just to diagnose and treat illness, but to also deliver personalized preventative health care. This seminar on what supplements we should be taking was part of his new focus.

 

Apple A Day

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